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CYRANO： Why then that air Disparaging？perchance you
think it large？
THE BORE （stammering）： No； small； quite smallminute！
CYRANO： Minute！ What now？ Accuse me of a thing
ridiculous！ Smallmy nose？
THE BORE： Heaven help me！
CYRANO： 'Tis enormous！ Old Flathead； empty…headed meddler；
know That I am proud possessing such appendice。 'Tis well known；
a big nose is indicative Of a soul affable； and kind； and courteous；
Liberal； brave； just like myself； and such As you can never dare to
dream yourself； Rascal contemptible！ For that witless face That
my hand soon will come to cuffis all As empty。 。 。
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CYRANO DE BERGERAC
（He cuffs him。）
THE BORE： Aie！
CYRANO： of pride； of aspiration； Of feeling； poetryof
godlike spark Of all that appertains to my big nose； （He turns him by
the shoulders； suiting the action to the word）： As。 。 。what my boot will
shortly come and kick！
THE BORE （running away）： Help！ Call the Guard！
CYRANO： Take notice； boobies all； Who find my visage's
center ornament A thing to jest atthat it is my wont An if the
jester's nobleere we part To let him taste my steel； and not my boot！
DE GUICHE （who； with the marquises； has come down from the
stage）： But he becomes a nuisance！
THE VISCOUNT DE VALVERT （shrugging his shoulders）：
Swaggerer！
DE GUICHE： Will no one put him down？。 。 。
THE VISCOUNT： No one？ But wait！ I'll treat him to。 。 。one
of my quips！。 。 。See here！。 。 。 （He goes up to Cyrano； who is watching him；
and with a conceited air）： Sir； your nose is。 。 。hmm。 。 。it is。 。 。very big！
CYRANO （gravely）： Very！
THE VISCOUNT （laughing）： Ha！
CYRANO （imperturbably）： Is that all？。 。 。
THE VISCOUNT： What do you mean？
CYRANO： Ah no！ young blade！ That was a trifle short！ You
might have said at least a hundred things By varying the tone。 。 。like
this； suppose；。 。 。 Aggressive： 'Sir； if I had such a nose I'd amputate
it！' Friendly： 'When you sup It must annoy you； dipping in your cup；
You need a drinking…bowl of special shape！' Descriptive： ''Tis a
rock！。 。 。a peak！。 。 。a cape！ A cape； forsooth！ 'Tis a peninsular！'
Curious： 'How serves that oblong capsular？ For scissor…sheath？ Or
pot to hold your ink？' Gracious： 'You love the little birds； I think？ I
see you've managed with a fond research To find their tiny claws a
roomy perch！' Truculent： 'When you smoke your pipe。 。 。suppose
That the tobacco…smoke spouts from your nose Do not the neighbors；
as the fumes rise higher； Cry terror…struck： 〃The chimney is afire〃？'
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CYRANO DE BERGERAC
Considerate： 'Take care；。 。 。your head bowed low By such a
weight。 。 。lest head o'er heels you go！' Tender： 'Pray get a small
umbrella made； Lest its bright color in the sun should fade！'
Pedantic： 'That beast Aristophanes Names Hippocamelelephantoles
Must have possessed just such a solid lump Of flesh and bone； beneath
his forehead's bump！' Cavalier： 'The last fashion； friend； that hook？
To hang your hat on？ 'Tis a useful crook！' Emphatic： 'No wind； O
majestic nose； Can give THEE cold！save when the mistral blows！'
Dramatic： 'When it bleeds； what a Red Sea！' Admiring： 'Sign for a
perfumery！' Lyric： 'Is this a conch？。 。 。a Triton you？' Simple：
'When is the monument on view？' Rustic： 'That thing a nose？
Marry…come…up！ 'Tis a dwarf pumpkin； or a prize turnip！' Military：
'Point against cavalry！' Practical： 'Put it in a lottery！ Assuredly
'twould be the biggest prize！' Or。 。 。parodying Pyramus' sighs。 。 。
'Behold the nose that mars the harmony Of its master's phiz！ blushing
its treachery！' Such； my dear sir； is what you might have said； Had
you of wit or letters the least jot： But； O most lamentable man！of wit
You never had an atom； and of letters You have three letters only！they
spell Ass！ Andhad you had the necessary wit； To serve me all the
pleasantries I quote Before this noble audience。 。 。e'en so； You
would not have been let to utter one Nay； not the half or quarter of
such jest！ I take them from myself all in good part； But not from any
other man that breathes！
DE GUICHE （trying to draw away the dismayed viscount）： Come
away； Viscount！
THE VISCOUNT （choking with rage）： Hear his arrogance！ A
country lout who。 。 。who。 。 。has got no gloves！ Who goes out without
sleeve…knots； ribbons； lace！
CYRANO： True； all my elegances are within。 I do not prank
myself out； puppy…like； My toilet is more thorough； if less gay； I
would not sally fortha half…washed…out Affront upon my cheeka
conscience Yellow…eyed； bilious； from its sodden sleep； A ruffled
honor；。 。 。scruples grimed and dull！ I show no bravery of shining gems。
Truth； Independence； are my fluttering plumes。 'Tis not my form I lace
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CYRANO DE BERGERAC
to make me slim； But brace my soul with efforts as with stays；
Covered with exploits； not with ribbon…knots； My spirit bristling high
like your mustaches； I； traversing the crowds and chattering groups
Make Truth ring bravely out like clash of spurs！
THE VISCOUNT： But； Sir。 。 。
CYRANO： I wear no gloves？ And what of that？ I had
one；。 。 。remnant of an old worn pair； And； knowing not what else t