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in a far superior position to her own。 Lady Bullingdon could not；
of course； countenance such an arrangement for a moment；
and the two unhappy persons escaped for a clandestine marriage。
Lady Bullingdon cannot exactly recall the man's name；
but thinks it was Smith。 He was always called in the village
the Innocent。 Later； Lady Bullingdon believes he murdered
Green in a mental outbreak。〃
〃The next communication；〃 proceeded Pym； 〃is more conspicuous for brevity；
but I am of the opinion that it will adequately convey the upshot。
It is dated from the offices of Messrs。 Hanbury and Bootle； publishers；
and is as follows：
〃Sir；Yrs。 rcd。 and conts。 noted。 Rumour re typewriter possibly refers
to a Miss Blake or similar name； left here nine years ago to marry an
organ…grinder。 Case was undoubtedly curious； and attracted police attention。
Girl worked excellently till about Oct。 1907； when apparently went mad。
Record was written at the time； part of which I enclose。
Yrs。； etc。； W。 Trip。〃
〃The fuller statement runs as follows：
〃On October 12 a letter was sent from this office to Messrs。
Bernard and Juke； bookbinders。 Opened by Mr。 Juke； it was found
to contain the following： ‘Sir； our Mr。 Trip will call at 3；
as we wish to know whether it is really decided 00000073bb！！！！！xy。'
To this Mr。 Juke； a person of a playful mind； returned the answer：
‘Sir； I am in a position to give it as my most decided opinion
that it is not really decided that 00000073bb！！！！！xy。' Yrs。； etc。；
‘J。 Juke。'
〃On receiving this extraordinary reply； our Mr。 Trip asked for the original
letter sent from him； and found that the typewriter had indeed substituted
these demented hieroglyphics for the sentences really dictated to her。
Our Mr。 Trip interviewed the girl； fearing that she was in an
unbalanced state； and was not much reassured when she merely remarked
that she always went like that when she heard the barrel organ。
Becoming yet more hysterical and extravagant； she made a series of most
improbable statementsas； that she was engaged to the barrel…organ man；
that he was in the habit of serenading her on that instrument；
that she was in the habit of playing back to him upon the typewriter
（in the style of King Richard and Blondel）； and that the organ man's
musical ear was so exquisite and his adoration of herself so ardent
that he could detect the note of the different letters on the machine；
and was enraptured by them as by a melody。 To all these statements
of course our Mr。 Trip and the rest of us only paid that sort of assent
that is paid to persons who must as quickly as possible be put in the
charge of their relations。 But on our conducting the lady downstairs；
her story received the most startling and even exasperating confirmation；
for the organ…grinder； an enormous man with a small head and manifestly
a fellow…lunatic； had pushed his barrel organ in at the office doors
like a battering…ram； and was boisterously demanding his alleged fiancee。
When I myself came on the scene he was flinging his great； ape…like arms about
and reciting a poem to her。 But we were used to lunatics coming and reciting
poems in our office； and we were not quite prepared for what followed。
The actual verse he uttered began； I think；
‘O vivid； inviolate head；
Ringed '
but he never got any further。 Mr。 Trip made a sharp
movement towards him； and the next moment the giant picked
up the poor lady typewriter like a doll； sat her on top
of the organ； ran it with a crash out of the office doors；
and raced away down the street like a flying wheelbarrow。
I put the police upon the matter； but no trace of the amazing
pair could be found。 I was sorry myself； for the lady was
not only pleasant but unusually cultivated for her position。
As I am leaving the service of Messrs。 Hanbury and Bootle； I put
these things in a record and leave it with them。
〃（Signed） Aubrey Clarke；
Publishers' reader。〃
〃And the last document；〃 said Dr。 Pym complacently； 〃is from
one of those high…souled women who have in this age introduced
your English girlhood to hockey； the higher mathematics；
and every form of ideality。
〃Dear Sir （she writes）；I have no objection to telling you
the facts about the absurd incident you mention； though I would
ask you to communicate them with some caution； for such things；
however entertaining in the abstract； are not always auxiliary
to the success of a girls' school。 The truth is this：
I wanted some one to deliver a lecture on a philological
or historical questiona lecture which； while containing
solid educational matter； should be a little more popular and
entertaining than usual； as it was the last lecture of the term。
I remembered that a Mr。 Smith of Cambridge had written somewhere
or other an amusing essay about his own somewhat ubiquitous name
an essay which showed considerable knowledge of genealogy
and topography。 I wrote to him； asking if he would come and
give us a bright address upon English surnames； and he did。
It was very bright； almost too bright。 To put the matter otherwise；
by the time that he was halfway through it became apparent
to the other mistresses and myself that the man was totally
and entirely off his head。 He began rationally enough by dealing
with the two departments of place names and trade names； and he said
（quite rightly； I dare say） that the loss of all significance
in names was an instance of the deadening of civilization。
But then he went on calmly to maintain that every man who had
a place name ought to go to live in that place； and that every
man who had a trade name ought instantly to adopt that trade；
that people named after colours should always dress in those colours；
and that people named after trees or plants （such as Beech or Rose）
ought to surround and decorate themselves with these vegetables。
In a slight discussion that arose afterwards among the elder girls
the difficulties of the proposal were clearly； and even eagerly；
pointed out。 It was urged； for instance； by Miss Younghusband
that it was substantially impossible for her to play the part
assigned to her； Miss Mann was in a similar dilemma； from which
no modern views on the sexes could apparently extricate her；
and some young ladies； whose surnames happened to be Low； Coward；
and Craven； were quite enthusiastic against the idea。
But all this happened afterwards。 What happened at the crucial
moment was that the lecturer produced several horseshoes and a
large iron hammer from his bag； announced his immediate intention
of setting up a smithy in the neighbourhood； and called on every
one to rise in the same cause as for a heroic revolution。
The other mistresses and I attempted to stop the wretched man；
but I must confess that by an accident this very intercession
produced the worst explosion of his insanity。 He was waving
the hammer； and wildly demanding the names of everybody；
and it so happened that Miss Brown； one of the younger teachers；
was wearing a brown dressa reddish…brown dress tha