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〃A woman that does not even wear the clothes of a lady。〃
〃It is the only genuine costume in these islands not beneath a painter's
notice。〃
〃Look at me; Charles; at your mother。〃
〃Yes; mother;〃 said he; nervously。
〃You must part with her; or kill me。〃
He started from his seat and began to flutter up and down the room; poor
excitable creature。 〃Part with her!〃 cried he; 〃I shall never be a
painter if I do; what is to keep my heart warm when the sun is hid; when
the birds are silent; when difficulty looks a mountain and success a
molehill? What is an artist without love? How is he to bear up against
his disappointments from within; his mortification from without? the
great ideas he has and cannot grasp; and all the forms of ignorance that
sting him; from stupid insensibility down to clever; shallow criticism?〃
〃Come back to common sense;〃 said the old lady; coldly and grimly。
He looked uneasy。 Common sense had often been quoted against him; and
common sense had always proved right。
〃Come back to common sense。 She shall not be your mistress; and she
cannot bear your name; you must part some day; because you cannot come
together; and now is the best time。〃
〃Not be together? all our lives; all our lives; ay;〃 cried he; rising
into enthusiasm; 〃hundreds of years to come will we two be together
before men's eyesI will be an immortal painter; that the world and time
may cherish the features I have loved。 I love her; mother;〃 added he;
with a tearful tenderness that ought to have reached a woman's heart;
then flushing; trembling; and inspired; he burst out; 〃And I wish I was a
sculptor and a poet too; that Christie might live in stone and verse; as
well as colors; and all who love an art might say; 'This woman cannot
die; Charles Gatty loved her。'〃
He looked in her face; he could not believe any creature could be
insensible to his love; and persist to rob him of it。
The old woman paused; to let his eloquence evaporate。
The pause chilled him; then gently and slowly; but emphatically; she
spoke to him thus:
〃Who has kept you on her small means ever since you were ten years and
seven months old?〃
〃You should know; mother; dear mother。〃
〃Answer me; Charles。〃
〃My mother。〃
〃Who has pinched herself; in every earthly thing; to make you an immortal
painter; and; above all; a gentleman?〃
〃My mother。〃
〃Who forgave you the little faults of youth; before you could ask
pardon?〃
〃My mother! Oh; mother; I ask pardon now for all the trouble I ever gave
the best; the dearest; the tenderest of mothers。〃
〃Who will go home to Newcastle; a broken…hearted woman; with the one hope
gone that has kept her up in poverty and sorrow so many weary years; if
this goes on?〃
〃Nobody; I hope。〃
〃Yes; Charles; your mother。〃
〃Oh; mother; you have been always my best friend。〃
〃And am this day。〃
〃Do not be my worst enemy now。 It is for me to obey you; but it is for
you to think well before you drive me to despair。〃
And the poor womanish heart leaned his head on the table; and began to
sorrow over his hard fate。
Mrs。 Gatty soothed him。 〃It need not be done all in a moment。 It must be
done kindly; but firmly。 I will give you as much time as you like。〃
This bait took; the weak love to temporize。
It is doubtful whether he honestly intended to part with Christie
Johnstone; but to pacify his mother he promised to begin and gradually
untie the knot。
〃My mother will go;〃 whispered his deceitful heart; 〃and; when she is
away; perhaps I shall find out that in spite of every effort I cannot
resign my treasure。〃
He gave a sort of half…promise for the sake of peace。
His mother instantly sent to the inn for her boxes。
〃There is a room in this same house;〃 said she; 〃I will take it; I will
not hurry you; but until it is done; I stay here; if it is a twelvemonth
about。〃
He turned pale。
〃And now hear the good news I have brought you from Newcastle。〃
Oh! these little iron wills; how is a great artist to fight three hundred
and sixty…five days against such an antagonist?
Every day saw a repetition of these dialogues; in which genius made
gallant bursts into the air; and strong; hard sense caught him on his
descent; and dabbed glue on his gauzy wings。
Old age and youth see life so differently。 To youth; it is a story…book;
in which we are to command the incidents; and be the bright exceptions to
one rule after another。
To age it is an almanac; in which everything will happen just as it has
happened so many times。
To youth; it is a path through a sunny meadow。
To age; a hard turnpike:
Whose travelers must be all sweat and dust; when they are not in mud and
drenched:
Which wants mending in many places; and is mended with sharp stones。
Gatty would not yield to go down to Newhaven and take a step against his
love; but he yielded so far as to remain passive; and see whether this
creature was necessary to his existence or not。 Mrs。 G。 scouted the idea。
〃He was to work; and he would soon forget her。〃 Poor boy! he wanted to
work; his debt weighed on him; a week's resolute labor might finish his
first picture and satisfy his creditor。 The subject was an interior。 He
set to work; he stuck to work; he glued to work; his bodybut his heart?
Ah; my poor fellow; a much slower horse than Gatty will go by you; ridden
as you are by a leaden heart。
Tu nihil invita facies pingesve Minerva。
It would not lower a mechanical dog's efforts; but it must yours。
He was unhappy。 He heard only one side for days; that side was
recommended by his duty; filial affection; and diffidence of his own good
sense。
He was brought to see his proceedings were eccentric; and that it is
destruction to be eccentric。
He was made a little ashamed of what he had been proud of。
He was confused and perplexed; he hardly knew what to think or do; he
collapsed; and all his spirit was fast leaving him; and then he felt
inclined to lean on the first thing he could find; and nothing came to
hand but his mother。
Meantime; Christie Johnstone was also thinking of him; but her single
anxiety was to find this eighty pounds for him。
It is a Newhaven idea that the female is the natural protector of the
male; and this idea was strengthened in her case。
She did not fully comprehend his character and temperament; but she saw;
by instinct; that she was to be the protector。 Besides; as she was
twenty…one; and he only twenty…two; she felt the difference between
herself; a woman; and him; a boy; and to leave him to struggle unaided
out of his difficulties seemed to her heartless。
Twice she opened her lips to engage the charitable 〃vile count〃 in his
cause; but shame closed them again; this would be asking a personal
favor; and one on so large a scale。
Several days passed thus; she had determined not to visit him without
good news。
She then began to be surprised; she heard nothing from him。
And now she felt something that prevented her calling on him。
But Jean Carnie was to be married; and the next day the wedding party
were to spend in festivity upon the island of Inch Coombe。
She bade Jean call on him; and; without me