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carson mccullers - the heart is a lonely hunter-第85章

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wasted; washed…out land abandoned to the hardier weeds。 The train 
cut through deep green pine forests where the ground was covered 
with the slick brown needles and the tops of the trees stretched up 
virgin and tall into the sky。 And farther; a long way south of the 
town; the cypress swamps—with the gnarled roots of the trees 
writhing down into the brackish waters; where the gray; tattered moss 
trailed from the branches; where tropical water flowers blossomed in 
dankness and gloom。 Then out again into the open beneath the sun 
and the indigo…blue sky。 
Singer sat solemn and timid; his face turned fully toward the window。 
The great sweeps of space and the hard; elemental coloring almost 
blinded him。 This kaleidoscopic variety of scene; this abundance of 
growth and color;276 

seemed somehow connected with his friend〃。 His thoughts 
were with Antonapoulos。 The bliss of their reunion almost 
stifled him。 His nose was pinched and he breathed with quick; 
short breaths through his slightly open mouth。 
Antonapoulos would be glad to see him。 He would enjoy the 
fresh fruits and the presents。 By now he would be out of the 
sick ward and able to go on an excursion to the movies; and 
afterward to the hotel where they had eaten dinner on the first 
visit。 Singer had written many letters to Antonapoulos; but he 
had not posted them。 He surrendered himself wholly to 
thoughts of his friend。 
The half…year since he had last been with him seemed neither 
a long nor a short span of time。 Behind each waking moment 
there had always been his friend。 And this submerged 
communion with Antonapoulos had grown and changed as 
though they were together in the flesh。 Sometimes he thought 
of Antonapoulos with awe and self…abasement; sometimes 
with pride—always with love unchecked by criticism; freed of 
will。 When he dreamed at night the face of his friend was 


always before him; massive and gentle。 And in his waking 
thoughts they were eternally united。 
The summer evening came slowly。 The sun sank down behind 
a ragged line of trees in the distance and the sky paled。 The 
twilight was languid and soft。 There was a white full moon; 
and low purple clouds lay over the horizon。 The earth; the 
trees; the unpainted rural dwellings darkened slowly。 At 
intervals mild summer lightning quivered in the air。 Singer 
watched all of this intently until at last the night had come; 
and his own face was reflected in the glass before him。 
Children staggered up and down the aisle of the car with 
dripping paper cups of water。 An old man in overalls who had 
the seat before Singer drank whiskey from time to time from a 
Coca…Cola bottle。 Between swallows he plugged the bottle 
carefully with a wad of paper。 A little girl on the right combed 
her hair with a sticky red lollipop。 Shoeboxes were opened 
and trays of supper were brought in from the dining…car。 
Singer did not eat。 He leaned back in his seat and kept 
desultory account of all that went on around him。 At last the 
car settled down。 Children lay on the broad plush seats and 
slept; while men and women 

277 

doubled up with their pillows and rested as best they could。 
Singer did not sleep。 He pressed his face close against the 
glass and strained to see into the night。 The darkness was 
heavy and velvety。 Sometimes there was a patch of moonlight 
or the flicker of a lantern from the window of some house 
along the way。 From the moon he saw that the train had turned 
from its southward course and was headed toward the east。 
The eagerness he felt was so keen that his nose was too 
pinched to breathe through and his cheeks were scarlet。 He sat 
there; his face pressed close against the cold; sooty glass of 
the window; through most of the long night journey。 
The train was more than an hour late; and the fresh; bright 
summer morning was well under way when they arrived。 
Singer went immediately to the hotel; a very good hotel where 
he had made reservations in advance。 He unpacked his bags 
and arranged the presents he would take to Antonapoulos on 
the bed。 From the menu the bellboy brought him he selected a 
luxurious breakfast—broiled bluefish; hominy; French toast; 


and hot black coffee。 After breakfast he rested before the 
electric fan in his underwear。 At noon he began to dress。 He 
bathed and shaved and laid out fresh linen and his best 
seersucker suit At three o'clock the hospital was open for 
visiting hours。 It was Tuesday and the eighteenth of July。 
At the asylum he sought Antonapoulos first in the sick ward 
where he had been confined before。 But at the doorway of the 
room he saw immediately that his friend was not there。 Next 
he found his way through the corridors to the office where he 
had been taken the time before。 He had his question already 
written on one of the cards he carried about with him。 The 
person behind the desk was not the same as the one who had 
been there before。 He was a young man; almost a boy; with a 
half…formed; immature face and a lank mop of hair。 Singer 
handed him the card and stood quietly; his arms heaped with 
packages; his weight resting on his heels。 
The young man shook his head。 He leaned over the desk and 
scribbled loosely on a pad of paper。 Singer read what he had 
written and the spots of color drained from his cheekbones 
instantly。 He looked at the note a long time;278 

his eyes cut sideways and his head bowed。 For it was written 
there that Antonapoulos was dead。 
On the way back to the hotel he was careful not to crush the 
fruit he had brought with him。 He took the packages up to his 
room and then wandered down to the lobby。 Behind a potted 
palm tree there was a slot machine。 He inserted a nickel but 
when he tried to pull the lever he found that the machine was 
jammed。 Over this incident he made a great to…do。 He 
cornered the clerk and furiously demonstrated what had 
happened。 His face was deathly pale and he was so beside 
himself that tears rolled down the ridges of his nose。 He 
flailed his hands and even stamped once with his long; 
narrow; elegantly shoed foot on the plush carpet。 Nor was he 
satisfied when his coin was refunded; but insisted on checking 
out immediately。 He packed his bag and was obliged to work 
energetically to make it close again。 For in addition to the 
articles he had brought with him he carried away three towels; 
two cakes of soap; a pen and a bottle of ink; a roll of toilet 
paper; and a Holy Bible。 He paid his bill and walked to the 


railway station to put his belongings in custody。 The train did 
not leave until nine in the evening and he had the empty 
afternoon before him。 
This town was smaller than the one in which he lived。 The 
business streets intersected to form the shape of a cross。 The 
stores had a countrified look; there were harnesses and sacks 
of feed in half of the display windows。 Singer walked 
listlessly along the sidewalks。 His throat felt swollen and he 
wanted to swallow but was unable to do so。 To relieve this 
strangled feeling he bought a drink in one of the drugstores。 
He idled in the barber shop and purchased a few trifles a
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