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〃well；〃 the father replied； 〃the stork plucked you out of the ocean； set you down in mothers bed and bit her in the leg； hard。 it bled so much she had to stay in bed for a week。鈥�
not fully satisfied； the boy went to his mother。 〃tell me； mother；〃 he asked； 〃how did you get born and how did i get born？鈥�
his mother told him the very same story。 finally； hoping to hear the fine points； he went to his grandfather。 〃tell me； grandfather；〃 he said； 〃how did you get born and how did your daughter get born？〃 and for the third time he was told exactly the same story。
that night he wrote in his diary： 〃after careful inquiry； i must conclude that there has been no sexual intercourse in our family for the last three generations！鈥�
i still have work to do； its already three oclock。
yours； anne
m。 frank
ps。 since i think ive mentioned the new cleaning lady； i just want to note that shes married； sixty years old and hard of hearing！ very convenient； in view of all the noise that eight people in hiding are capable of mak… ing。
oh； kit； its such lovely weather。 if only i could go outside！
wednesday； may 10； 1944
dearest kitty；
we were sitting in the attic yesterday afternoon working on our french when suddenly i heard the splatter of water behind me。 i asked peter what it might be。 without pausing to reply； he dashed up to the loft…the scene of the disaster and shoved
mouschi； who was squatting beside her soggy litter box； back to the right place。 this was followed by shouts and squeals； and then mouschi； who by that time had finished peeing； took off downstairs。 in search of something similar to her box； mouschi had found herself a pile of wood shavings； right over a crack in the floor。 the puddle immediately trickled down to the attic and； as luck would have it； landed in and next to the potato barrel。 the cethng was dripping； and since the attic floor has also got its share of cracks； little yellow drops were leaking through the ceiling and onto the dining table； between a pile of stockings and books。
i was doubled up with laughter； it was such a funny sight。 there was mouschi crouched under a chair； peter armed with water； powdered bleach and a cloth； and mr。
van daan trying to calm everyone down。 the room was soon set to rights； but its a well…known fact that cat puddles stink to high heaven。 the potatoes proved that all too well； as did the wood shavings； which father collected in a bucket and brought downstairs to burn。
poor mouschi！ how were you to know its impossible to get peat for your box？
anne thursday； may 11； 1944
dearest kitty；
a new sketch to make you laugh：
peters hair had to be cut； and as usual his mother was to be the hairdresser。 at seven twenty…five peter vanished into his room； and reappeared at the stroke of seven…thirty； stripped down to his blue swimming trunks and a pair of tennis shoes。
〃are you ing？〃 he asked his mother。
〃yes； ill be up in a minute； but i cant find the scissors！鈥�
peter helped her look； rummaging around in her cosmetics drawer。 〃dont make such a mess； peter；〃 she grumbled。
i didnt catch peters reply； but it must have been insolent； because she cuffed him on the arm。 he cuffed her back； she punched him with all her might； and peter pulled his arm away with a look of mock horror on his face。 〃e on； old girl！〃
mrs。 van d。 stayed put。 peter grabbed her by the wrists and pulled her all around the room。 she laughed； cried； scolded and kicked； but nothing helped。 peter led his prisoner as far as the attic stairs； where he was obliged to let go of her。 mrs。 van d。
came back to the room and collapsed into a chair with a loud sigh。
〃die enifu〃hruna der mutter；〃。 i joked。 ＇* the abduction of mother； a possible reference to mozarts opera the abduction from the seraglio。＇ 〃yes； but he hurt me。鈥�
i went to have a look and cooled her hot； red wrists with water。 peter； still by the stairs and growing impa… tient again； strode into the room with his belt in his hand； like a lion tamer。 mrs。 van d。 didnt move； but stayed by her writing desk； looking for a handkerchief。 〃youve got to apologize first。鈥�
〃all right； i hereby offer my apologies； but only because if i dont； well be here till midnight。鈥�
mrs。 van d。 had to laugh in spite of herself。 she got up and went toward the door； where she felt obliged to give us an explanation。 （by us i mean father； mother and me； we were busy doing the dishes。） 〃he wasnt like this at home；〃 she said。 〃id have belted him so hard hed have gone flying down the stairs ＇！＇。 hes never been so insolent。 this isnt the first time hes deserved a good hiding。 thats what you get with a modern upbringing； modern children。 id never have grabbed my mother like that。 did you treat your mother that way； mr。 frank？〃 she was very upset； pacing back and forth； saying whatever came into her head； and she still hadnt gone upstairs。
finally； at long last； she made her exit。
less than five minutes later she stormed back down the stairs； with her cheeks all puffed out； and flung her apron on a chair。 when i asked if she was through； she replied that she was going downstairs。 she tore down the stairs like a tornado； probably straight into the arms of her putti。
she didnt e up again until eight； this time with her husband。 peter was dragged from the attic； given a merciless scolding and showered with abuse： ill…mannered brat； no…good bum； bad example； anne this； margot that； i couldnt hear the rest。
everything seems to have calmed down again today！
yours； anne
m。 frank
p。s。 tuesday and wednesday evening our beloved queen addressed the country。 shes taking a vacation so shell be in good health for her return to the netherlands。
she used words like 〃soon； when im back in holland；〃 〃a swift liberation；〃 〃heroism鈥�
and 〃heavy burdens。鈥�
this was followed by a speech by prime minister gerbrandy。 he has such a squeaky little childs voice that mother instinctively said； 〃oooh。〃 a clergyman； who must have borrowed his voice from mr。 edel； concluded by asking god to take care of the jews； all those in concentration camps and prisons and everyone working in germany。
thursday； may 11； 1944
dearest kitty；
since ive left my entire 〃junk box〃 including my fountain pen upstairs and im not allowed to disturb the grown…ups during their nap time （until two…thirty）； youll have to make do with a letter in pencil。
im terribly busy at the moment； and strange as it may sound； i dont have enough time to get through my pile of work。 shall i tell you briefly what ive got to do？ well then； before tomorrow i have to finish reading the first volume of a biography of galileo galilei； since it has to be returned to the library。 i started reading it yesterday and have gotten up to page 220 out of 320 pages； so ill manage it。 next week i have to read palestine at the cross… roads and the second volume of galilei。 besides that； i finished the first volume of a biography of emperor charles v yesterday； and i still have to work out the many genealogical charts ive collected and the notes ive taken。
next i have three pages of foreign words from my various books； all of which have to be written down；