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the aspern papers-第4章

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heart beating as I had known it to do in the dentist's parlor。

It was gloomy and stately; but it owed its character almost

entirely to its noble shape and to the fine architectural doors

as high as the doors of houseswhich; leading into the

various rooms; repeated themselves on either side at intervals。

They were surmounted with old faded painted escutcheons;

and here and there; in the spaces between them; brown pictures;

which I perceived to be bad; in battered frames; were suspended。

With the exception of several straw…bottomed chairs with

their backs to the wall; the grand obscure vista contained

nothing else to minister to effect。  It was evidently

never used save as a passage; and little even as that。

I may add that by the time the door opened again through

which the maidservant had escaped; my eyes had grown used

to the want of light。



I had not meant by my private ejaculation that I must myself cultivate

the soil of the tangled enclosure which lay beneath the windows;

but the lady who came toward me from the distance over the hard;

shining floor might have supposed as much from the way in which; as I

went rapidly to meet her; I exclaimed; taking care to speak Italian:

〃The garden; the gardendo me the pleasure to tell me if it's yours!〃



She stopped short; looking at me with wonder; and then; 〃Nothing here

is mine;〃 she answered in English; coldly and sadly。



〃Oh; you are English; how delightful!〃  I remarked; ingenuously。

〃But surely the garden belongs to the house?〃



〃Yes; but the house doesn't belong to me。〃  She was a long;

lean; pale person; habited apparently in a dull…colored

dressing gown; and she spoke with a kind of mild literalness。

She did not ask me to sit down; any more than years before

(if she were the niece) she had asked Mrs。 Prest; and we stood

face to face in the empty pompous hall。



〃Well then; would you kindly tell me to whom I must address myself?

I'm afraid you'll think me odiously intrusive; but you know I MUST

have a gardenupon my honor I must!〃



Her face was not young; but it was simple; it was not fresh; but it was mild。

She had large eyes which were not bright; and a great deal of hair which

was not 〃dressed;〃 and long fine hands which werepossiblynot clean。

She clasped these members almost convulsively as; with a confused;

alarmed look; she broke out; 〃Oh; don't take it away from us;

we like it ourselves!〃



〃You have the use of it then?〃



〃Oh; yes。  If it wasn't for that!〃  And she gave a shy; melancholy smile。



〃Isn't it a luxury; precisely?  That's why; intending to be

in Venice some weeks; possibly all summer; and having some

literary work; some reading and writing to do; so that I must

be quiet; and yet if possible a great deal in the open air

that's why I have felt that a garden is really indispensable。

I appeal to your own experience;〃 I went on; smiling。

〃Now can't I look at yours?〃



〃I don't know; I don't understand;〃 the poor woman murmured;

planted there and letting her embarrassed eyes wander all

over my strangeness。



〃I mean only from one of those windowssuch grand ones

as you have hereif you will let me open the shutters。〃

And I walked toward the back of the house。  When I had advanced

halfway I stopped and waited; as if I took it for granted she would

accompany me。  I had been of necessity very abrupt; but I strove

at the same time to give her the impression of extreme courtesy。

〃I have been looking at furnished rooms all over the place;

and it seems impossible to find any with a garden attached。

Naturally in a place like Venice gardens are rare。  It's absurd

if you like; for a man; but I can't live without flowers。〃



〃There are none to speak of down there。〃  She came nearer to me; as if;

though she mistrusted me; I had drawn her by an invisible thread。

I went on again; and she continued as she followed me:  〃We have a few;

but they are very common。  It costs too much to cultivate them;

one has to have a man。〃



〃Why shouldn't I be the man?〃  I asked。  〃I'll work without wages;

or rather I'll put in a gardener。  You shall have the sweetest

flowers in Venice。〃



She protested at this; with a queer little sigh which might

also have been a gush of rapture at the picture I presented。

Then she observed; 〃We don't know youwe don't know you。〃



〃You know me as much as I know you:  that is much more; because you

know my name。  And if you are English I am almost a countryman。〃



〃We are not English;〃 said my companion; watching me helplessly while I threw

open the shutters of one of the divisions of the wide high window。



〃You speak the language so beautifully:  might I ask what you are?〃

Seen from above the garden was certainly shabby; but I perceived

at a glance that it had great capabilities。  She made no rejoinder;

she was so lost in staring at me; and I exclaimed; 〃You don't mean

to say you are also by chance American?〃



〃I don't know; we used to be。〃



〃Used to be?  Surely you haven't changed?〃



〃It's so many years agowe are nothing。〃



〃So many years that you have been living here?  Well; I don't wonder

at that; it's a grand old house。  I suppose you all use the garden;〃

I went on; 〃but I assure you I shouldn't be in your way。

I would be very quiet and stay in one corner。〃



〃We all use it?〃 she repeated after me; vaguely; not coming close

to the window but looking at my shoes。  She appeared to think me

capable of throwing her out。



〃I mean all your family; as many as you are。〃



〃There is only one other; she is very oldshe never goes down。〃



〃Only one other; in all this great house!〃  I feigned to be not only amazed

but almost scandalized。  〃Dear lady; you must have space then to spare!〃



〃To spare?〃 she repeated; in the same dazed way。



〃Why; you surely don't live (two quiet womenI see YOU

are quiet; at any rate) in fifty rooms!〃  Then with a burst

of hope and cheer I demanded:  〃Couldn't you let me two or three?

That would set me up!〃



I had not struck the note that translated my purpose; and I need

not reproduce the whole of the tune I played。  I ended by making my

interlocutress believe that I was an honorable person; though of course

I did not even attempt to persuade her that I was not an eccentric one。

I repeated that I had studies to pursue; that I wanted quiet;

that I delighted in a garden and had vainly sought one up and

down the city; that I would undertake that before another month

was over the dear old house should be smothered in flowers。

I think it was the flowers that won my suit; for I afterward found

that Miss Tita (for such the name of this high tremulous spinster proved

somewhat incongruously to be) had an insatiable appetite for them。

When I speak of my suit as won I mean that before I left her she

had promised that she would refer the question to her aunt。

I inquired who her aunt might be and she answered; 〃Why; Miss Bordereau!〃

with an air of su
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