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tired as a dog； and yet Luigi wouldn't lend him the legs to go up…stairs
and take a nap with。〃
〃Did he ask for them？〃
〃Let me seeit seems to me； somehow； thatthatAunt Betsy； do you
remember whether he〃
〃Never mind about what Aunt Betsy remembers she is not a witness； we
only want to know what you remember yourself；〃 said the judge。
〃Well； it does seem to； me that you are most cantankerously particular
about a little thing； Sim Robinson。 Why； when I can't remember a thing
myself； I always〃
〃Ah； please go on！〃
〃Now how can she when you keep fussing at her all the time？〃 said Aunt
Betsy。 〃Why； with a person pecking at me that way； I should get that
fuzzled and fuddled that〃
She was on her feet again； but Allen coaxed her into her seat once more；
while the court squelched the mirth of the house。 Then the judge said：
〃Madam； do you knowdo you absolutely know； independently of anything
these gentlemen have told youthat the power over their legs passes from
the one to the other regularly every week？〃
〃Regularly？ Bless your heart； regularly ain't any name for the exactness
of it！ All the big cities in Europe used to set the clocks by it。〃
（Laughter； suppressed by the court。）
〃How do you know？ That is the question。 Please answer it plainly and
squarely。〃
〃Don't you talk to me like that； Sim RobinsonI won't have it。 How do
I know； indeed！ How do you know what you know？ Because somebody told
you。 You didn't invent it out of your own head； did you？ Why； these
twins are the truthfulest people in the world； and I don't think it
becomes you to sit up there and throw slurs at them when they haven't
been doing anything to you。 And they are orphans besidesboth of them。
All〃
But Aunt Betsy was up again now； and both old ladies were talking at once
and with all their might； but as the house was weltering in a storm of
laughter； and the judge was hammering his desk with an iron paper…weight；
one could only see them talk； not hear them。 At last； when quiet was
restored； the court said：
〃Let the ladies retire。〃
〃But； your honor； I have the right； in the interest of my clients；to
cross…exam〃
〃You'll not need to exercise it； Mr。 Wilsonthe evidence is thrown out。〃
〃Thrown out！〃 said Aunt Patsy； ruffled； 〃and what's it thrown out for；
I'd like to know。〃
〃And so would I； Patsy Cooper。 It seems to me that if we can save these
poor persecuted strangers； it is our bounden duty to stand up here and
talk for them till〃
〃There； there； there； do sit down！〃
It cost some trouble and a good deal of coaxing； but they were got into
their seats at last。 The trial was soon ended now。 The twins themselves
became witnesses in their own defense。 They established the fact； upon
oath； that the leg…power passed from one to the other every Saturday
night at twelve o'clock sharp。 But or cross…examination their counsel
would not allow them to tell whose week of power the current week was。
The judge insisted upon their answering； and proposed to compel them； but
even the prosecution took fright and came to the rescue then； and helped
stay the sturdy jurist's revolutionary hand。 So the case had to go to
the jury with that important point hanging in the air。 They were out an
hour and brought in this verdict：
〃We the jury do find： 1； that an assault was committed； as charged；
2； that it was committed by one of the persons accused； he having been
seen to do it by several credible witnesses； 3； but that his identity is
so merged in his brother's that we have not been able to tell which was
him。 We cannot convict both； for only one is guilty。 We cannot acquit
both； for only one is innocent。 Our verdict is that justice has been
defeated by the dispensation of God； and ask to be discharged from
further duty。〃
This was read aloud in court and brought out a burst of hearty applause。
The old ladies made a spring at the twins； to shake and congratulate； but
were gently disengaged by Mr。 Wilson and softly crowded back into their
places。
The judge rose in his little tribune； laid aside his silver…bowed
spectacles； roached his gray hair up with his fingers； and said； with
dignity and solemnity； and even with a certain pathos：
〃In all my experience on the bench； I have not seen justice bow her head
in shame in this court until this day。 You little realize what far…
reaching harm has just been wrought here under the fickle forms of law。
Imitation is the bane of courtsI thank God that this one is free from
the contamination of that viceand in no long time you will see the
fatal work of this hour seized upon by profligate so…called guardians of
justice in all the wide circumstance of this planet and perpetuated in
their pernicious decisions。 I wash my hands of this iniquity。 I would
have compelled these culprits to expose their guilt； but support failed
me where I had most right to expect aid and encouragement。 And I was
confronted by a law made in the interest of crime； which protects the
criminal from testifying against himself。 Yet I had precedents of my own
whereby I had set aside that law on two different occasions and thus
succeeded in convicting criminals to whose crimes there were no witnesses
but themselves。 What have you accomplished this day？ Do you realize it？
You have set adrift； unadmonished； in this community； two men endowed
with an awful and mysterious gift； a hidden and grisly power for evil
a power by which each in his turn may commit crime after crime of the
most heinous character； and no man be able to tell which is the guilty or
which the innocent party in any case of them all。 Look to your homes
look to your property look to your lives for you have need！
〃Prisoners at the bar； stand up。 Through suppression of evidence； a jury
of yourourcountrymen have been obliged to deliver a verdict
concerning your case which stinks to heaven with the rankness of its
injustice。 By its terms you； the guilty one； go free with the innocent。
Depart in peace； and come no more！ The costs devolve upon the outraged
plaintiffanother iniquity。 The court stands dissolved。〃
Almost everybody crowded forward to overwhelm the twins and their counsel
with congratulations； but presently the two old aunties dug the
duplicates out and bore them away in triumph through the hurrahing crowd；
while lots of new friends carried Pudd'nhead Wilson off tavernward to
feast him and 〃wet down〃 his great and victorious entry into the legal
arena。 To Wilson； so long familiar with neglect and depreciation； this
strange new incense of popularity and admiration was as a fragrance blown
from the fields of paradise。 A happy man was Wilson。
CHAPTER VI
THE AMAZING DUEL
A deputation came in the evening and conferred upon Wilson the
welcome honor of a nomination for mayor； for the village has just
been converted into a city by charter。 Tom skulks out of
challenging the twins。 Judge Driscoll thereupon challenges Angelo
（accused by Tom of doing the kicking）； he declines； but Luigi
accepts in his place against Angelo's timid protest。
It was late Saturday night nearing eleven。
The judge