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the lifted veil-第3章

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floating cloud; with the notes of birds and the distant glitter of
the glacier。  He knew quite well that my mind was half absent; yet
he liked to talk to me in this way; for don't we talk of our hopes
and our projects even to dogs and birds; when they love us?  I have
mentioned this one friendship because of its connexion with a
strange and terrible scene which I shall have to narrate in my
subsequent life。

This happier life at Geneva was put an end to by a severe illness;
which is partly a blank to me; partly a time of dimly…remembered
suffering; with the presence of my father by my bed from time to
time。  Then came the languid monotony of convalescence; the days
gradually breaking into variety and distinctness as my strength
enabled me to take longer and longer drives。  On one of these more
vividly remembered days; my father said to me; as he sat beside my
sofa …

〃When you are quite well enough to travel; Latimer; I shall take
you home with me。  The journey will amuse you and do you good; for
I shall go through the Tyrol and Austria; and you will see many new
places。  Our neighbours; the Filmores; are come; Alfred will join
us at Basle; and we shall all go together to Vienna; and back by
Prague〃 。 。 。

My father was called away before he had finished his sentence; and
he left my mind resting on the word PRAGUE; with a strange sense
that a new and wondrous scene was breaking upon me:  a city under
the broad sunshine; that seemed to me as if it were the summer
sunshine of a long…past century arrested in its courseunrefreshed
for ages by dews of night; or the rushing rain…cloud; scorching the
dusty; weary; time…eaten grandeur of a people doomed to live on in
the stale repetition of memories; like deposed and superannuated
kings in their regal gold…inwoven tatters。  The city looked so
thirsty that the broad river seemed to me a sheet of metal; and the
blackened statues; as I passed under their blank gaze; along the
unending bridge; with their ancient garments and their saintly
crowns; seemed to me the real inhabitants and owners of this place;
while the busy; trivial men and women; hurrying to and fro; were a
swarm of ephemeral visitants infesting it for a day。  It is such
grim; stony beings as these; I thought; who are the fathers of
ancient faded children; in those tanned time…fretted dwellings that
crowd the steep before me; who pay their court in the worn and
crumbling pomp of the palace which stretches its monotonous length
on the height; who worship wearily in the stifling air of the
churches; urged by no fear or hope; but compelled by their doom to
be ever old and undying; to live on in the rigidity of habit; as
they live on in perpetual midday; without the repose of night or
the new birth of morning。

A stunning clang of metal suddenly thrilled through me; and I
became conscious of the objects in my room again:  one of the fire…
irons had fallen as Pierre opened the door to bring me my draught。
My heart was palpitating violently; and I begged Pierre to leave my
draught beside me; I would take it presently。

As soon as I was alone again; I began to ask myself whether I had
been sleeping。  Was this a dreamthis wonderfully distinct vision…
…minute in its distinctness down to a patch of rainbow light on the
pavement; transmitted through a coloured lamp in the shape of a
starof a strange city; quite unfamiliar to my imagination?  I had
seen no picture of Prague:  it lay in my mind as a mere name; with
vaguely…remembered historical associationsill…defined memories of
imperial grandeur and religious wars。

Nothing of this sort had ever occurred in my dreaming experience
before; for I had often been humiliated because my dreams were only
saved from being utterly disjointed and commonplace by the frequent
terrors of nightmare。  But I could not believe that I had been
asleep; for I remembered distinctly the gradual breaking…in of the
vision upon me; like the new images in a dissolving view; or the
growing distinctness of the landscape as the sun lifts up the veil
of the morning mist。  And while I was conscious of this incipient
vision; I was also conscious that Pierre came to tell my father Mr。
Filmore was waiting for him; and that my father hurried out of the
room。  No; it was not a dream; was itthe thought was full of
tremulous exultationwas it the poet's nature in me; hitherto only
a troubled yearning sensibility; now manifesting itself suddenly as
spontaneous creation?  Surely it was in this way that Homer saw the
plain of Troy; that Dante saw the abodes of the departed; that
Milton saw the earthward flight of the Tempter。  Was it that my
illness had wrought some happy change in my organizationgiven a
firmer tension to my nervescarried off some dull obstruction?  I
had often read of such effectsin works of fiction at least。  Nay;
in genuine biographies I had read of the subtilizing or exalting
influence of some diseases on the mental powers。  Did not Novalis
feel his inspiration intensified under the progress of consumption?

When my mind had dwelt for some time on this blissful idea; it
seemed to me that I might perhaps test it by an exertion of my
will。  The vision had begun when my father was speaking of our
going to Prague。  I did not for a moment believe it was really a
representation of that city; I believedI hoped it was a picture
that my newly liberated genius had painted in fiery haste; with the
colours snatched from lazy memory。  Suppose I were to fix my mind
on some other placeVenice; for example; which was far more
familiar to my imagination than Prague:  perhaps the same sort of
result would follow。  I concentrated my thoughts on Venice; I
stimulated my imagination with poetic memories; and strove to feel
myself present in Venice; as I had felt myself present in Prague。
But in vain。  I was only colouring the Canaletto engravings that
hung in my old bedroom at home; the picture was a shifting one; my
mind wandering uncertainly in search of more vivid images; I could
see no accident of form or shadow without conscious labour after
the necessary conditions。  It was all prosaic effort; not rapt
passivity; such as I had experienced half an hour before。  I was
discouraged; but I remembered that inspiration was fitful。

For several days I was in a state of excited expectation; watching
for a recurrence of my new gift。  I sent my thoughts ranging over
my world of knowledge; in the hope that they would find some object
which would send a reawakening vibration through my slumbering
genius。  But no; my world remained as dim as ever; and that flash
of strange light refused to come again; though I watched for it
with palpitating eagerness。

My father accompanied me every day in a drive; and a gradually
lengthening walk as my powers of walking increased; and one evening
he had agreed to come and fetch me at twelve the next day; that we
might go together to select a musical box; and other purchases
rigorously demanded of a rich Englishman visiting Geneva。  He was
one of the most punctual of men and bankers; and I was always
nervously anxious to be quite ready for him at the appointed time。
But; to my surprise; 
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