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they do seltzer…water at restaurants。〃
But during his demonstration the cider often spurted right into
their faces； and then the ecclesiastic； with a thick laugh； never
missed this joke
〃Its goodness strikes the eye！〃
He was； in fact； a good fellow and one day he was not even
scandalised at the chemist； who advised Charles to give madame
some distraction by taking her to the theatre at Rouen to hear
the illustrious tenor； Lagardy。 Homais； surprised at this
silence； wanted to know his opinion； and the priest declared that
he considered music less dangerous for morals than literature。
But the chemist took up the defence of letters。 The theatre； he
contended； served for railing at prejudices； and； beneath a mask
of pleasure； taught virtue。
〃'Castigat ridendo mores；'* Monsieur Bournisien！ Thus consider
the greater part of Voltaire's tragedies； they are cleverly
strewn with philosophical reflections； that made them a vast
school of morals and diplomacy for the people。〃
*It corrects customs through laughter。
〃I；〃 said Binet； 〃once saw a piece called the 'Gamin de Paris；'
in which there was the character of an old general that is really
hit off to a T。 He sets down a young swell who had seduced a
working girl； who at the ending〃
〃Certainly；〃 continued Homais； 〃there is bad literature as there
is bad pharmacy； but to condemn in a lump the most important of
the fine arts seems to me a stupidity； a Gothic idea； worthy of
the abominable times that imprisoned Galileo。〃
〃I know very well；〃 objected the cure； 〃that there are good
works； good authors。 However； if it were only those persons of
different sexes united in a bewitching apartment； decorated
rouge； those lights； those effeminate voices； all this must； in
the long…run； engender a certain mental libertinage； give rise to
immodest thoughts and impure temptations。 Such； at any rate； is
the opinion of all the Fathers。 Finally；〃 he added； suddenly
assuming a mystic tone of voice while he rolled a pinch of snuff
between his fingers； 〃if the Church has condemned the theatre；
she must be right； we must submit to her decrees。〃
〃Why；〃 asked the druggist； 〃should she excommunicate actors？ For
formerly they openly took part in religious ceremonies。 Yes； in
the middle of the chancel they acted； they performed a kind of
farce called 'Mysteries；' which often offended against the laws
of decency。〃
The ecclesiastic contented himself with uttering a groan； and the
chemist went on
〃It's like it is in the Bible； there there are； you know； more
than one piquant detail； matters really libidinous！〃
And on a gesture of irritation from Monsieur Bournisien
〃Ah！ you'll admit that it is not a book to place in the hands of
a young girl； and I should be sorry if Athalie〃
〃But it is the Protestants； and not we；〃 cried the other
impatiently； 〃who recommend the Bible。〃
〃No matter；〃 said Homais。 〃I am surprised that in our days； in
this century of enlightenment； anyone should still persist in
proscribing an intellectual relaxation that is inoffensive；
moralising； and sometimes even hygienic； is it not； doctor？〃
〃No doubt；〃 replied the doctor carelessly； either because；
sharing the same ideas； he wished to offend no one； or else
because he had not any ideas。
The conversation seemed at an end when the chemist thought fit to
shoot a Parthian arrow。
〃I've known priests who put on ordinary clothes to go and see
dancers kicking about。〃
〃Come； come！〃 said the cure。
〃Ah！ I've known some！〃 And separating the words of his sentence；
Homais repeated； 〃Ihaveknownsome！〃
〃Well； they were wrong；〃 said Bournisien； resigned to anything。
〃By Jove！ they go in for more than that；〃 exclaimed the druggist。
〃Sir！〃 replied the ecclesiastic； with such angry eyes that the
druggist was intimidated by them。
〃I only mean to say；〃 he replied in less brutal a tone； 〃that
toleration is the surest way to draw people to religion。〃
〃That is true！ that is true！〃 agreed the good fellow； sitting
down again on his chair。 But he stayed only a few moments。
Then； as soon as he had gone； Monsieur Homais said to the doctor
〃That's what I call a cock…fight。 I beat him； did you see； in a
way！Now take my advice。 Take madame to the theatre； if it were
only for once in your life； to enrage one of these ravens； hang
it！ If anyone could take my place； I would accompany you myself。
Be quick about it。 Lagardy is only going to give one performance；
he's engaged to go to England at a high salary。 From what I hear；
he's a regular dog； he's rolling in money； he's taking three
mistresses and a cook along with him。 All these great artists
burn the candle at both ends； they require a dissolute life； that
suits the imagination to some extent。 But they die at the
hospital； because they haven't the sense when young to lay by。
Well； a pleasant dinner！ Goodbye till to…morrow。〃
The idea of the theatre quickly germinated in Bovary's head； for
he at once communicated it to his wife； who at first refused；
alleging the fatigue； the worry； the expense； but； for a wonder；
Charles did not give in； so sure was he that this recreation
would be good for her。 He saw nothing to prevent it： his mother
had sent them three hundred francs which he had no longer
expected； the current debts were not very large； and the falling
in of Lheureux's bills was still so far off that there was no
need to think about them。 Besides； imagining that she was
refusing from delicacy； he insisted the more； so that by dint of
worrying her she at last made up her mind； and the next day at
eight o'clock they set out in the 〃Hirondelle。〃
The druggist； whom nothing whatever kept at Yonville； but who
thought himself bound not to budge from it； sighed as he saw them
go。
〃Well； a pleasant journey！〃 he said to them； 〃happy mortals that
you are！〃
Then addressing himself to Emma； who was wearing a blue silk gown
with four flounces
〃You are as lovely as a Venus。 You'll cut a figure at Rouen。〃
The diligence stopped at the 〃Croix…Rouge〃 in the Place
Beauvoisine。 It was the inn that is in every provincial faubourg；
with large stables and small bedrooms； where one sees in the
middle of the court chickens pilfering the oats under the muddy
gigs of the commercial travellersa good old house； with
worm…eaten balconies that creak in the wind on winter nights；
always full of people； noise； and feeding； whose black tables are
sticky with coffee and brandy； the thick windows made yellow by
the flies； the damp napkins stained with cheap wine； and that
always smells of the village； like ploughboys dressed in
Sundayclothes； has a cafe on the street； and towards the
countryside a kitchen…garden。 Charles at once set out。 He muddled
up the stage…boxes with the gallery； the pit with the boxes；
asked for explanations； did not understand them； was sent from
the box…office to the acting…manager； came back to the inn；
returned to the theatre； and thus several times traversed the
whole length of the town from the theatre to the boulevard。
Madame Bovary bought a bonnet； gloves； and a bouquet。 The doctor
was much afraid of missing the beginning； and； without having had
time to swallow a plate of soup； they presented themselves at th