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ins to mutter that prayer again：
La illaha il Allah； Muhammad u rasul ullah。
They had to transfuse several units of red cells…… How will I tell Soraya？
Twice； they had to revive him……I will do _namaz_； I will do _zakat_。
They would have lost him if his heart hadn t been young and strong……
I will fast。
He is alive。
Dr。 Nawaz smiles。 It takes me a moment to register what he has just said。 Then he says more but I don t hear him。 Because I have taken his hands and I have brought them up to my face。 I weep my relief into this stranger s small； meaty hands and he says nothing now。 He waits。
THE INTENSIVE CARE UNIT is L…shaped and dim； a jumble of bleeping monitors and whirring machines。 Dr。 Nawaz leads me between two rows of beds separated by white plastic curtains。 Sohrab s bed is the last one around the corner； the one nearest the nurses station where two nurses in green surgical scrubs are jotting notes on clipboards； chatting in low voices。 On the silent ride up the elevator with Dr。 Nawaz； I had thought I d weep again when I saw Sohrab。 But when I sit on the chair at the foot of his bed； looking at his white face through the tangle of gleaming plastic tubes and IV lines； I am dry…eyed。 Watching his chest rise and fall to the rhythm of the hissing ventilator； a curious numbness washes over me； the same numbness a man might feel seconds after he has swerved his car and barely avoided a head…on collision。
I doze off； and； when I wake up； I see the sun rising in a buttermilk sky through the window next to the nurses station。 The light slants into the room； aims my shadow toward Sohrab。 He hasn t moved。
You d do well to get some sleep； a nurse says to me。 I don t recognize her……there must have been a shift change while I d napped。 She takes me to another
lounge； this one just outside the ICU。 It s empty。 She hands me a pillow and a hospital…issue blanket。 I thank her and lie on the vinyl sofa in the corner of the lounge。 I fall asleep almost immediately。
I dream I am back in the lounge downstairs。 Dr。 Nawaz walks in and I rise to meet him。 He takes off his paper mask； his hands suddenly whiter than I remembered； his nails manicured； he has
neatly parted hair； and I see he is not Dr。 Nawaz at all but Raymond Andrews； the little embassy man with the potted tomatoes。 Andrews cocks his head。 Narrows his eyes。
IN THE DAYTIME； the hospital was a maze of teeming； angled hallways； a blur of blazing…white overhead fluorescence。 I came to know its layout； came to know that the fourth…floor button in the east wing elevator didn t light up； that the door to the men s room on that same floor was jammed and you had to ram your shoulder into it to open it。 I came to know that hospital life has a rhythm； the flurry of activity just before the morning shift change； the midday hustle； the stillness and quiet of the late…night hours interrupted occasionally by a blur of doctors and nurses rushing to revive someone。 I kept vigil at Sohrab s bedside in the daytime and wandered through the hospital s serpentine corridors at night； listening to my shoe heels clicking on the tiles； thinking of what I would say to Sohrab when he woke up。 I d end up back in the ICU； by the whooshing ventilator beside his bed； and I d be no closer to knowing。
After three days in the ICU； they withdrew the breathing tube and transferred him to a ground…level bed。 I wasn t there when they moved him。 I had gone back to the hotel that night to get some sleep and ended up tossing around in bed all night。 In the morning； I tried to not look at the bathtub。 It was clean now； someone had wiped off the bloo