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countries and thrones。 The heart there softens and melts away like
aromatics slowly dissolving in moderate heat； evaporating in
delightful perfumes。〃 Gustavus III； beaten by the Russians； declares
that he will pass his last days in Paris in a house on the boulevards；
and this is not merely complimentary； for he sends for plans and an
estimate。＇43＇ A supper or an evening entertainment brings people two
hundred leagues away。 Some friends of the Prince de Ligne 〃leave
Brussels after breakfast； reach the opera in Paris just in time to see
the curtain rise； and； after the spectacle is over； return immediately
to Brussels； traveling all night。〃 … Of this delight； so eagerly
sought； we have only imperfect copies； and we are obliged to revive it
intellectually。 It consists； in the first place； in the pleasure of
living with perfectly polite people； there is no enjoyment more
subtle； more lasting； more inexhaustible。 Man's self…esteem or vanity
being infinite； intelligent people are always able to produce some
refinement of attention to gratify it。 Worldly sensibility being
infinite there is no imperceptible shade of it permitting
indifference。 After all； Man is still the greatest source of happiness
or of misery to Man； and in those days this everflowing fountain
brought to him sweetness instead of bitterness。 Not only was it
essential not to offend； but it was essential to please； one was
expected to lose sight of oneself in others； to be always cordial and
good…humored； to keep one's own vexations and grievances in one's own
breast； to spare others melancholy ideas and to supply them with
cheerful ideas。
〃Was any one old in those days？ It is the Revolution which brought
old age into the world； Your grandfather； my child；＇44＇ was handsome；
elegant； neat； gracious； perfumed； playful； amiable； affectionate； and
good…tempered to the day of his death。 People then knew how to live
and how to die； there was no such thing as troublesome infirmities。 If
any one had the gout； 'he walked along all the same and made no faces；
people well brought up concealed their sufferings。 There was none of
that absorption in business which spoils a man inwardly and dulls his
brain。 People knew how to ruin themselves without letting it appear；
like good gamblers who lose their money without showing uneasiness or
spite。 A man would be carried half dead to a hunt。 It was thought
better to die at a ball or at the play than in one's bed； between four
wax candles and horrid men in black。 People were philosophers； they
did not assume to be austere； but often were so without making a
display of it。 If one was discreet； it was through inclination and
without pedantry or prudishness。 People enjoyed this life； and when
the hour of departure came they did not try to disgust others with
living。 The last request of my old husband was that I would survive
him as long as possible and live as happily as I could。〃
When； especially； women are concerned it is not sufficient to be
polite； it is important to be gallant。 Each lady invited by the Prince
de Conti to Ile…Adam 〃finds a carriage and horses at her disposal； she
is free to give dinners every day in her own rooms to her own
friends。〃＇45＇ Mme。 de Civrac having to go to the springs； her friends
undertake to divert her on the journey； they keep ahead of her a few
posts； and； at every place where she rests for the night； they give
her a little féte champêtre disguised as villagers and in bourgeois
attire； with bailiff and scrivener； and other masks all singing and
reciting verses。 A lady on the eve of Longchamp； knowing that the
Vicomte de V … possesses two calèches； makes a request for one of
them； it is disposed of； but he is careful not to decline； and
immediately has one of the greatest elegance purchased to lend it for
three hours； he is only too happy that anybody should wish to borrow
from him； his prodigality appearing amiable but not astonishing。＇46＇
The reason is that women then were queens in the drawing…room； it is
their right； this is the reason why； in the eighteenth century； they
prescribe the law and the fashion in all things。＇47＇ Having formed the
code of usages； it is quite natural that they should profit by it； and
see that all its prescriptions are carried out。 In this respect any
circle 〃of the best company 〃 is a superior tribunal； serving as a
court of last appeal。＇48＇ The Maréchale de Luxembourg is an authority；
there is no point of manners which she does not justify with an
ingenious argument。 Any expression； any neglect of the standard； the
slightest sign of pretension or of vanity incurs her disapprobation；
from which there is no appeal； and the delinquent is for ever banished
from refined society。 Any subtle observation； any well…timed silence；
an 〃 oh〃 uttered in an appropriate place instead of an 〃 Ah；〃 secures
from her； as from M。 Talleyrand； a diploma of good breeding which is
the commencement of fame and the promise of a fortune。 Under such an
〃instructress〃 it is evident that deportment； gesture； language； every
act or omission in this mundane sphere； becomes； like a picture or
poem； a veritable work of art； that is to say； infinite in refinement；
at once studied and easy； and so harmonious in its details that its
perfection conceals the difficulty of combining them。
A great lady 〃receives ten persons with one courtesy； bestowing on
each； through the head or by a glance； all that he is entitled
to；〃＇49＇ meaning by this the shade of regard due to each phase of
position； consideration； and birth。 〃She has always to deal with
easily irritated amour…propres； consequently the slightest deficiency
in proportion would be promptly detected；〃＇50＇ But she is never
mistaken； and never hesitates in these subtle distinctions； with
incomparable tact； dexterity； and flexibility of tone； she regulates
the degrees of her welcome。 She has one 〃for women of condition； one
for women of quality； one for women of the court； one for titled
women； one for women of historic names； another for women of high
birth personally； but married to men beneath them； another for women
who by marriage have changed a common into a distinguished name；
another still for women of reputable names in the law； and； finally；
another for those whose relief consists chiefly of expensive houses
and good suppers。〃 A stranger would be amazed on seeing with what
certain and adroit steps she circulates among so many watchful
vanities without ever hurting or being hurt。 〃She knows how to express
all through the style of her salutations； a varied style； extending
through imperceptible gradations； from the accessory of a single shrug
of the shoulder； almost an impertinence； to that noble and deferential
reverence which so few women； even of the court； know how to do well；
that slow bending forward； with lowered eyes and straightened figure；
gradually recovering and modestly glancing at the