友情提示:如果本网页打开太慢或显示不完整,请尝试鼠标右键“刷新”本网页!阅读过程发现任何错误请告诉我们,谢谢!! 报告错误
飞读中文网 返回本书目录 我的书架 我的书签 TXT全本下载 进入书吧 加入书签

liber amoris-第4章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!



 God!  How did I dwell on that word BEFORE; thinking it implied an attachment to me also; but you have since disclaimed any such meaning。  You say you have never professed more than esteem。  Yet once; when you were sitting in your old place; on my knee; embracing and fondly embraced; and I asked you if you could not love; you made answer; 〃I could easily say so; whether I did or notYOU SHOULD JUDGE BY MY ACTIONS!〃  And another time; when you were in the same posture; and I reproached you with indifference; you replied in these words; 〃Do I SEEM INDIFFERENT?〃  Was I to blame after this to indulge my passion for the loveliest of her sex?  Or what can I think?

S。  I am no prude; Sir。

H。  Yet you might be taken for one。  So your mother said; 〃It was hard if you might not indulge in a little levity。〃  She has strange notions of levity。  But levity; my dear; is quite out of character in you。  Your ordinary walk is as if you were performing some religious ceremony: you come up to my table of a morning; when you merely bring in the tea…things; as if you were advancing to the altar。  You move in minuet…time: you measure every step; as if you were afraid of offending in the smallest things。  I never hear your approach on the stairs; but by a sort of hushed silence。  When you enter the room; the Graces wait on you; and Love waves round your person in gentle undulations; breathing balm into the soul!  By Heaven; you are an angel!  You look like one at this instant!  Do I not adore youand have I merited this return?

S。  I have repeatedly answered that question。  You sit and fancy things out of your own head; and then lay them to my charge。  There is not a word of truth in your suspicions。

H。  Did I not overhear the conversation down…stairs last night; to which you were a party?  Shall I repeat it?

S。  I had rather not hear it!

H。  Or what am I to think of this story of the footman?

S。  It is false; Sir; I never did anything of the sort。

H。  Nay; when I told your mother I wished she wouldn't * * * * * * * * * (as I heard she did) she said 〃Oh; there's nothing in that; for Sarah very often * * * * * *;〃 and your doing so before company; is only a trifling addition to the sport。

S。  I'll call my mother; Sir; and she shall contradict you。

H。  Then she'll contradict herself。  But did not you boast you were 〃very persevering in your resistance to gay young men;〃 and had been 〃several times obliged to ring the bell?〃  Did you always ring it?  Or did you get into these dilemmas that made it necessary; merely by the demureness of your looks and ways?  Or had nothing else passed?  Or have you two characters; one that you palm off upon me; and another; your natural one; that you resume when you get out of the room; like an actress who throws aside her artificial part behind the scenes?  Did you not; when I was courting you on the staircase the first night Mr。 C came; beg me to desist; for if the new lodger heard us; he'd take you for a light character?  Was that all?  Were you only afraid of being TAKEN for a light character?  Oh! Sarah!

S。  I'll stay and hear this no longer。

H。  Yes; one word more。  Did you not love another?

S。  Yes; and ever shall most sincerely。

H。  Then; THAT is my only hope。  If you could feel this sentiment for him; you cannot be what you seem to me of late。  But there is another thing I had to saybe what you will; I love you to distraction!  You are the only woman that ever made me think she loved me; and that feeling was so new to me; and so delicious; that it 〃will never from my heart。〃  Thou wert to me a little tender flower; blooming in the wilderness of my life; and though thou should'st turn out a weed; I'll not fling thee from me; while I can help it。  Wert thou all that I dread to thinkwert thou a wretched wanderer in the street; covered with rags; disease; and infamy; I'd clasp thee to my bosom; and live and die with thee; my love。  Kiss me; thou little sorceress!

S。  NEVER。

H。  Then go: but remember I cannot live without younor I will not。



THE RECONCILIATION





H。  I have then lost your friendship?

S。  Nothing tends more to alienate friendship than insult。

H。  The words I uttered hurt me more than they did you。

S。  It was not words merely; but actions as well。

H。  Nothing I can say or do can ever alter my fondness for youAh; Sarah!  I am unworthy of your love: I hardly dare ask for your pity; but oh! save mesave me from your scorn: I cannot bear itit withers me like lightning。

S。  I bear no malice; Sir; but my brother; who would scorn to tell a lie for his sister; can bear witness for me that there was no truth in what you were told。

H。  I believe it; or there is no truth in woman。  It is enough for me to know that you do not return my regard; it would be too much for me to think that you did not deserve it。  But cannot you forgive the agony of the moment?

S。  I can forgive; but it is not easy to forget some things!

H。  Nay; my sweet Sarah (frown if you will; I can bear your resentment for my ill behaviour; it is only your scorn and indifference that harrow up my soul)but I was going to ask; if you had been engaged to be married to any one; and the day was fixed; and he had heard what I did; whether he could have felt any true regard for the character of his bride; his wife; if he had not been hurt and alarmed as I was?

S。  I believe; actual contracts of marriage have sometimes been broken off by unjust suspicions。

H。  Or had it been your old friend; what do you think he would have said in my case?

S。  He would never have listened to anything of the sort。

H。  He had greater reasons for confidence than I have。  But it is your repeated cruel rejection of me that drives me almost to madness。  Tell me; love; is there not; besides your attachment to him; a repugnance to me?

S。  No; none whatever。

H。  I fear there is an original dislike; which no efforts of mine can overcome。

S。  It is not youit is my feelings with respect to another; which are unalterable。

H。  And yet you have no hope of ever being his?  And yet you accuse me of being romantic in my sentiments。

S。  I have indeed long ceased to hope; but yet I sometimes hope against hope。

H。  My love! were it in my power; thy hopes should be fulfilled to…morrow。  Next to my own; there is nothing that could give me so much satisfaction as to see thine realized!  Do I not love thee; when I can feel such an interest in thy love for another?  It was that which first wedded my very soul to you。  I would give worlds for a share in a heart so rich in pure affection!

S。  And yet I did not tell you of the circumstance to raise myself in your opinion。

H。  You are a sublime little thing!  And yet; as you have no prospects there; I cannot help thinking; the best thing would be to do as I have said。

S。  I would never marry a man I did not love beyond all the world。

H。  I should be satisfied with less than thatwith the love; or regard; or whatever you call it; you have shown me before marriage; if that has only been sincere。  You would hardly like me less afterwards。

S。  Endearments would; I should think; increase regard; where there was love beforehand; but th
返回目录 上一页 下一页 回到顶部 0 0
未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!
温馨提示: 温看小说的同时发表评论,说出自己的看法和其它小伙伴们分享也不错哦!发表书评还可以获得积分和经验奖励,认真写原创书评 被采纳为精评可以获得大量金币、积分和经验奖励哦!