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step。
I ve been thinking a lot about mosques lately; Sohrab said。
You have? What about them?
He shrugged。 Just thinking about them。 He lifted his face; looked straight at me。 Now he was crying; softly; silently。 Can I ask you something; Amir agha?
Of course。
Will God。。。 he began; and choked a little。 Will God put me in hell for what I did to that man?
I reached for him and he flinched。 I pulled back。 Nay。 Of course not; I said。 I wanted to pull him close; hold him; tell him the world had been unkind to him; not the other way around。
His face twisted and strained to stay posed。 Father used to say it s wrong to hurt even bad people。 Because they don t know any better; and because bad people sometimes bee good。
Not always; Sohrab。
He looked at me questioningly。
The man who hurt you; I knew him from many years ago; I said。 I guess you figured that out that from the conversation he and I had。 He。。。 he tried to hurt me once when I was your age; but your father saved me。 Your father was very brave and he was always rescuing me from trouble; standing up for me。 So one day the bad man hurt your father instead。 He hurt him in a very bad way; and I。。。 I couldn t save your father the way he had saved me。
Why did people want to hurt my father? Sohrab said in a wheezy little voice。 He was never mean to anyone。
You re right。 Your father was a good man。 But that s what I m trying to tell you; Sohrab jan。 That there are bad people in this world; and sometimes bad people stay bad。 Sometimes you have to stand up to them。 What you did to that man is what I should have done to him all those years ago。 You gave him what he deserved; and he deserved even more。
Do you think Father is disappointed in me?
I know he s not; I said。 You saved my life in Kabul。 I know he is very proud of you for that。
He wiped his face with the sleeve of his shirt。 It burst a bubble of spittle that had formed on his lips。 He buried his face in his hands and wept a long time before he spoke again。 I miss Father; and Mother too; he croaked。 And I miss Sasa and Rahim Khan sahib。 But sometimes I m glad they re not 。。。 they re not here anymore。
Why? I touched his arm。 He drew back。
Because…… he said; gasping and hitching between sobs; because I don t want them to see me。。。 I m so dirty。 He sucked in his breath and let it out in a long; wheezy cry。 I m so dirty and full of sin。
You re not dirty; Sohrab; I said。
Those men……
You re not dirty at all。
……they did things。。。 the bad man and the other two。。。 they did things。。。 did things to me。
You re not dirty; and you re not full of sin。 I touched his arm again and he drew away。 I reached again; gently; and pulled him to me。 I won t hurt you; I whispered。 I promise。 He resisted a lit tle。 Slackened。 He let me draw him to me and rested his head on my chest。 His little body convulsed in my arms with each sob。
A kinship exists between people who ve fed from the same breast。 Now; as the boy s pain soaked through my shirt; I saw that a kinship had taken root between us too。 What had happened in that room with Assef had irrevocably bound us。
I d been looking for the right time; the right moment; to ask the question that had been buzzing around in my head and keep ing me up at night。 I decided the moment was now; right here; right now; with the bright lights of the house of God shining on us。
Would you like to e live in America with me and my wife?
He didn t answer。 He sobbed into my shirt and I let him。
FOR A WEEK; neither one of us mentioned what I had asked him; as if the question hadn t b