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〃Where hast thou been？〃 she sed。 〃Hast been gathering shells
from youth to age； and then leaving them like a che…eild？ Why
this tremors？ Why these Sadfulness？〃
〃Mabeyuel！〃 he cried。 〃Mabeyuel！ They've Drafted me into the
Army！〃
An orderly Surgeant now appears and says； 〃Come； Philander； let's
be a…marching；〃 And he tore her from his embrace （P。's） and
marched the conscript to the Examining Surgeon's office。
Mabel fainted in two places。 It was worse than Brother's
Fainting at the Door。
CHAPTER III。THE CONSCRIPT。
Philander Reed hadn't three hundred dollars； being a dead…broken
Reed； so he must either become one of the noble Band who are
Coming； Father Abraham； three hundred thousand more； or skedaddle
across the St。 Lawrence River to the Canada Line。 As his
opinions had recently undergone a radical change； he chose the
latter course； and was soon Afloat； afloat； on the swift rolling
tide。 〃Row； brothers； row；〃 he cried； 〃the stream runs fast； the
Sergeant is near； and the Zamination's past； and I'm a able…
bodied man。〃
Landing； he at once imprinted a conservative kiss on the Canada
Line； and feelingly asked himself； 〃Who will care for Mother now？
But I propose to stick it out on this Line if it takes all
Summer。〃
CHAPTER IV。THE MEETING。
It was evening； IT was。 The Star of the Evening； Beautiful Star；
shone brilliantly； adorning the sky with those 〃Neutral〃 tints
which have characterized all British skies ever since this War
broke out。
Philander sat on the Canada Line； playing with his Yard…stick；
and perhaps about to take the measure of an unmade piece of
calico； when Mabel； with a wild cry of joy； sprang from a small
boat to his side。 The meeting was too much。 They divided a good
square faint between them this time。 At last Philander found his
utterance； and said； 〃Do they think of me at Home； do they ever
think of me？〃
〃No；〃 she replied； 〃but they do at the recruiting office。〃
〃Ha！ 'tis well。〃
〃Nay； dearest；〃 Mabel pleaded； 〃come home and go to the war like
a man！ I will take your place in the Dry Goods store。 True； a
musket is a little heavier than a yardstick； but isn't it a
rather more manly weapon？〃
〃I don't see it；〃 was Philander's reply； 〃besides； this war isn't
conducted accordin' to the Constitution and Union。 When it is
when it is； Mabeyuel； I will return and enlist as a
Convalescent！〃
〃Then； sir；〃 she said； with much American disgust in her
countenance； 〃then； sir； farewell！〃
〃Farewell！〃 he said； 〃and When this Cruel War is Over； pray that
we may meet again！〃
〃Nary！〃 cried Mabel； her eyes flashing warm fire；〃nary。 None
but the Brave deserve the Sanitary Fair！ A man who will desert
his country in its hour of trial would drop Faro checks into the
Contribution Box on Sunday。 I hain't got time to tarryI hain't
got time to stay！but here's a gift at parting： a White
Feather： wear it in your hat！〃 and She was Gone from his gaze；
like a beautiful dream。
Stung with remorse and mosquitoes； this miserable young man； in a
fit of frenzy； unsheathed his glittering dry…goods scissors； cut
off four yards （good measure） of the Canada Line； and hanged
himself on a Willow Tree。 Requiescat in Tape。 His stick drifted
to My Country； 'tis of thee！ And may be seen； in connection with
many others； on the stage of any New York theatre every night。
The Canadians won't have any line pretty soon。 The skedaddlers
will steal it。 Then the Canadians won't know whether they're in
the United States or not； in which case they may be drafted。
Mabel married a Brigadier…General； and is happy。
3。5。 A ROMANCEONLY A MECHANIC。
In a sumptuously furnished parlor in Fifth Avenue； New York； sat
a proud and haughty belle。 Her name was Isabel Sawtelle。 Her
father was a millionaire； and his ships； richly laden； ploughed
many a sea。
By the side of Isabel Sawtelle sat a young man with a clear；
beautiful eye； and a massive brow。
〃I must go；〃 he sed； 〃the foreman will wonder at my absence。〃
〃The FOREMAN？〃 asked Isabel in a tone of surprise。
〃Yes； the foreman of the shop where I work。〃
〃ForemanshopWORK！ What！ do YOU work。〃
〃Aye； Miss Sawtelle！ I am a cooper！〃 and his eyes flashed with
honest pride。
〃What's that？〃 she asked； 〃it is something about barrels； isn't
it！〃
〃It is！〃 he said； with a flashing nostril。 〃And hogsheads。〃
〃Then go！〃 she said in a tone of disdain〃go AWAY！〃
〃Ha！〃 he cried； 〃you spurn me； then； because I am a mechanic。
Well； be it so！ though the time will come； Isabel Sawtelle；〃 he
added； and nothing could exceed his looks at this moment〃when
you will bitterly remember the cooper you now so cruelly cast
off？ FAREWELL！〃
。 。 。 。
Years rolled on。 Isabel Sawtelle married a miserable aristocrat；
who recently died of delirium tremens。 Her father failed； and is
now a raving maniac； and wants to bite little children。 All her
brothers （except one） were sent to the penitentiary for burglary；
and her mother peddles clams that are stolen for her by little
George； her only son that has his freedom。 Isabel's sister
Bianca rides an immoral spotted horse in the circus； HER husband
having long since been hanged for murdering his own uncle on his
mother's side。 Thus we see that it is always best to marry a
mechanic。
3。6。 ROBERTO THE ROVER：A TALE OF SEA AND SHORE。
CHAPTER I。FRANCE。
Our story opens in the early part of the year 17。 France was
rocking wildly from centre to circumference。 The arch despot and
unscrupulous man； Richard the III。； was trembling like an aspen
leaf upon his throne。 He had been successful； through the
valuable aid of Richelieu and Sir。 Wm。 Donn； in destroying the
Orleans Dysentery； but still he trembled？ O'Mulligan； the
snake…eater of Ireland； and Schnappsgoot of Holland； a retired
dealer in gin and sardines； had united their forcessome nineteen
men and a brace of bull pups in alland were overtly at work；
their object being to oust the tyrant。 O'Mulligan was a young man
between fifty…three years of age and was chiefly distinguished
for being the son of his aunt on his great grandfather's side。
Schnappsgoot was a man of liberal education； having passed three
weeks at Oberlin College。 He was a man of great hardihood； also；
and would frequently read an entire column of 〃railway matters〃
in the 〃Cleveland Herald〃 without shrieking with agony。
CHAPTER II。THE KING。
The tyrant Richard the III。 （late Mr。 Gloster） sat upon his
throne in the Palace d' St。 Cloud。 He was dressed in his best
clothes； and gorgeous trappings surrounded him everywhere。
Courtiers； in glittering and golden armor； stood ready at his
beck。 He sat moodily for a while； when suddenly his sword
flashed from its silver scabbard； and he shouted
〃Slaves； some wine； ho！〃
The words had scarcely escaped his lips ere a bucket of champagne
and a hoe were placed before him。
As the king raised the bucket to his lips； a deep voice near by；
proceeding from the mouth of the noble Count Staghisnibs； cried
〃Drink hearty； old fe