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of criminal per…versities； and when not considered narrowly；
but in the light of induction and evolution〃
〃At this late stage；〃 said Michael Moon very quietly； 〃I may perhaps
relieve myself of a simple emotion that has been pressing me
throughout the proceedings； by saying that induction and evolution
may go and boil themselves。 The Missing Link and all that is
well enough for kids； but I'm talking about things we know here。
All we know of the Missing Link is that he is missingand he won't
be missed either。 I know all about his human head and his horrid tail；
they belong to a very old game called ‘Heads I win； tails you lose。'
If you do find a fellow's bones； it proves he lived a long while ago；
if you don't find his bones； it proves how long ago he lived。
That is the game you've been playing with this Smith affair。
Because Smith's head is small for his shoulders you call
him microcephalous； if it had been large； you'd have called it
water…on…the…brain。 As long as poor old Smith's seraglio seemed
pretty various； variety was the sign of madness： now； because it's
turning out to be a bit monochromenow monotony is the sign of madness。
I suffer from all the disadvantages of being a grown…up person；
and I'm jolly well going to get some of the advantages too；
and with all politeness I propose not to be bullied with long words
instead of short reasons； or consider your business a triumphant
progress merely because you're always finding out that you were wrong。
Having relieved myself of these feelings； I have merely to add
that I regard Dr。 Pym as an ornament to the world far more beautiful
than the Parthenon； or the monument on Bunker's Hill； and that I
propose to resume and conclude my remarks on the many marriages
of Mr。 Innocent Smith。
〃Besides this red hair； thee is another unifying thread that
runs through these scattered incidents。 There is something
very peculiar and suggestive about the names of these women。
Mr。 Trip； you will remember； said he thought the typewriter's
name was Blake； but could not remember exactly。
I suggest that it might have been Black； and in that case we
have a curious series： Miss Green in Lady Bullingdon's village；
Miss Brown at the Hendon School； Miss Black at the publishers。
A chord of colours； as it were； which ends up with Miss Gray
at Beacon House； West Hampstead。〃
Amid a dead silence Moon continued his exposition。
〃What is the meaning of this queer coincidence about colours？
Personally I cannot doubt for a moment that these names are purely
arbitrary names； assumed as part of some general scheme or joke。
I think it very probably that they were taken from a series of costumes
that Polly Green only meant Polly （or Mary） when in green；
and that Mary Gray only means Mary （or Polly） when in gray。
This would explain〃
Cyrus Pym was standing up rigid and almost pallid。
〃Do you actually mean to suggest〃 he cried。
〃Yes；〃 said Michael； 〃I do mean to suggest that。 Innocent Smith has had
many wooings； and many weddings for all I know； but he has had only one wife。
She was sitting on that chair an hour ago； and is now talking to Miss Duke
in the garden。
〃Yes； Innocent Smith has behaved here； as he has on hundreds of
other occasions； upon a plain and perfectly blameless principle。
It is odd and extravagant in the modern world； but not more than any other
principle plainly applied in the modern world would be。 His principle
can be quite simply stated： he refuses to die while he is still alive。
He seeks to remind himself； by every electric shock to the intellect；
that he is still a man alive； walking on two legs about the world。
For this reason he fires bullets at his best friends； for this reason
he arranges ladders and collapsible chimneys to steal his own property；
for this reason he goes plodding around a whole planet to get back to his
own home； and for this reason he has been in the habit of taking the woman
whom he loved with a permanent loyalty； and leaving her about （so to speak）
at schools； boarding…houses； and places of business； so that he might
recover her again and again with a raid and a romantic elopement。
He seriously sought by a perpetual recapture of his bride to keep alive
the sense of her perpetual value； and the perils that should be run
for her sake。
〃So far his motives are clear enough； but perhaps his convictions are
not quite so clear。 I think Innocent Smith has an idea at the bottom
of all this。 I am by no means sure that I believe it myself； but I am
quite sure that it is worth a man's uttering and defending。
〃The idea that Smith is attacking is this。 Living in an entangled
civilization； he have come to think certain things wrong which are
not wrong at all。 We have come to think outbreak and exuberance；
banging and barging； rotting and wrecking； wrong。 In themselves they
are not merely pardonable； they are unimpeachable。 There is nothing
wicked about firing a pistol off even at a friend； so long as you do not
mean to hit him and know you won't。 It is no more wrong than throwing
a pebble at the sealess； for you do occasionally hit the sea。
There is nothing wrong in bashing down a chimney…pot and breaking
through a roof； so long as you are not injuring the life or property
of other men。 It is no more wrong to choose to enter a house from
the top than to choose to open a packing…case from the bottom。
There is nothing wicked about walking round the world and coming back
to your own house； it is no more wicked than walking round the garden
and coming back to your own house。 And there is nothing wicked
about picking up your wife here； there； and everywhere； if； forsaking
all others； you keep only to her so long as you both shall live。
It is as innocent as playing a game of hide…and…seek in the garden。
You associate such acts with blackguardism by a mere snobbish association；
as you think there is something vaguely vile about going （or being
seen going） into a pawnbroker's or a public…house。 You think there
is something squalid and commonplace about such a connection。
You are mistaken。
〃This man's spiritual power has been precisely this；
that he has distinguished between custom and creed。
He has broken the conventions； but he has kept the commandments。
It is as if a man were found gambling wildly in a gambling hell；
and you found that he only played for trouser buttons。
It is as if you found a man making a clandestine appointment
with a lady at a Covent Garden ball； and then you found it
was his grandmother。 Everything is ugly and discreditable；
except the facts； everything is wrong about him； except that
he has done no wrong。
〃It will then be asked； ‘Why does Innocent Smith continued far into his
middle age a farcical existence； that exposes him to so many false charges？'
To this I merely answer that he does it because he really is happy；
because he really is hilarious； because he really is a man and alive。
He is so young that climbing garden trees and playing silly
practical jokes are still to him what they once were to us all。
And if you ask me yet again why he alone among men should be fed
with such inexhaustible follies； I have a very simple an