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got to come straight！ and if possible； so that I may finish
D。 BALFOUR in time for the same mail。 What a getting
upstairs！ This is Flaubert outdone。 Belle； Graham； and
Lloyd leave to…day on a malaga down the coast； to be absent a
week or so： this leaves Fanny； me； and …； who seems a nice；
kindly fellow。
JUNE 2ND。
I am nearly dead with dyspepsia； over…smoking； and
unremunerative overwork。 Last night； I went to bed by seven；
woke up again about ten for a minute to find myself light…
headed and altogether off my legs； went to sleep again； and
woke this morning fairly fit。 I have crippled on to p。 101；
but I haven't read it yet； so do not boast。 What kills me is
the frame of mind of one of the characters； I cannot get it
through。 Of course that does not interfere with my total
inability to write； so that yesterday I was a living half…
hour upon a single clause and have a gallery of variants that
would surprise you。 And this sort of trouble （which I cannot
avoid） unfortunately produces nothing when done but
alembication and the far…fetched。 Well； read it with mercy！
8 A。M。
Going to bed。 Have read it； and believe the chapter
practically done at last。 But lord！ it has been a business。
JULY 3RD； 8。15。
The draft is finished； the end of Chapter II。 and the tale；
and I have only eight pages WIEDERZUARBEITEN。 This is just a
cry of joy in passing。
10。30。
Knocked out of time。 Did 101 and 102。 Alas； no more to…day；
as I have to go down town to a meeting。 Just as well though；
as my thumb is about done up。
SUNDAY； JUNE 4TH。
Now for a little snippet of my life。 Yesterday； 12。30； in a
heavenly day of sun and trade； I mounted my horse and set
off。 A boy opens my gate for me。 'Sleep and long life！ A
blessing on your journey；' says he。 And I reply 'Sleep； long
life！ A blessing on the house！' Then on； down the lime
lane； a rugged； narrow； winding way； that seems almost as if
it was leading you into Lyonesse； and you might see the head
and shoulders of a giant looking in。 At the corner of the
road I meet the inspector of taxes； and hold a diplomatic
interview with him； he wants me to pay taxes on the new
house； I am informed I should not till next year； and we
part； RE INFECTA； he promising to bring me decisions； I
assuring him that； if I find any favouritism； he will find me
the most recalcitrant tax…payer on the island。 Then I have a
talk with an old servant by the wayside。 A little further I
pass two children coming up。 'Love！' say I； 'are you two
chiefly…proceeding inland？' and they say； 'Love！ yes！' and
the interesting ceremony is finished。 Down to the post
office； where I find Vitrolles and （Heaven reward you！） the
White Book； just arrived per UPOLU； having gone the wrong way
round； by Australia； also six copies of ISLAND NIGHTS'
ENTERTAINMENTS。 Some of Weatherall's illustrations are very
clever； but O Lord！ the lagoon！ I did say it was 'shallow；'
but； O dear； not so shallow as that a man could stand up in
it！ I had still an hour to wait for my meeting； so
Postmaster Davis let me sit down in his room and I had a
bottle of beer in； and read A GENTLEMAN OF FRANCE。 Have you
seen it coming out in LONGMAN'S？ My dear Colvin！ 'tis the
most exquisite pleasure； a real chivalrous yarn； like the
Dumas' and yet unlike。 Thereafter to the meeting of the five
newspaper proprietors。 Business transacted； I have to gallop
home and find the boys waiting to be paid at the doorstep。
MONDAY； 5TH。
Yesterday； Sunday； the Rev。 Dr。 Browne； secretary to the
Wesleyan Mission； and the man who made the war in the Western
Islands and was tried for his life in Fiji； came up； and we
had a long； important talk about Samoa。 O； if I could only
talk to the home men！ But what would it matter？ none of them
know； none of them care。 If we could only have Macgregor
here with his schooner； you would hear of no more troubles in
Samoa。 That is what we want； a man that knows and likes the
natives； QUI PAYE DE SA PERSONNE； AND is not afraid of
hanging when necessary。 We don't want bland Swedish humbugs；
and fussy； fostering German barons。 That way the maelstrom
lies； and we shall soon be in it。
I have to…day written 103 and 104； all perfectly wrong； and
shall have to rewrite them。 This tale is devilish； and
Chapter XI。 the worst of the lot。 The truth is of course
that I am wholly worked out； but it's nearly done； and shall
go somehow according to promise。 I go against all my gods；
and say it is NOT WORTH WHILE to massacre yourself over the
last few pages of a rancid yarn； that the reviewers will
quite justly tear to bits。 As for D。B。； no hope； I fear；
this mail； but we'll see what the afternoon does for me。
4。15。
Well； it's done。 Those tragic 16 pp。 are at last finished；
and I have put away thirty…two pages of chips； and have spent
thirteen days about as nearly in Hell as a man could expect
to live through。 It's done； and of course it ain't worth
while； and who cares？ There it is； and about as grim a tale
as was ever written； and as grimy； and as hateful。
SACRED
TO THE MEMORY
OF
J。 L。 HUISH；
BORN 1856； AT HACKNEY；
LONDON；
Accidentally killed upon this
Island；
10th September； 1889。
TUESDAY； 6。
I am exulting to do nothing。 It pours with rain from the
westward； very unusual kind of weather； I was standing out on
the little verandah in front of my room this morning； and
there went through me or over me a wave of extraordinary and
apparently baseless emotion。 I literally staggered。 And
then the explanation came； and I knew I had found a frame of
mind and body that belonged to Scotland； and particularly to
the neighbourhood of Callander。 Very odd these identities of
sensation； and the world of connotations implied； highland
huts； and peat smoke； and the brown； swirling rivers； and wet
clothes； and whiskey； and the romance of the past； and that
indescribable bite of the whole thing at a man's heart； which
is … or rather lies at the bottom of … a story。
I don't know if you are a Barbey d'Aurevilly…an。 I am。 I
have a great delight in his Norman stories。 Do you know the
CHEVALIER DES TOUCHES and L'ENSORCELEE？ They are admirable；
they reek of the soil and the past。 But I was rather
thinking just now of LE RIDEAU CRAMOISI； and its adorable
setting of the stopped coach； the dark street； the home…going
in the inn yard； and the red blind illuminated。 Without
doubt； THERE was an identity of sensation； one of those
conjunctions in life that had filled Barbey full to the brim；
and permanently bent his memory。
I wonder exceedingly if I have done anything at all good； and
who can tell me？ and why should I wish to know？ In so little
a