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oh； ive failed miserably。 this is the worst thing ive ever done in my entire life。 i used my tears to show off； to make myself seem important so hed respect me。 ive certainly had my share of unhappiness； and everything i said about mother is true。 but to accuse pim； whos so good and whos done everything for me…no； that was too cruel for words。
its good that somebody has finally cut me down to size； has broken my pride； because ive been far too smug。 not everything mistress anne does is good！ any… one who deliberately causes such pain to someone they say they love is despicable； the lowest of the low！
what im most ashamed of is the way father has forgiven me； he said hes going to throw the letter in the stove； and hes being so nice to me now； as if he were the one whod done something wrong。 well； anne； you still have a lot to learn。 its time you made a beginning； in… stead of looking down at others and always giving them the blame！
ive known a lot of sorrow； but who hasnt at my age？ ive been putting on an act； but was hardly even aware of it。 ive felt lonely； but never desperate！ not like father； who once ran out into the street with a knife so he could put an end to it all。 ive never gone that far。
i should be deeply ashamed of myself； and i am。 whats done cant be undone； but at least you can keep it from happening again。 id like to start all over； and that shouldnt be difficult； now that i have peter。 with him supporting me； i know i can do it！ im not alone anymore。 he loves me； i love him； i have my books； my writing and my diary。 im not all that ugly； or that stupid； i have a sunny disposition； and i want to develop a good character！
yes； anne； you knew full well that your letter was unkind and untrue； but you were actually proud of it！ ill take father as my example once again； and i will improve myself。
yours； anne
m。 frank
monday； may 8； 1944
dearest kitty；
have i ever told you anything about our family？ i dont think i have； so let me begin。
father was born in frankfurt am main to very wealthy parents： michael frank owned
a bank and became a millionaire； and alice sterns parents were prominent and well…to…do。 michael frank didnt start out rich； he was a self…made man。 in his youth father led the life of a rich mans son。 parties every week； balls； banquets； beautiful girls； waltzing； dinners； a huge house； etc。 after grandpa died； most of the money was lost； and after the great war and inflation there was nothing left at all。 up until the war there were still quite a few rich relatives。 so father was extremely well…bred； and he had to laugh yesterday because for the first time in his fifty…five years； he scraped out the frying pan at the table。
mothers family wasnt as wealthy； but still fairly well…off； and weve listened openmouthed to stories of private balls； dinners and engagement parties with 250 guests。
were far from rich now； but ive pinned all my hopes on after the war。 i can assure you； im not so set on a bourgeois life as mother and margot。 id like to spend a year in paris and london learning the languages and studying art history。 pare that with margot； who wants to nurse newborns in palestine。 i still have visions of gorgeous dresses and fascinating people。 as ive told you many times before； i want to see the world and do all kinds of exciting things； and a little money wont hurt！
this morning miep told us about her cousins engagement party； which she went to on saturday。 the cousins parents are rich； and the grooms are even richer。 miep made our mouths water telling us about the food that was served： vegetable soup with meatballs； cheese； rolls with sliced meat； hors doeuvres made with eggs and roast beef； rolls with cheese； genoise； wine and cigarettes； and you could eat as much as you wanted。
miep drank ten schnapps and smoked three cigarettes could this be our temperance advocate？ if miep drank all those； i wonder how many her spouse managed to toss down？ everyone at the party was a little tipsy； of course。 there were also two officers from the homicide squad； who took photographs of the wedding couple。 you can see were never far from mieps thoughts； since she promptly noted their names and addresses in case anything should happen and we needed contacts with good dutch people。
our mouths were watering so much。 we； whod had nothing but two spoonfuls of hot cereal for breakfast and were absolutely famished； we； who get nothing but half…cooked spinach （for the vitamins！） and rotten pota… toes day after day； we； who fill our empty stomachs with nothing but boiled lettuce； raw lettuce； spinach； spinach and more spinach。 maybe well end up being as strong as popeye； though up to now ive seen no sign of it！
if miep had taken us along to the party； there wouldnt have been any rolls left over for the other guests。 if wed been there； wed have snatched up everything in sight； including the furniture。 i tell you； we were practically pulling the words right out of her mouth。 we were gathered around her as if wed never in all our lives heard of鈥�
delicious food or elegant people！ and these are the granddaughters of the distinguished millionaire。 the world is a crazy place！
yours； anne
m。 frank
tuesday； may 9； 1944
dearest kitty；
ive finished my story about ellen； the fairy。 ive copied it out on nice notepaper； decorated it with red ink and sewn the pages together。 the whole thing looks quite pretty； but i dont know if its enough of a birthday present。 margot and mother have both written poems。
mr。 kugler came upstairs this afternoon with the news that starting monday； mrs。
broks would like to spend two hours in the office every afternoon。 just imagine！ the office staff wont be able to e upstairs； the potatoes cant be delivered； bep wont get her dinner； we cant go to the bathroom； we wont be able to move and all sorts of other inconveniences！ we proposed a variety of ways to get rid of her。 mr。 van daan thought a good laxative in her coffee might do the trick。 〃no；〃 mr。 kleiman answered； 〃please dont； or well never get her off the can。
a roar of laughter。 〃the can？〃 mrs。 van d。 asked。 〃what does that mean？〃 an explanation was given。 〃is it all right to use that word？〃 she asked in perfect innocence。 〃just imagine；〃 bep giggled； 〃there you are shopping at the bijenkorf and you ask the way to the can。 they wouldnt even know what you were talking about！鈥�
dussel now sits on the 〃can；〃 to borrow the expression； every day at twelve…thirty on the dot。 this afternoon i boldly took a piece of pink paper and wrote：
mr。 dussels toilet timetable mornings from 7： 15 to 7：30 a。m。
afternoons after 1 p。m。
otherwise； only as needed！
i tacked this to the green bathroom door while he was still inside。 i might well have added transgressors will be subject to confinement！〃 because our bathroom can be locked from both the inside and the outside。
mr。 van daans latest joke：
after a bible lesson about adam and eve； a thirteen…year…old boy asked his father； 〃tell me； father； how did i get born？鈥�
〃well；〃 the father replied； 〃the stork plucked you out of the ocean； set you down in mothers bed and bit her in the leg； hard。 it bled so much she