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champagne； I actually popped the question； and was accepted。 In
another month； Robert Stubbs； Esq。； led to the altar； Leah； widow
of the late Z。 Manasseh； Esq。； of St。 Kitt's！
。 。 。 。 。 。
We drove up to London in her comfortable chariot： the children and
servants following in a post…chaise。 I paid； of course； for
everything； and until our house in Berkeley Square was painted； we
stopped at 〃Stevens's Hotel。〃
。 。 。 。 。 。
My own estate had been sold； and the money was lying at a bank in
the City。 About three days after our arrival； as we took our
breakfast in the hotel； previous to a visit to Mrs。 Stubbs's
banker； where certain little transfers were to be made； a gentleman
was introduced； who； I saw at a glance； was of my wife's
persuasion。
He looked at Mrs。 Stubbs； and made a bow。 〃Perhaps it will be
convenient to you to pay this little bill； one hundred and fifty…
two pounds？〃
〃My love；〃 says she； 〃will you pay thisit is a trifle which I had
really forgotten？〃
〃My soul！〃 said I； 〃I have really not the money in the house。〃
〃Vel； denn； Captain Shtubbsh；〃 says he； 〃I must do my dutyand
arrest youhere is the writ！ Tom； keep the door？〃 My wife
faintedthe children screamed； and I fancy my condition as I was
obliged to march off to a spunging…house along with a horrid
sheriff's officer？
OCTOBER。MARS AND VENUS IN OPPOSITION。
I shall not describe my feelings when I found myself in a cage in
Cursitor Street； instead of that fine house in Berkeley Square；
which was to have been mine as the husband of Mrs。 Manasseh。 What
a place！in an odious； dismal street leading from Chancery Lane。
A hideous Jew boy opened the second of three doors and shut it when
Mr。 Nabb and I （almost fainting） had entered； then he opened the
third door； and then I was introduced to a filthy place called a
coffee…room； which I exchanged for the solitary comfort of a little
dingy back…parlor； where I was left for a while to brood over my
miserable fate。 Fancy the change between this and Berkeley Square！
Was I； after all my pains； and cleverness； and perseverance；
cheated at last？ Had this Mrs。 Manasseh been imposing upon me； and
were the words of the wretch I met at the table…d'hote at
Leamington only meant to mislead me and take me in？ I determined
to send for my wife； and know the whole truth。 I saw at once that
I had been the victim of an infernal plot； and that the carriage；
the house in town； the West India fortune； were only so many lies
which I had blindly believed。 It was true that the debt was but a
hundred and fifty pounds； and I had two thousand at my bankers'。
But was the loss of HER 80；000L。 nothing？ Was the destruction of
my hopes nothing？ The accursed addition to my family of a Jewish
wife and three Jewish children； nothing？ And all these I was to
support out of my two thousand pounds。 I had better have stopped
at home with my mamma and sisters； whom I really did love； and who
produced me eighty pounds a year。
I had a furious interview with Mrs。 Stubbs； and when I charged her；
the base wretch！ with cheating me； like a brazen serpent as she
was； she flung back the cheat in my teeth； and swore I had swindled
her。 Why did I marry her； when she might have had twenty others？
She only took me； she said； because I had twenty thousand pounds。
I HAD said I possessed that sum； but in love； you know； and war
all's fair。
We parted quite as angrily as we met； and I cordially vowed that
when I had paid the debt into which I had been swindled by her； I
would take my 2；000L。 and depart to some desert island； or； at the
very least； to America； and never see her more； or any of her
Israelitish brood。 There was no use in remaining in the spunging…
house （for I knew that there were such things as detainers； and
that where Mrs。 Stubbs owed a hundred pounds； she might owe a
thousand） so I sent for Mr。 Nabb； and tendering him a cheque for
150L。 and his costs； requested to be let out forthwith。 〃Here；
fellow；〃 said I； 〃is a cheque on Child's for your paltry sum。〃
〃It may be a sheck on Shild's；〃 says Mr。 Nabb； 〃but I should be a
baby to let you out on such a paper as dat。〃
〃Well；〃 said I； 〃Child's is but a step from this： you may go and
get the cash；just give me an acknowledgment。〃
Nabb drew out the acknowledgment with great punctuality； and set
off for the bankers'； whilst I prepared myself for departure from
this abominable prison。
He smiled as he came in。 〃Well；〃 said I； 〃you have touched your
money； and now； I must tell you； that you are the most infernal
rogue and extortioner I ever met with。〃
〃Oh； no； Mishter Shtubbsh；〃 says he； grinning still。 〃Dere is som
greater roag dan me；mosh greater。〃
〃Fellow；〃 said I； 〃don't stand grinning before a gentleman； but
give me my hat and cloak； and let me leave your filthy den。〃
〃Shtop； Shtubbsh；〃 says he； not even Mistering me this time。 〃Here
ish a letter； vich you had better read。〃
I opened the letter； something fell to the ground：it was my
cheque。
The letter ran thus： 〃Messrs。 Child and Co。 present their
compliments to Captain Stubbs； and regret that they have been
obliged to refuse payment of the enclosed； having been served this
day with an attachment by Messrs。 Solomonson and Co。； which compels
them to retain Captain Stubbs' balance of 2；010L。 11s。 6d。 until
the decision of the suit of Solomonson v。 Stubbs。
〃FLEET STREET。〃
〃You see；〃 says Mr。 Nabb； as I read this dreadful letter〃you see；
Shtubbsh； dere vas two debts；a little von and a big von。 So dey
arrested you for de little von； and attashed your money for de big
von。〃
Don't laugh at me for telling this story。 If you knew what tears
are blotting over the paper as I write itif you knew that for
weeks after I was more like a madman than a sane man；a madman in
the Fleet Prison； where I went instead of to the desert island！
What had I done to deserve it？ Hadn't I always kept an eye to the
main chance？ Hadn't I lived economically； and not like other young
men？ Had I ever been known to squander or give away a single
penny？ No！ I can lay my hand on my heart； and； thank heaven； say；
No！ Why； why was I punished so？
Let me conclude this miserable history。 Seven monthsmy wife saw
me once or twice； and then dropped me altogetherI remained in
that fatal place。 I wrote to my dear mamma； begging her to sell
her furniture； but got no answer。 All my old friends turned their
backs upon me。 My action went against meI had not a penny to
defend it。 Solomonson proved my wife's debt； and seized my two
thousand pounds。 As for the detainer against me； I was obliged to
go through the court for the relief of insolvent debtors。 I passed
through it； and came out a beggar。 But fancy the malice of that
wicked Stiffelkind： he appeared in c