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Judge Methuen has been a victim (a pleasant victim) to the catalogue habit for the last forty years; and he has declared that if all the catalogues sent to and read by him in that space of time were gathered together in a heap they would make a pile bigger than Pike's Peak; and a thousandfold more interesting。 I myself have been a famous reader of catalogues; and I can testify that the habit has possessed me of remarkable delusions; the most conspicuous of which is that which produces within me the conviction that a book is as good as mine as soon as I have met with its title in a catalogue; and set an X over against it in pencil。
I recall that on one occasion I was discussing with Judge Methuen and Dr。 O'Rell the attempted escapes of Charles I。 from Carisbrooke Castle; a point of difference having arisen; I said: ‘‘Gentlemen; I will refer to Hillier's ‘Narrative;' and I doubt not that my argument will be sustained by that authority。''
It was vastly easier; however; to cite Hillier than it was to find him。 For three days I searched in my library; and tumbled my books about in that confusion which results from undue eagerness; 't was all in vain; neither hide nor hair of the desired volume could I discover。 It finally occurred to me that I must have lent the book to somebody; and then again I felt sure that it had been stolen。
No tidings of the missing volume came to me; and I had almost forgotten the incident when one evening (it was fully two years after my discussion with my cronies) I came upon; in one of the drawers of my oak chest; a Sotheran catalogue of May; 1871。 By the merest chance I opened it; and as luck would have it; I opened it at the very page upon which appeared this item:
‘‘Hillier (G。) ‘Narrative of the Attempted Escapes of Charles the First from Carisbrooke Castle'; cr。 8vo; 1852; cloth; 3/6。''
Against this item appeared a cross in my chirography; and I saw at a glance that this was my long…lost Hillier! I had meant to buy it; and had marked it for purchase; but with the determination and that pencilled cross the transaction had ended。 Yet; having resolved to buy it had served me almost as effectively as though I had actually bought it; I thoughtaye; I could have sworn I HAD bought it; simply because I MEANT to buy it。
‘‘The experience is not unique;'' said Judge Methuen; when I narrated it to him at our next meeting。 ‘‘Speaking for myself; I can say that it is a confirmed habit with me to mark certain items in catalogues which I read; and then to go my way in the pleasing conviction that they are actually mine。''
‘‘I meet with cases of this character continually;'' said Dr。 O'Rell。 ‘‘The hallucination is one that is recognized as a specific one by pathologists; its cure is quickest effected by means of hypnotism。 Within the last year a lady of beauty and refinement came to me in serious distress。 She confided to me amid a copious effusion of tears that her husband was upon the verge of insanity。 Her testimony was to the effect that the unfortunate man believed himself to be possessed of a large library; the fact being that the number of his books was limited to three hundred or thereabouts。
‘‘Upon inquiry I learned that N。 M。 (for so I will call the victim of this delusion) made a practice of reading and of marking booksellers' catalogues; further investigation developed that N。 M。's great…uncle on his mother's side had invented a flying…machine that would not fly; and that a half…brother of his was the author of a pamphlet entitled ‘16 to 1; or the Poor Man's Vade…Mecum。'
‘‘ ‘Madam;' said I; ‘it is clear to me that your husband is afflicted with catalogitis。'
‘‘At this the poor woman went into hysterics; bewailing that she should have lived to see the object of her affection the victim of a malady so grievous as to require a Greek name。 When she became calmer I explained to her that the malady was by no means fatal; and that it yielded readily to treatment。''
‘‘What; in plain terms;'' asked Judge Methuen; ‘‘is catalogitis?''
‘‘I will explain briefly;'' answered the doctor。 ‘‘You must know first that every perfect human being is provided with two sets of bowels; he has physical bowels and intellectual bowels; the brain being the latter。 Hippocrates (since whose time the science of medicine has not advanced even the two stadia; five parasangs of Xenophon) Hippocrates; I say; discovered that the brain is subject to those very same diseases to which the other and inferior bowels are liable。
‘‘Galen confirmed this discovery and he records a case (Lib。 xi。; p。 318) wherein there were exhibited in the intellectual bowels symptoms similar to those we find in appendicitis。 The brain is wrought into certain convolutions; just as the alimentary canal is; the fourth layer; so called; contains elongated groups of small cells or nuclei; radiating at right angles to its plane; which groups present a distinctly fanlike structure。 Catalogitis is a stoppage of this fourth layer; whereby the functions of the fanlike structure are suffered no longer to cool the brain; and whereby also continuity of thought is interrupted; just as continuity of digestion is prevented by stoppage of the vermiform appendix。
‘‘The learned Professor Biersteintrinken;'' continued Dr。 O'Rell; ‘‘has advanced in his scholarly work on ‘Raderinderkopf' the interesting theory that catalogitis is produced by the presence in the brain of a germ which has its origin in the cheap paper used by booksellers for catalogue purposes; and this theory seems to have the approval of M。 Marie…Tonsard; the most famous of authorities on inebriety; in his celebrated classic entitled ‘Un Trait sur Jacques…Jacques。' ''
‘‘Did you effect a cure in the case of N。 M。?'' I asked。
‘‘With the greatest of ease;'' answered the doctor。 ‘‘By means of hypnotism I purged his intellectuals of their hallucination; relieving them of their perception of objects which have no reality and ridding them of sensations which have no corresponding external cause。 The patient made a rapid recovery; and; although three months have elapsed since his discharge; he has had no return of the disease。''
As a class booksellers do not encourage the reading of other booksellers' catalogues; this is; presumably; because they do not care to encourage buyers to buy of other sellers。 My bookseller; who in all virtues of head and heart excels all other booksellers I ever met with; makes a scrupulous practice of destroying the catalogues that come to his shop; lest some stray copy may fall into the hands of a mousing book…lover and divert his attention to other hunting…grounds。 It is indeed remarkable to what excess the catalogue habit will carry its victim; the author of ‘‘Will Shakespeare; a Comedy;'' has frequently confessed to me that it mattered not to him whether a catalogue was twenty years oldso long as it was a catalogue of books he found the keenest delight in its perusal; I have often heard Mr。 Hamlin; the theatre manager; say that he preferred old catalogues to new; for the reason that the bargains to be met with in old catalogues expired long ago under the statute of limitations。
Judge Methuen; who is a married man and has t