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lew up with all on board。 Had a stronger squadron been sent； this deplorable catastrophe might have been spared： a catastrophe which excited not more indignation in Spain than it did grief in those who were its unwilling instruments； in the English government； and in the English people。 On the 5th of October this unhappy affair occurred； and Nelson was not apprised of it till the twelfth of the ensuing month。 He had； indeed； sufficient mortification at the breaking out of this Spanish war； an event which； it might reasonably have been supposed； would amply enrich the officers of the Mediterranean fleet； and repay them for the severe and unremitting duty on which they had been so long employed。 But of this harvest they were deprived； for Sir John Orde was sent with a small squadron； and a separate command； to Cadiz。 Nelson's feelings were never wounded so deeply as now。 〃I had thought；〃 said he； writing in the first flow and freshness of indignation； 〃Fanciedbut nay； it must have been a dream； an idle dream； yet I confess it； I DID fancy that I had done my country service； and thus they use me！ And under what circumstances； and with what pointed aggravation？ Yet； if I know my own thoughts； it is not for myself； or on my own account chiefly； that I feel the sting and the disappointment。 No！ it is for my brave officers： for my noble minded friends and comrades。 Such a gallant set of fellows！ Such a band of brothers！ My heart swells at the thought of them。〃
War between Spain and England was now declared； and on the eighteenth of January； the Toulon fleet； having the Spaniards to co…operate with them； put to sea。 Nelson was at anchor off the coast of Sardinia； where the Madelena islands form one of the finest harbours in the world； when； at three in the afternoon of the nineteenth； the ACTIVE and SEAHORSE frigates brought this long…hoped…for intelligence。 They had been close to the enemy at ten on the preceding night； but lost sight of them in about four hours。 The fleet immediately unmoored and weighed； and at six in the evening ran through the strait between Biche and Sardinia： a passage so narrow that the ships could only pass one at a time； each following the stern…lights of its leader。 From the position of the enemy； when they were last seen； it was inferred that they must be bound round the southern end of Sardinia。 Signal was made the next morning to prepare for battle。 Bad weather came on； baffling the one fleet in its object； and the other in its pursuit。 Nelson beat about the Sicilian seas for ten days； without obtaining any other information of the enemy than that one of their ships had put into Ajaccio； dismasted； and having seen that Sardinia； Naples； and Sicily were safe； believing Egypt to be their destination； for Egypt he ran。 The disappointment and distress which he had experienced in his former pursuits of the French through the same seas were now renewed； but Nelson； while he endured these anxious and unhappy feelings； was still consoled by the same confidence as on the former occasionthat； though his judgment might be erroneous； under all circumstances he was right in having formed it。 〃I have consulted no man；〃 said he to the Admiralty； 〃therefore the whole blame of ignorance in forming my judgment must rest with me。 I would allow no man to take from me an atom of my glory had I fallen in with the French fleet； nor do I desire any man to partake any of the responsibility。 All is mine； right or wrong。〃 Then stating the grounds upon which he had proceeded； he added； 〃At this moment of sorrow； I still feel that I have acted right。〃 In the same spirit he said to Sir Alexander Ball： 〃When I call to remembrance all the circumstances； I approve； if nobody else does； of my own conduct。〃
Baffled thus； he bore up for Malta； and met intelligence from Naples that the French； having been dispersed in a gale； had put back to Toulon。 From the same quarter he learned that a great number of saddles and muskets had been embarked； and this confirmed him in his opinion that Egypt was their destination。 That they should have put him back in consequence of storms which he had weathered； gave him a consoling sense of British superiority。 〃These gentlemen；〃 said he； 〃are not accustomed to a Gulf of Lyons gale： we have buffeted them for one…and…twenty months； and not carried away a spar。〃 He； however； who had so often braved these gales； was now； though not mastered by them； vexatiously thwarted and impeded； and on February 27th he was compelled to anchor in Pula Bay in the Gulf of Cagliari。 From the 21st of January the fleet had remained ready for battle； without a bulk…head up night or day。 He anchored here that he might not be driven to leeward。 As soon as the weather moderated he put to sea again； and after again beating about against contrary winds； another gale drove him to anchor in the Gulf of Palma on the 8th of March。 This he made his rendezvous： he knew that the French troops still remained embarked； and wishing to lead them into a belief that he was stationed upon the Spanish coast； he made his appearance off Barcelona with that intent。 About the end of the month he began to fear that the plan of the expedition was abandoned； and sailing once more towards his old station off Toulon on the 4th of April； he met the PHOEBE； with news that Villeneuve had put to sea on the last of March； with eleven ships of the line； seven frigates； and two brigs。 When last seen they were steering towards the coast of Africa。 Nelson first covered the channel between Sardinia and Barbary； so as to satisfy himself that Villeneuve was not taking the same route for Egypt which Gantheaume had taken before him； when he attempted to carry reinforcements thither。 Certain of this； he bore up on the 7th for Palermo； lest the French should pass to the north of Corsica； and he despatched cruisers in all directions。 On the 11th he felt assured that they were not gone down the Mediterranean； and sending off frigates to Gibraltar； to Lisbon； and to Admiral Cornwallis； who commanded the squadron off Brest； he endeavoured to get to the westward； beating against westerly winds。 After five days a neutral gave intelligence that the French had been seen off Cape de Gatte on the 7th。 It was soon after ascertained that they had passed the Straits of Gibraltar on the day following； and Nelson； knowing that they might already be half way to Ireland or to Jamaica； exclaimed that he was miserable。 One gleam of comfort only came across him in the reflection； that his vigilance had rendered it impossible for them to undertake any expedition in the Mediterranean。
Eight days after this certain intelligence had been obtained； he described his state of mind thus forcibly in writing to the governor of Malta： 〃My good fortune； my dear Ball； seems flown away。 I cannot get a fair wind； or even a side…wind。 Dead foul！Dead foul！ But my mind is fully made up what to do when I leave the supposing there is no certain account of the enemy's destination。 I believe this ill…luck will go near to kill me； but as these are times for exertion； I must not be cast down； whatever I may feel。〃 In spite of every exertion which could be made by all the zeal and all the skill of British seamen