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always be
〃Your affectionate _Cousin；_
〃BARBARA SINCLAIR。〃
Soon after this effusion she vanished into Perthshire； leaving her cousin
stunned by a blow which she thought would be only a scratch to one of his
character。
Lord Ipsden relapsed into greater listlessness than before he had
cherished these crushed hopes。 The world now became really dark and blank
to him。 He was too languid to go anywhere or do anything； a republican
might have compared the settled expression of his handsome； hopeless face
with that of most day…laborers of the same age； and moderated his envy of
the rich and titled。
At last he became so pale as well as languid that Mr。 Saunders
interfered。
Saunders was a model valet and factotum； who had been with his master
ever since he left Eton； and had made himself necessary to him in their
journeys。
The said Saunders was really an invaluable servant； and； with a world of
obsequiousness； contrived to have his own way on most occasions。 He had；
I believe； only one great weakness； that of imagining a beau…ideal of
aristocracy and then outdoing it in the person of John Saunders。
Now this Saunders was human； and could not be eight years with this young
gentleman and not take some little interest in him。 He was flunky； and
took a great interest in him； as stepping…stone to his own greatness。 So
when he saw him turning pale and thin； and reading one letter fifty
times； he speculated and inquired what was the matter。 He brought the
intellect of Mr。 Saunders to bear on the question at the following angle：
〃Now； if I was a young lord with 20；000 pounds a year； and all the world
at my feet； what would make me in this way？ Why； the liver！ Nothing else。
〃And that is what is wrong with him； you may depend。〃
This conclusion arrived at； Mr。 Saunders coolly wrote his convictions to
Dr。 Aberford； and desired that gentleman's immediate attention to the
case。 An hour or two later； he glided into his lord's room； not without
some secret trepidation； no trace of which appeared on his face。 He
pulled a long histrionic countenance。 〃My lord；〃 said he； in soft；
melancholy tones； 〃your lordship's melancholy state of health gives me
great anxiety； and； with many apologies to your lordship； the doctor is
sent for； my lord。〃
〃Why； Saunders； you are mad； there is nothing the matter with me。〃
〃I beg your lordship's pardon； your lordship is very ill； and Dr。
Aberford sent for。〃
〃You may go； Saunders。〃
〃Yes； my lord。 I couldn't help it； I've outstepped my duty； my lord； but
I could not stand quiet and see your lordship dying by inches。〃 Here Mr。
S。 put a cambric handkerchief artistically to his eyes； and glided out；
having disarmed censure。
Lord Ipsden fell into a reverie。
〃Is my mind or my body disordered？ Dr。 Aberford！absurd！Saunders is
getting too pragmatical。 The doctor shall prescribe for him instead of
me； by Jove； that would serve him right。〃 And my lord faintly chuckled。
〃No！ this is what I am ill of〃and he read the fatal note again。 〃I do
nothing！cruel； unjust；〃 sighed he。 〃I could have done； would have done；
anything to please her。 Do nothing！ nobody does anything nowthings
don't come in your way to be done as they used centuries ago； or we
should do them just the same； it is their fault； not ours；〃 argued his
lordship； somewhat confusedly； then； leaning his brow upon the sofa； he
wished to die。 For； at that dark moment life seemed to this fortunate man
an aching void； a weary； stale； flat； unprofitable tale； a faded flower；
a ball…room after daylight has crept in； and music； motion and beauty are
fled away。
〃Dr。 Aberford； my lord。〃
This announcement； made by Mr。 Saunders； checked his lordship's reverie。
〃Insults everybody； does he not； Saunders？〃
〃Yes； my lord；〃 said Saunders； monotonously。
〃Perhaps he will me； that might amuse me；〃 said the other。
A moment later the doctor bowled into the apartment； tugging at his
gloves； as he ran。
The contrast between him and our poor rich friend is almost beyond human
language。
Here lay on a sofa Ipsden； one of the most distinguished young gentlemen
in Europe； a creature incapable； by nature； of a rugged tone or a coarse
gesture； a being without the slightest apparent pretension； but refined
beyond the wildest dream of dandies。 To him； enter Aberford； perspiring
and shouting。 He was one of those globules of human quicksilver one sees
now and then for two seconds； they are； in fact； two globules； their head
is one； invariably bald； round； and glittering； the body is another in
activity and shape； _totus teres atque rotundus；_ and in fifty years they
live five centuries。 _Horum Rex Aberford_of these our doctor was the
chief。 He had hardly torn off one glove； and rolled as far as the third
flower from the door on his lordship's carpet； before he shouted：
〃This is my patient； lolloping in pursuit of health。 Your hand；〃 added
he。 For he was at the sofa long before his lordship could glide off it。
〃Tongue。 Pulse is good。 Breathe in my face。〃
〃Breathe in your face； sir！ how can I do that？〃 （with an air of mild
doubt。）
〃By first inhaling； and then exhaling in the direction required； or how
can I make acquaintance with your bowels？〃
〃My bowels？〃
〃The abdomen； and the greater and lesser intestines。 Well； never mind； I
can get at them another way； give your heart a slap； so。 That's your
liver。 And that's your diaphragm。〃
His lordship having found the required spot （some people that I know
could not） and slapped it； the Aberford made a circular spring and
listened eagerly at his shoulder…blade； the result of this scientific
pantomime seemed to be satisfactory； for he exclaimed； not to say bawled：
〃Halo！ here is a viscount as sound as a roach！ Now； young gentleman；〃
added he； 〃your organs are superb； yet you are really out of sorts； it
follows you have the maladies of idle minds； love； perhaps； among the
rest； you blush； a diagnostic of that disorder； make your mind easy；
cutaneous disorders； such as love； etc。； shall never kill a patient of
mine with a stomach like yours。 So； now to cure you！〃 And away went the
spherical doctor； with his hands behind him； not up and down the room；
but slanting and tacking； like a knight on a chess…board。 He had not made
many steps before； turning his upper globule； without affecting his
lower； he hurled back； in a cold business…like tone； the following
interrogatory：
〃What are your vices？〃
〃Saunders；〃 inquired the patient； 〃which are my vices？〃
〃M'lord； lordship hasn't any vices；〃 replied Saunders； with dull；
matter…of…fact solemnity。
〃Lady Barbara makes the same complaint；〃 thought Lord Ipsden。
〃It seems I have not any vices； Dr。 Aberford；〃 said he； demurely。
〃That is bad； nothing to get hold of。 What interests you； then？〃
〃I don't remember。〃
〃What amuses you？〃
〃I forget。〃
〃What！ no winning horse to gallop away your rents？〃
〃No； sir！〃
〃No opera girl to run her foot and ankle through your purse？〃
〃No； sir！ and I think their ankles are not what they were。〃
〃Stuff！ just the same； from their ankles up to their ears； and down again
to their morals； it is your eyes that are