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worked so much of the harm。 Remorse has before now been known to
produce good results。 The United States treasury yearly receives large
sums of 〃conscience money。〃
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CHAPTER 7 … Worldly Color…
Blindness
MYRIADS of people have no ear for music and derive but little
pleasure from sweet sounds。 Strange as it may appear； many gifted and
sensitive mortals have been unable to distinguish one note from another；
Apollo's harmonious art remaining for them； as for the elder Dumas； only
an 〃expensive noise。〃
Another large class find it impossible to discriminate between colors。
Men afflicted in this way have even become painters of reputation。 I knew
one of the latter； who； when a friend complimented him on having caught
the exact shade of a pink toilet in one of his portraits； answered； 〃Does
that dress look pink to you？ I thought it was green！〃 and yet he had copied
what he saw correctly。
Both these classes are to be pitied； but are not the cause of much
suffering to others。 It is annoying； I grant you； to be torn asunder in a
collision； because red and green lights on the switches combined into a
pleasing harmony before the brakeman's eyes。 The tone…deaf gentleman
who insists on whistling a popular melody is almost as trying as the lady
suffering from the same weakness； who shouts； 〃Ninon； Ninon； que fais…tu
de la vie！〃 until you feel impelled to cry； 〃Que faites…vous； madame； with
the key？〃 Examinations now keep daltonic gentlemen out of locomotives；
and ladies who have lost their 〃keys〃 are apt to find their friends' pianos
closed。 What we cannot guard against is a variety of the genus HOMO
which suffers from 〃social color… blindness。〃 These well…meaning mortals
form one of the hardest trials that society is heir to； for the disease is
incurable； and as it is almost impossible to escape from them； they
continue to spread dismay and confusion along their path to the bitter end。
This malady； which； as far as I know； has not been diagnosed； invades
all circles； and is； curiously enough； rampant among well…born and
apparently well…bred people。
Why is it that the entertainments at certain houses are always dull
failures； while across the way one enjoys such agreeable evenings？ Both
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THE WAYS OF MEN
hosts are gentlemen； enjoying about the same amount of 〃unearned
increment；〃 yet the atmosphere of their houses is radically different。 This
contrast cannot be traced to the dulness or brilliancy of the entertainer and
his wife。 Neither can it be laid at the door of inexperience； for the worst
offenders are often old hands at the game。
The only explanation possible is that the owners of houses where one
is bored are socially color…blind； as cheerfully unconscious of their
weakness as the keyless lady and the whistling abomination。
Since increasing wealth has made entertaining general and lavish； this
malady has become more and more apparent； until one is tempted to
parody Mme。 Roland's dying exclamation and cry； 〃Hospitality！ hospitility！
what crimes are committed in thy name！〃
Entertaining is for many people but an excuse for ostentation。 For
others it is a means to an end； while a third variety apparently keep a debit
and credit account with their acquaintances … in books of double entry； so
that no errors may occur … and issue invitations like receipts； only in return
for value received。
We can rarely tell what is passing in the minds of people about us。
Some of those mentioned above may feel a vague pleasure when their
rooms are filled with a chattering crowd of more or less well…assorted
guests； if that is denied them； can find consolation for the outlay in an
indefinite sensation of having performed a duty； … what duty； or to whom；
they would； however； find it difficult to define。
Let the novice flee from the allurements of such a host。 Old hands
know him and have got him on their list； escaping when escape is possible；
for he will mate the green youth with the red frump； or like a premature
millennium force the lion and the lamb to lie down together； and imagine
he has given unmixed pleasure to both。
One would expect that great worldly lights might learn by experience
how fatal bungled entertainments can be； but such is not the case。 Many
well…intentioned people continue sacrificing their friends on the altar of
hospitality year after year with never a qualm of conscience or a sensation
of pity for their victims。 One practical lady of my acquaintance asks her
guests alphabetically； commencing the season and the first leaf of her
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THE WAYS OF MEN
visiting list simultaneously and working steadily on through both to
〃finis。〃 If you are an A； you will meet only A's at her table； with perhaps
one or two B's thrown in to fill up； you may sit next to your mother…in…law
for all the hostess cares。 She has probably never heard that the number of
guests at table should not exceed that of the muses； or if by any chance she
has heard it； does not care； and considers such a rule old…fashioned and not
appropriate to our improved modern methods of entertaining。
One wonders what possible satisfaction a host can derive from
providing fifty people with unwholesome food and drink at a fixed date。 It
is a physical impossibility for him to have more than a passing word with
his guests； and ten to one the unaccustomed number has upset the internal
arrangements of his household； so that the dinner will； in consequence； be
poor and the service defective。
A side…light on this question came to me recently when an exceedingly
frank husband confided to a circle of his friends at the club the scheme his
wife； who； though on pleasure bent； was of a frugal mind； had adopted to
balance her social ledger。
〃As we dine out constantly through the year；〃 remarked Benedict；
〃some return is necessary。 So we wait until the height