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r back in sympathy。 She cried； too； because now she understood； just a little； what had been done to him。
When at last she was able to sit up； he was still watching her； still holding the Agiel in his fist。 ‘It hurts like that for you to hold it？’
‘Yes。’
She hit him on the shoulder with her fist。 ‘Let go of it！’ she cried。 ‘Stop it！’
He released the Agiel； letting it hang again。 ‘It helps distract me from the headaches； sometimes； to touch it。 Believe it or not； it helps。’
‘You mean the headache hurts more than that？’
He nodded。 ‘If it wasn’t for what Denna taught me about pain； I would be unconscious right now。 Denna taught me how to control pain； how to tolerate it； so she could give me more。’
She tried to hold back the tears。 ‘Richard； I 。。。’
‘What you felt was the least of what the Agiel can do。’ He picked it up again and touched the tip to the inside of his other forearm。 Blood gushed from under the Agiel。 He took it away。 ‘It can strip the flesh right off you。 It can break your bones。 Denna liked to use it to crack my ribs。 She would press it against me and I could hear the bone crack。 They still aren’t healed； it still hurts to lie down； or when you hug me tight enough。 It can do a lot of other things too。 It can even kill with a touch。’
He stared at the fire。 ‘Denna shackled my wrists； and later locked my arms behind me； and held me up with a rope from the ceiling。 She used the Agiel on me for hours at a time。 I would beg until I was hoarse； for her to stop。 She never did。 Not once。
There was no way for me to fight back； nothing I could do to stop her。 She trained me； she taught me； until I sometimes thought I had no blood or breath left。 I begged her to kill me； to end the pain。 I would have done it myself； but she used magic to prevent it。 She had me kneel in front of her and beg her to use the Agiel。 I would have done anything she said。 She had a friend who came along sometimes； so they could share the 。。。 fun。’
Kahlan sat frozen； hardly able to breathe。 ‘Richard； I 。。。’
‘Every day； she led me by the collar to a place where she could hang me up by a rope； a room where she could use the Agiel on me without distraction； where it didn’t matter so much if my blood got everywhere。 Sometimes she did it from the first thing in the morning until night。 And then at night 。。。
That is what wearing a collar means to me。 You can tell me about how much sense it makes； about how it will help me； and about how I have no choice； but that is what wearing a collar means to me。
‘I know exactly what your shoulder feels like right now。 It feels like the skin has been burned； and the muscle has been torn； and bone is splintered。 That is what it feels like to wear a Mord…Sith’s collar。 Only everywhere on your body all at once； and all day long。 Add to that the thought that you are helpless to stop it； that you can never escape； that you’ll never again see the only person you will ever love。
‘I would rather die than put a collar around my neck again。’
Kahlan rubbed her shoulder。 It felt just as he had described it。 She couldn’t think of anything to say。 She hurt too much； inside； to say anything。 So she sat and watched him look at the fire as tears ran down her face。 She ached for him。
And then she heard herself ask something she had promised herself she wasn’t ever going to ask。 ‘Denna took you for her mate； didn’t she。’ She wished she could call the words back； and at the same time； she didn’t。
Richard didn’t flinch。 ‘Yes；’ he whispered as he stared at the fire。 Another tear ran down his cheek。 ‘How did you know？’
‘Demmin Nass brought two quads to take me。 He had a spell…web from Darken Rahl to protect him from Zedd’s magic。 From mine too。 Zedd couldn’t do anything； he was frozen by a web。 Demmin Nass told me what had happened to you。 He said you were dead。 That was when I called forth the Con Dar and killed him。’
Richard’s eyes closed as another tear ran down。 There was no way for me to stop her。 I swear； Kahlan 。。。 I tried。 You can’t imagine what Denna did to me for trying to stop her。 There was no way for me to fight back。 She could do anything she wanted。 It wasn’t enough for her to hurt me just in the day。 She wanted to hurt me at night； too。’
‘How can anyone be that evil？’
Richard stared at the Agiel as he slowly grasped it in his fist again。 ‘She was captured when she was twelve。 They trained her with this Agiel。 This very one。 Everything she did to me； they had done to her。 Over and over。 For years。 They tortured her parents to death in front of her。 There was no one to help her。
‘She grew into a woman at the end of this Agiel； surrounded only by people who wanted her to hurt。 There was no one to give her even a single word of hope； of fort； of love。
‘Can you imagine her terror？ They gave her a life of endless pain。 They raped her body and her spirit。 They broke her。 They made her one of them。 Darken Rahl； personally； made her one of them。
The whole time she used this Agiel on me； it hurt her。 The same as it hurts me to hold it now。 There’s some magic for you。
‘One day； Darken Rahl beat her； for hours； because he thought she wasn’t hurting me enough。 He flailed the skin right off her back。’
Richard’s head hung as he cried。 And then at the end of all that； at the end of a life of pain and madness； I e along； turn the Sword of Truth white； and run it through her。 The only thing she asked before I killed her was for me to wear her Agiel and remember her。 I was the only one who understood her pain。 It was the only thing she wanted： for someone who understood to remember her。
‘I promised； and she hung it around my neck。 And then she just sat there as I pushed my sword through her heart。 She had been hoping I would be the one with the power to kill her。
‘That is how someone can be that evil。 If I had the power； I would bring Darken Rahl back to life so I could kill him again。’
Kahlan sat stunned； motionless； caught in a vortex of conflicting emotions。 She hated this Denna for hurting Richard； she was unaccountably jealous of her； and at the same time； she felt unexpected； wrenching sorrow for her。 Finally； she turned away and wiped the tears from her face。
‘Richard； why didn’t they win？ Why wasn’t Denna able to break you？ How did you keep your sanity？’
‘Because； as the Sisters said； I partitioned my mind。 I don’t know how to explain it。 I didn’t even know exactly what it was I was doing； but that’s how I saved myself。 I put the core of myself away and sacrificed the rest。 I let her do what she would。 Darken Rahl said that I have the gift because I did that。 That was when I first heard the word … partitioned。’
Richard lay back； resting his arm over his eyes。 Kahlan pulled out a blanket and bunched it under his head。 ‘I’m so sorry； Richard；’ she whispered。
‘It’s over。 That is what matters。’ He took his arm from his eyes and at last smiled up at her。 ‘It’s over and we are together。 In some ways； it was good。 If she hadn’t taught