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my name is red-我的名字叫红-第72章

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with one of the thin; clean sticks reserved for this task。 I was ready to bee 
genuine red; but the issue of my consistency was of utmost importance: The 
liquid shouldn’t be permitted to just boil away。 He drew the tip of his stirring 
stick   across   the   nail   of   his   thumb   (any   other   finger   was   absolutely 
unacceptable)。  Oh;  how  exquisite  it  is  to  be  red!  I  gracefully  painted  that 
thumbnail  without  running  off  the  side  in  watery  haste。  In  short;  I  was  the 
right consistency; but I still contained sediment。 He took the pot off the stove 
and  strained  me  through  a  clean  piece  of  cheesecloth;  purifying  me  even 
further。 Next; he heated me up again; bringing me to a frothy boil twice more。 
After adding a pinch of crushed alum; he left me to cool。 
A few days passed and I sat there quietly in the pan。 In the anticipation of 
being  applied  to  pages;  of  being  spread  everywhere  and  onto  everything; 
205 
 
sitting  still  like  that  broke  my  heart  and  spirit。  It  was  during  this  period  of 
silence that I meditated upon what it meant to be red。 
Once; in a Persian city; as I was being applied by the brush of an apprentice 
to the embroidery on the saddle cloth of a horse that a blind miniaturist had 
drawn by heart; I overheard two blind masters having an argument: 
“Because  we’ve  spent  our  entire  lives  ardently  and  faithfully  working  as 
painters;  naturally;  we;  who  have  now  gone  blind;  know  red  and  remember 
what kind of color and what kind of feeling it is;” said the one who’d made 
the  horse  drawing  from  memory。  “But;  what  if  we’d  been  born  blind?  How 
would  we  have  been  truly  able  to  prehend  this  red  that  our  handsome 
apprentice is using?” 
“An excellent issue;” the other said。 “But do not forget that colors are not 
known; but felt。” 
“My dear master; explain red to somebody who has never known red。” 
“If  we  touched  it  with  the  tip  of  a  finger;  it  would  feel  like  something 
between  iron  and  copper。  If  we  took  it  into  our  palm;  it  would  burn。  If  we 
tasted it; it would be full…bodied; like salted meat。 If we took it between our 
lips; it would fill our mouths。 If we smelled it; it’d have the scent of a horse。 If 
it were a flower; it would smell like a daisy; not a red rose。” 
One hundred and ten years ago Veian artistry was not yet threat enough 
that our rulers would bother themselves about it; and the legendary masters 
believed in their own methods as fervently as they believed in Allah; therefore; 
they  regarded  the  Veian  method  of  using  a  variety  of  red  tones  for  every 
ordinary  sword  wound  and  even  the  most  mon  sackcloth  as  a  kind  of 
disrespect  and  vulgarity  hardly  worth  a  chuckle。  Only  a  weak  and  hesitant 
miniaturist would use a variety of red tones to depict the red of a caftan; they 
claimed—shadows were not an excuse。 Besides; we believe in only one red。 
“What  is  the  meaning  of  red?”  the  blind  miniaturist  who’d  drawn  the 
horse from memory asked again。 
“The meaning of color is that it is there before us and we see it;” said the 
other。 “Red cannot be explained to he who cannot see。” 
“To deny God’s existence; victims of Satan maintain that God is not visible 
to us;” said the blind miniaturist who’d rendered the horse。 
“Yet; He appears to those who can see;” said the other master。 “It is for this 
reason that the Koran states that the blind and the seeing are not equal。” 
206 
 
The  handsome  apprentice  ever  so  delicately  dabbed  me  onto  the  horse’s 
saddle cloth。 What a wonderful sensation to fix my fullness; power and vigor 
to  the  black  and  white  of  a  well…executed  illustration:  as  the  cat…hair  brush 
spreads me onto the waiting page; I bee delightfully ticklish。 Thereby; as I 
bring my color to the page; it’s as if I mand the world to “Be!” Yes; those 
who cannot see would deny it; but the truth is I can be found everywhere。 
 
 
   
207 
 
I; SHEKURE 
 
Before the children awoke; I wrote Black a brief note telling him to hurry to 
the house of the Hanged Jew and pressed it into Hayriye’s hand so that she 
might rush to Esther。 As Hayriye took the letter; she looked into my eyes with 
more fearlessness than usual despite worrying what was to bee of us; and 
I;  who  no  longer  had  a  father  to  fear;  returned  her  glare  with  newfound 
temerity。 This exchange would determine the tone of our relationship in the 
future。 Over the last two years; I suspected Hayriye might even have a child by 
my father; and forgetting her status as slave; maneuver to bee lady of the 
house。  I  visited  my  unfortunate  father;  respectfully  kissing  his  now  stiffened 
hand;  which;  oddly;  hadn’t  lost  its  softness。  I  hid  my  father’s  shoes;  quilted 
turban and purple cloak; then explained to the children once they awoke that 
their grandfather had gotten better and had left for the Mustafa Pasha district 
early in the morning。 
Hayriye returned from her morning errand。 As she was laying out the low 
table for breakfast; and I was placing a portion of orange jam in the middle of 
it;  I  imagined  how  Esther  was  now  calling  at  Black’s  door。  The  snow  had 
stopped and the sun had begun to shine。 
In the garden of the Hanged Jew; I encountered a familiar scene。 The icicles 
hanging  from  the  eaves  and  window  casings  were  quickly  shrinking;  and  the 
garden that smelled of mold and rotting leaves was eagerly absorbing the sun。 I 
found Black waiting in the spot where I’d first seen him last night—it seemed 
so long ago; as if weeks had passed。 I raised my veil and said: 
“You  can  be  glad;  if  you  feel  the  urge。  My  father’s  objections  and  doubts 
will not e between us anymore。 While you were craftily trying to lay your 
hands on me here last night; a devil…of…a…man broke into our empty house and 
murdered my father。” 
Rather  than  wondering  about  Black’s  reaction;  you’re  probably  puzzling 
over why I spoke so coldly and somewhat insincerely。 I don’t quite know the 
answer myself。 Maybe I thought I’d cry otherwise; provoking Black to embrace 
me; and I’d bee intimate with him sooner than I wanted。 
“He destroyed our home with a thoroughness that clearly reveals anger and 
hatred。  I  don’t  think  his  work  is  done  either;  I  don’t  expect  this  devil  will 
calmly retire to some corner now。 He stole the final picture。 I’m calling on you 
to  protect  me—protect  us—and  keep  my  father’s  book  from  him。  Now  tell 
208 
 
me; under what arrangement and conditions will you see to our safety? This is 
what we have to resolve。” 
He  made  an  overture  to  speak;  but  I  easily  silenced  him  with  a  look—as 
though this were something I’d done countless times before。 
“In the eyes of the judge; it is my husband and his family who succeed my 
father as my guardians。 This was the case even before his death; for according 
to the judge my husband is still alive。 It was only because Hasan tried to 
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