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tens of thousands in this world； dear children； who would count our
poverty riches。〃 And with this she kissed my two sisters； who
began to blubber； as girls always will do； and threw their arms
round her neck； and then round my neck； until I was half stifled
with their embraces； and slobbered all over with their tears。
〃Dearest mamma；〃 said I； 〃I am very glad to see the noble manner in
which you bear your loss； and more still to know that you are so
rich as to be able to put up with it。〃 The fact was； I really
thought the old lady had got a private hoard of her own； as many of
them havea thousand pounds or so in a stocking。 Had she put by
thirty pounds a year； as well she might； for the thirty years of
her marriage； there would have been nine hundred pounds clear； and
no mistake。 But still I was angry to think that any such paltry
concealment had been practisedconcealment too of MY money； so I
turned on her pretty sharply； and continued my speech。 〃You say；
Ma'am； that you are rich； and that Pump and Aldgate's failure has
no effect upon you。 I am very happy to hear you say so； Ma'am
very happy that you ARE rich； and I should like to know where your
property； my father's property； for you had none of your own；I
should like to know where this money liesWHERE YOU HAVE CONCEALED
IT； Ma'am； and； permit me to say； that when I agreed to board you
and my two sisters for eighty pounds a year； I did not know that
you had OTHER resources than those mentioned in my blessed father's
will。〃
This I said to her because I hated the meanness of concealment； not
because I lost by the bargain of boarding them： for the three poor
things did not eat much more than sparrows： and I've often since
calculated that I had a clear twenty pounds a year profit out of
them。
Mamma and the girls looked quite astonished when I made the speech。
〃What does he mean？〃 said Lucy to Eliza。
Mamma repeated the question。 〃My beloved Robert； what concealment
are you talking of？〃
〃I am talking of concealed property； Ma'am；〃 says I sternly。
〃And do youwhatcan youdo you really suppose that I have
concealedany of that blessed sa…a…a…aint's prop…op…op…operty？〃
screams out mamma。 〃Robert；〃 says she〃Bob； my own darling boy
my fondest； best beloved； now HE is gone〃 （meaning my late
governormore tears）〃you don't； you cannot fancy that your own
mother； who bore you； and nursed you； and wept for you； and would
give her all to save you from a moment's harmyou don't suppose
that she would che…e…e…eat you！〃 And here she gave a louder
screech than ever； and flung back on the sofa； and one of my
sisters went and tumbled into her arms； and t'other went round； and
the kissing and slobbering scene went on again； only I was left
out； thank goodness。 I hate such sentimentality。
〃CHE…E…E…EAT ME；〃 says I； mocking her。 〃What do you mean； then； by
saying you're so rich？ Say； have you got money； or have you not？〃
（And I rapped out a good number of oaths； too； which I don't put in
here； but I was in a dreadful fury； that's the fact。）
〃So help me heaven；〃 says mamma； in answer； going down on her knees
and smacking her two hands； 〃I have but a Queen Anne's guinea in
the whole of this wicked world。〃
〃Then what； Madam； induces you to tell these absurd stories to me；
and to talk about your riches； when you know that you and your
daughters are beggars； Ma'amBEGGARS？〃
〃My dearest boy； have we not got the house； and the furniture； and
a hundred a year still； and have you not great talents； which will
make all our fortunes？〃 says Mrs。 Stubbs； getting up off her knees；
and making believe to smile as she clawed hold of my hand and
kissed it。
This was TOO cool。 〃YOU have got a hundred a year； Ma'am；〃 says I
〃YOU have got a house？ Upon my soul and honor this is the first I
ever heard of it； and I'll tell you what； Ma'am；〃 says I （and it
cut her PRETTY SHARPLY too）： 〃as you've got it； YOU'D BETTER GO AND
LIVE IN IT。 I've got quite enough to do with my own house； and
every penny of my own income。〃
Upon this speech the old lady said nothing； but she gave a screech
loud enough to be heard from here to York； and down she fell
kicking and struggling in a regular fit。
。 。 。 。 。 。
I did not see Mrs。 Stubbs for some days after this； and the girls
used to come down to meals； and never speak； going up again and
stopping with their mother。 At last； one day； both of them came in
very solemn to my study； and Eliza； the eldest； said； 〃Robert；
mamma has paid you our board up to Michaelmas。〃
〃She has；〃 says I； for I always took precious good care to have it
in advance。
〃She says； Robert； That on Michaelmas daywe'llwe'll go away；
Robert。〃
〃Oh； she's going to her own house； is she； Lizzy？ Very good。
She'll want the furniture； I suppose； and that she may have too；
for I'm going to sell the place myself。〃 And so THAT matter was
settled。
。 。 。 。 。 。
On Michaelmas dayand during these two months I hadn't； I do
believe； seen my mother twice （once； about two o'clock in the
morning； I woke and found her sobbing over my bed）on Michaelmas…
day morning； Eliza comes to me and says； 〃ROBERT； THEY WILL COME
AND FETCH US AT SIX THIS EVENING。〃 Well； as this was the last day；
I went and got the best goose I could find （I don't think I ever
saw a primer； or ate more hearty myself）； and had it roasted at
three； with a good pudding afterwards； and a glorious bowl of
punch。 〃Here's a health to you； dear girls；〃 says I； 〃and you； Ma；
and good luck to all three； and as you've not eaten a morsel； I
hope you won't object to a glass of punch。 It's the old stuff； you
know； Ma'am； that that Waters sent to my father fifteen years ago。〃
Six o'clock came； and with it came a fine barouche。 As I live；
Captain Waters was on the box （it was his coach）； that old thief；
Bates； jumped out； entered my house； and before I could say Jack
Robinson； whipped off mamma to the carriage： the girls followed；
just giving me a hasty shake of the hand； and as mamma was helped
in； Mary Waters； who was sitting inside； flung her arms round her；
and then round the girls； and the Doctor； who acted footman； jumped
on the box； and off they went； taking no more notice of ME than if
I'd been a nonentity。
Here's a picture of the whole business：Mamma and Miss Waters are
sitting kissing each other in the carriage； with the two girls in
the back seat： Waters is driving （a precious bad driver he is too）；
and I'm standing at the garden door； and whistling。 That old fool
Mary Malowney is crying behind the garden gate： she went off next
day along with the furniture； and I to get into that precious
scrape which I shall mention next。
SEPTEMBER。PLUCKING A GOOSE。
After my papa's death； as he left me no money； and only a little
land； I put my estate into an a