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brother； already a tall youth at Eton。 My brother was to be his
representative and successor； he must go to Eton and Oxford； for
the sake of making connexions； of course： my father was not a man
to underrate the bearing of Latin satirists or Greek dramatists on
the attainment of an aristocratic position。 But； intrinsically； he
had slight esteem for 〃those dead but sceptred spirits〃； having
qualified himself for forming an independent opinion by reading
Potter's AEschylus； and dipping into Francis's Horace。 To this
negative view he added a positive one； derived from a recent
connexion with mining speculations； namely； that a scientific
education was the really useful training for a younger son。
Moreover； it was clear that a shy； sensitive boy like me was not
fit to encounter the rough experience of a public school。 Mr。
Letherall had said so very decidedly。 Mr。 Letherall was a large
man in spectacles； who one day took my small head between his large
hands； and pressed it here and there in an exploratory； auspicious
mannerthen placed each of his great thumbs on my temples； and
pushed me a little way from him； and stared at me with glittering
spectacles。 The contemplation appeared to displease him； for he
frowned sternly； and said to my father； drawing his thumbs across
my eyebrows …
〃The deficiency is there； sirthere； and here；〃 he added； touching
the upper sides of my head； 〃here is the excess。 That must be
brought out； sir； and this must be laid to sleep。〃
I was in a state of tremor； partly at the vague idea that I was the
object of reprobation； partly in the agitation of my first hatred
hatred of this big； spectacled man； who pulled my head about as if
he wanted to buy and cheapen it。
I am not aware how much Mr。 Letherall had to do with the system
afterwards adopted towards me； but it was presently clear that
private tutors； natural history； science； and the modern languages；
were the appliances by which the defects of my organization were to
be remedied。 I was very stupid about machines； so I was to be
greatly occupied with them； I had no memory for classification； so
it was particularly necessary that I should study systematic
zoology and botany； I was hungry for human deeds and humane
motions； so I was to be plentifully crammed with the mechanical
powers； the elementary bodies； and the phenomena of electricity and
magnetism。 A better…constituted boy would certainly have profited
under my intelligent tutors； with their scientific apparatus； and
would； doubtless； have found the phenomena of electricity and
magnetism as fascinating as I was； every Thursday； assured they
were。 As it was； I could have paired off； for ignorance of
whatever was taught me； with the worst Latin scholar that was ever
turned out of a classical academy。 I read Plutarch； and
Shakespeare； and Don Quixote by the sly； and supplied myself in
that way with wandering thoughts； while my tutor was assuring me
that 〃an improved man； as distinguished from an ignorant one； was a
man who knew the reason why water ran downhill。〃 I had no desire
to be this improved man； I was glad of the running water； I could
watch it and listen to it gurgling among the pebbles； and bathing
the bright green water…plants； by the hour together。 I did not
want to know WHY it ran； I had perfect confidence that there were
good reasons for what was so very beautiful。
There is no need to dwell on this part of my life。 I have said
enough to indicate that my nature was of the sensitive； unpractical
order； and that it grew up in an uncongenial medium； which could
never foster it into happy； healthy development。 When I was
sixteen I was sent to Geneva to complete my course of education；
and the change was a very happy one to me； for the first sight of
the Alps； with the setting sun on them； as we descended the Jura；
seemed to me like an entrance into heaven； and the three years of
my life there were spent in a perpetual sense of exaltation； as if
from a draught of delicious wine； at the presence of Nature in all
her awful loveliness。 You will think； perhaps； that I must have
been a poet； from this early sensibility to Nature。 But my lot was
not so happy as that。 A poet pours forth his song and BELIEVES in
the listening ear and answering soul； to which his song will be
floated sooner or later。 But the poet's sensibility without his
voicethe poet's sensibility that finds no vent but in silent
tears on the sunny bank； when the noonday light sparkles on the
water； or in an inward shudder at the sound of harsh human tones；
the sight of a cold human eyethis dumb passion brings with it a
fatal solitude of soul in the society of one's fellow…men。 My
least solitary moments were those in which I pushed off in my boat；
at evening； towards the centre of the lake； it seemed to me that
the sky； and the glowing mountain…tops； and the wide blue water；
surrounded me with a cherishing love such as no human face had shed
on me since my mother's love had vanished out of my life。 I used
to do as Jean Jacques didlie down in my boat and let it glide
where it would； while I looked up at the departing glow leaving one
mountain…top after the other； as if the prophet's chariot of fire
were passing over them on its way to the home of light。 Then； when
the white summits were all sad and corpse…like； I had to push
homeward； for I was under careful surveillance； and was allowed no
late wanderings。 This disposition of mine was not favourable to
the formation of intimate friendships among the numerous youths of
my own age who are always to be found studying at Geneva。 Yet I
made ONE such friendship； and； singularly enough； it was with a
youth whose intellectual tendencies were the very reverse of my
own。 I shall call him Charles Meunier； his real surnamean
English one； for he was of English extractionhaving since become
celebrated。 He was an orphan； who lived on a miserable pittance
while he pursued the medical studies for which he had a special
genius。 Strange！ that with my vague mind； susceptible and
unobservant； hating inquiry and given up to contemplation； I should
have been drawn towards a youth whose strongest passion was
science。 But the bond was not an intellectual one； it came from a
source that can happily blend the stupid with the brilliant； the
dreamy with the practical： it came from community of feeling。
Charles was poor and ugly； derided by Genevese gamins； and not
acceptable in drawing…rooms。 I saw that he was isolated； as I was；
though from a different cause； and； stimulated by a sympathetic
resentment； I made timid advances towards him。 It is enough to say
that there sprang up as much comradeship between us as our
different habits would allow； and in Charles's rare holidays we
went up the Saleve together； or took the boat to Vevay； while I
listened dreamily to the monologues in which he unfolded his bold
conceptions of future experiment and discovery。 I mingled them
confusedly in my thought with glimpses of blue water and delicate
floating cloud； with the notes of birds and the distant glitter of
the glacier。 He knew quite well that my mind was half absent； yet