按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
〃The best of life is but intoxication；〃 and Selina； who during her brief
inebriation had lived in an ecstasy as golden as our drab existence affords；
had to experience the inevitable bitterness of awakening sobriety； when
the dying down of the flames into sullen embers coincided with the
frenzied entrance of Aunt Eliza on the scene。 It was not so much that she
was at once and forever disrated； broke； sent before the mast； and branded
as one on whom no reliance could be placed； even with Edward safe at
school； and myself under the distant vigilance of an aunt； that her pocket
money was stopped indefinitely； and her new Church Service； the pride of
her last birthday； removed from her own custody and placed under the
control of a Trust。 She sorrowed rather because she had dragged poor
Harold； against his better judgment； into a most horrible scrape； and
moreover because； when the reaction had fairly set in； when the exaltation
had fizzled away and the young…lady portion of her had crept timorously
back to its wonted lodging； she could only see herself as a plain fool；
unjustified； undeniable； without a shadow of an excuse or explanation。
As for Harold； youth and a short memory made his case less pitiful
9
… Page 10…
DREAM DAYS
than it seemed to his more sensitive sister。 True； he started upstairs to his
lonely cot bellowing dismally； before him a dreary future of pains and
penalties； sufficient to last to the crack of doom。 Outside his door；
however； he tumbled over Augustus the cat； and made capture of him； and
at once his mourning was changed into a song of triumph； as he conveyed
his prize into port。 For Augustus； who detested above all things going to
bed with little boys； was ever more knave than fool； and the trapper who
was wily enough to ensnare him had achieved something notable。
Augustus； when he realized that his fate was sealed； and his night's
lodging settled； wisely made the best of things； and listened； with a
languorous air of complete comprehension； to the incoherent babble
concerning pigs and heroes； moles and bonfires； which served Harold for a
self…sung lullaby。 Yet it may be doubted whether Augustus was one of
those rare fellows who thoroughly understood。
But Selina knew no more of this source of consolation than of the
sympathy with which the stars were winking above her； and it was only
after some sad interval oftime； and on a very moist pillow； that she drifted
into that quaint inconsequent country where you may meet your own pet
hero strolling down the road； and commit what hair…brained oddities you
like； and everybody understands and appreciates。
10
… Page 11…
DREAM DAYS
DIES IRAE
Those memorable days that move in procession； their heads just out of
the mist of years long deadthe most of them are full… eyed as the
dandelion that from dawn to shade has steeped itself in sunlight。 Here
and there in their ranks； however； moves a forlorn one who is blindblind
in the sense of the dulled window…pane on which the pelting raindrops
have mingled and run down； obscuring sunshine and the circling birds；
happy fields； and storied garden； blind with the spatter of a misery
uncomprehended； unanalysed； only felt as something corporeal in its
buffeting effects。
Martha began it； and yet Martha was not really to blame。 Indeed； that
was half the trouble of itno solid person stood full in view； to be blamed
and to make atonement。 There was only a wretched； impalpable
condition to deal with。 Breakfast was just over； the sun was summoning
us； imperious as a herald with clamour of trumpet； I ran upstairs to her
with a broken bootlace in my hand； and there she was； crying in a corner；
her head in her apron。 Nothing could be got from her but the same
dismal succession of sobs that would not have done； that struck and hurt
like a physical beating； and meanwhile the sun was getting impatient； and
I wanted my bootlace。
Inquiry below stairs revealed the cause。 Martha's brother was dead； it
seemedher sailor brother Billy； drowned in one of those strange far…off
seas it was our dream to navigate one day。 We had known Billy well； and
appreciated him。 When an approaching visit of Billy to his sister had
been announced； we had counted the days to it。 When his cheery voice
was at last heard in the kitchen and we had descended with shouts； first of
all he had to exhibit his tattooed arms； always a subject for fresh delight
and envy and awe； then he was called upon for tricks； jugglings； and
strange； fearful gymnastics； and lastly came yarns； and more yarns； and
yarns till bedtime。 There had never been any one like Billy in his own
particular sphere； and now he was drowned； they said； and Martha was
miserable； andand I couldn't get a new bootlace。 They told me that
11
… Page 12…
DREAM DAYS
Billy would never come back any more； and I stared out of the window at
the sun which came back； right enough； every day； and their news
conveyed nothing whatever to me。 Martha's sorrow hit home a little； but
only because the actual sight and sound of it gave me a dull； bad sort of
pain low down insidea pain not to be actually located。 Moreover； I was
still wanting my bootlace。
This was a poor sort of a beginning to a day that； so far as outside
conditions went； had promised so well。 I rigged up a sort of jurymast of
a bootlace with a bit of old string； and wandered off to look up the girls；
conscious of a jar and a discordance in the scheme of things。 The
moment I entered the schoolroom something in the air seemed to tell me
that here； too； matters were strained and awry。 Selina was staring
listless