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there； else he would yell； and yell himself into a fit； and come out of it and
yell again。 Yelling should be his profession； his art； his mission； his
career。 He was qualified； he was resolute； and he was in no hurry to
retire from the business。
The noisy ones of the world； if they do not always shout themselves
into the imperial purple； are sure at least of receiving attention。 If they
cannot sell everything at their own price； one thingsilencemust； at any
cost； be purchased of them。 Harold accordingly had to be consoled by
the employment of every specious fallacy and base…born trick known to
those whose doom it is to handle children。 For me their hollow cajolery
had no interest； I could pluck no consolation out of their bankrupt though
prodigal pledges I only waited till that hateful； well…known 〃Some other
time； dear！〃 told me that hope was finally dead。 Then I left the room
without any remark。 It made it worseif anything couldto hear that
stale； worn…out old phrase； still supposed by those dullards to have some
efficacy。
To nature； as usual； I drifted by instinct； and there； out of the track of
humanity； under a friendly hedge…row had my black hour unseen。 The
world was a globe no longer； space was no more filled with whirling
circuses of spheres。 That day the old beliefs rose up and asserted
themselves； and the earth was flat againditch…riddled； stagnant； and
deadly flat。 The undeviating roads crawled straight and white； elms
dressed themselves stiffly along inflexible hedges； all nature； centrifugal
no longer； sprawled flatly in lines out to its farthest edge； and I felt just
like walking out to that terminus； and dropping quietly off。 Then； as I sat
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DREAM DAYS
there； morosely chewing bits of stick； the recollection came back to me of
certain fascinating advertisements I had spelled out in the papers
advertisements of great and happy men； owning big ships of tonnage
running into four figures； who yet craved； to the extent of public
supplication； for the sympathetic co…operation of youths as apprentices。 I
did not rightly know what apprentices might be； nor whether I was yet big
enough to be styled a youth； but one thing seemed clear； that； by some
such means as this； whatever the intervening hardships； I could eventually
visit all the circuses of the worldthe circuses of merry France and gaudy
Spain； of Holland and Bohemia； of China and Peru。 Here was a plan
worth thinking out in all its bearings； for something had presently to be
done to end this intolerable state of things。
Mid…day； and even feeding…time； passed by gloomily enough； till a
small disturbance occurred which had the effect of releasing some of the
electricity with which the air was charged。 Harold； it should be
explained； was of a very different mental mould； and never brooded；
moped； nor ate his heart out over any disappointment。 One wild
outburstone dissolution of a minute into his original elements of air and
water； of tears and outcryso much insulted nature claimed。 Then he
would pull himself together； iron out his countenance with a smile； and
adjust himself to the new condition of things。
If the gods are ever grateful to man for anything； it is when he is so
good as to display a short memory。 The Olympians were never slow to
recognize this quality of Harold's； in which； indeed； their salvation lay； and
on this occasion their gratitude had taken the practical form of a fine fat
orange； tough… rinded as oranges of those days were wont to be。 This he
had eviscerated in the good old…fashioned manner； by biting out a hole in
the shoulder； inserting a lump of sugar therein； and then working it cannily
till the whole soul and body of the orange passed glorified through the
sugar into his being。 Thereupon； filled full of orange…juice and iniquity；
he conceived a deadly snare。 Having deftly patted and squeezed the
orange…skin till it resumed its original shape； he filled it up with water；
inserted a fresh lump of sugar in the orifice； and； issuing forth； blandly
proffered it to me as I sat moodily in the doorway dreaming of strange
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DREAM DAYS
wild circuses under tropic skies。
Such a stale old dodge as this would hardly have taken me in at
ordinary moments。 But Harold had reckoned rightly upon the disturbing
effect of ill…humour； and had guessed； perhaps； that I thirsted for comfort
and consolation； and would not criticise too closely the source from which
they came。 Unthinkingly I grasped the golden fraud； which collapsed at
my touch； and squirted its contents into my eyes and over my collar； till
the nethermost parts of me were damp with the water that had run down
my neck。 In an instant I had Harold down； and； with all the energy of
which I was capable； devoted myself to grinding his head into the gravel；
while he； realizing that the closure was applied； and that the time for
discussion or argument was past； sternly concentrated his powers on
kicking me in the stomach。
Some people can never allow events to work themselves out quietly。
At this juncture one of Them swooped down on the scene； pouring shrill；
misplaced abuse on both of us： on me for ill… treating my younger brother；
whereas it was distinctly I who was the injured and the deceived； on him
for the high offence of assault and battery on a clean collara collar which
I had myself deflowered and defaced； shortly before； in sheer desperate ill…
temper。 Disgusted and defiant we fled in different directions； rejoining
each other later in the kitchen…garden； and as we strolled along together；
our short feud forgotten； Harold observed； gloomily： 〃I should like to be
a cave…man； like Uncle George was tellin' us about： with a flint ha