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Then; carried away as by a rushing torrent; she soon began to
recall the day before。
〃What time is it?〃 she asked。
Mere Rollet went out; raised the fingers of her right hand to
that side of the sky that was brightest; and came back slowly;
saying
〃Nearly three。〃
〃Ahl thanks; thanks!〃
For he would come; he would have found some money。 But he would;
perhaps; go down yonder; not guessing she was here; and she told
the nurse to run to her house to fetch him。
〃Be quick!〃
〃But; my dear lady; I'm going; I'm going!〃
She wondered now that she had not thought of him from the first。
Yesterday he had given his word; he would not break it。 And she
already saw herself at Lheureux's spreading out her three
bank…notes on his bureau。 Then she would have to invent some
story to explain matters to Bovary。 What should it be?
The nurse; however; was a long while gone。 But; as there was no
clock in the cot; Emma feared she was perhaps exaggerating the
length of time。 She began walking round the garden; step by step;
she went into the path by the hedge; and returned quickly; hoping
that the woman would have come back by another road。 At last;
weary of waiting; assailed by fears that she thrust from her; no
longer conscious whether she had been here a century or a moment;
she sat down in a corner; closed her eyes; and stopped her ears。
The gate grated; she sprang up。 Before she had spoken Mere Rollet
said to her
〃There is no one at your house!〃
〃What?〃
〃Oh; no one! And the doctor is crying。 He is calling for you;
they're looking for you。〃
Emma answered nothing。 She gasped as she turned her eyes about
her; while the peasant woman; frightened at her face; drew back
instinctively; thinking her mad。 Suddenly she struck her brow and
uttered a cry; for the thought of Rodolphe; like a flash of
lightning in a dark night; had passed into her soul。 He was so
good; so delicate; so generous! And besides; should he hesitate
to do her this service; she would know well enough how to
constrain him to it by re…waking; in a single moment; their lost
love。 So she set out towards La Huchette; not seeing that she was
hastening to offer herself to that which but a while ago had so
angered her; not in the least conscious of her prostitution。
Chapter Eight
She asked herself as she walked along; 〃What am I going to say?
How shall I begin?〃 And as she went on she recognised the
thickets; the trees; the sea…rushes on the hill; the chateau
yonder。 All the sensations of her first tenderness came back to
her; and her poor aching heart opened out amorously。 A warm wind
blew in her face; the melting snow fell drop by drop from the
buds to the grass。
She entered; as she used to; through the small park…gate。 She
reached the avenue bordered by a double row of dense lime…trees。
They were swaying their long whispering branches to and fro。 The
dogs in their kennels all barked; and the noise of their voices
resounded; but brought out no one。
She went up the large straight staircase with wooden balusters
that led to the corridor paved with dusty flags; into which
several doors in a row opened; as in a monastery or an inn。 His
was at the top; right at the end; on the left。 When she placed
her fingers on the lock her strength suddenly deserted her。 She
was afraid; almost wished he would not be there; though this was
her only hope; her last chance of salvation。 She collected her
thoughts for one moment; and; strengthening herself by the
feeling of present necessity; went in。
He was in front of the fire; both his feet on the mantelpiece;
smoking a pipe。
〃What! it is you!〃 he said; getting up hurriedly。
〃Yes; it is I; Rodolphe。 I should like to ask your advice。〃
And; despite all her efforts; it was impossible for her to
open her lips。
〃You have not changed; you are charming as ever!〃
〃Oh;〃 she replied bitterly; 〃they are poor charms since you
disdained them。〃
Then he began a long explanation of his conduct; excusing himself
in vague terms; in default of being able to invent better。
She yielded to his words; still more to his voice and the sight
of him; so that; she pretended to believe; or perhaps believed;
in the pretext he gave for their rupture; this was a secret on
which depended the honour; the very life of a third person。
〃No matter!〃 she said; looking at him sadly。 〃I have suffered
much。〃
He replied philosophically
〃Such is life!〃
〃Has life;〃 Emma went on; 〃been good to you at least; since our
separation?〃
〃Oh; neither good nor bad。〃
〃Perhaps it would have been better never to have parted。〃
〃Yes; perhaps。〃
〃You think so?〃 she said; drawing nearer; and she sighed。 〃Oh;
Rodolphe! if you but knew! I loved you so!〃
It was then that she took his hand; and they remained some time;
their fingers intertwined; like that first day at the Show。 With
a gesture of pride he struggled against this emotion。 But sinking
upon his breast she said to him
〃How did you think I could live without you? One cannot lose the
habit of happiness。 I was desolate。 I thought I should die。 I
will tell you about all that and you will see。 And youyou fled
from me!〃
For; all the three years; he had carefully avoided her in
consequence of that natural cowardice that characterises the
stronger sex。 Emma went on; with dainty little nods; more coaxing
than an amorous kitten
〃You love others; confess it! Oh; I understand them; dear! I
excuse them。 You probably seduced them as you seduced me。 You are
indeed a man; you have everything to make one love you。 But we'll
begin again; won't we? We will love one another。 See! I am
laughing; I am happy! Oh; speak!〃
And she was charming to see; with her eyes; in which trembled a
tear; like the rain of a storm in a blue corolla。
He had drawn her upon his knees; and with the back of his hand
was caressing her smooth hair; where in the twilight was mirrored
like a golden arrow one last ray of the sun。 She bent down her
brow; at last he kissed her on the eyelids quite gently with the
tips of his lips。
〃Why; you have been crying! What for?〃
She burst into tears。 Rodolphe thought this was an outburst of
her love。 As she did not speak; he took this silence for a last
remnant of resistance; and then he cried out
〃Oh; forgive me! You are the only one who pleases me。 I was
imbecile and cruel。 I love you。 I will love you always。 What is
it。 Tell me!〃 He was kneeling by her。
〃Well; I am ruined; Rodolphe! You must lend me three thousand
francs。〃
〃Butbut〃 said he; getting up slowly; while his face assumed a
grave expression。
〃You know;〃 she went on quickly; 〃that my husband had placed his
whole fortune at a notary's。 He ran away。 So we borrowed; the
patients don't pay us。 Moreover; the settling of the estate is
not yet done; we shall have the money later on。 But to…day; for
want of three thousand francs; we are to be sold up。 It is to be
at once; this very moment; and; counting upon your friendship; I
have come to you。〃
〃Ah!〃 thought Rodolphe; turning very pale; 〃that was what she
came for。〃 At last he said with a calm air
〃Dear madame; I have not got them。〃
He did not lie。 If he had had them; he would; no doubt; have
given them; although it is generally disagreeable to