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trouble of conversing with them。 Mrs。 Hicking I found too pale and
fragile for a workingman's wife； and I formed a mean opinion of her
intelligence from her pride in the baby； which was a very ordinary
one。 She created quite a vulgar scene when it was brought to her；
though she had given me her word not to do so； what irritated me even
more than her tears being her ill…bred apology that she 〃had been
'feared baby wouldn't know her again。〃 I would have told her they
didn't know any one for years had I not been afraid of the girl Jenny；
who dandled the infant on her knees and talked to it as if it
understood。 She kept me on tenter…hooks by asking it offensive
questions； such as； 〃 'Oo know who give me that bonnet？〃 and answering
them herself； 〃It was the pretty gentleman there；〃 and several times I
had to affect sleep because she announced； 〃Kiddy wants to kiss the
pretty gentleman。〃
Irksome as all this necessarily was to a man of taste； I suffered even
more when we reached our destination。 As we drove through the village
the girl Jenny uttered shrieks of delight at the sight of flowers
growing up the cottage walls； and declared they were 〃just like a
music…'all without the drink license。〃 As my horses required a rest； I
was forced to abandon my intention of dropping these persons at their
lodgings and returning to town at once； and I could not go to the inn
lest I should meet inquisitive acquaintances。 Disagreeable
circumstances； therefore； compelled me to take tea with a waiter's
familyclose to a window too； through which I could see the girl
Jenny talking excitedly to the villagers； and telling them； I felt
certain； that I had been good to William。 I had a desire to go out and
put myself right with those people。
William's long connection with the club should have given him some
manners； but apparently his class cannot take them on； for； though he
knew I regarded his thanks as an insult； he looked them when he was
not speaking them； and hardly had he sat down； by my orders； than he
remembered that I was a member of the club； and jumped up。 Nothing is
in worse form than whispering； yet again and again； when he thought I
was not listening； he whispered to Mrs。 Hicking； 〃You don't feel
faint？〃 or 〃How are you now？〃 He was also in extravagant glee because
she ate two cakes （it takes so little to put these people in good
spirits）； and when she said she felt like another being already the
fellow's face charged me with the change。 I could not but conclude；
from the way Mrs。 Hicking let the baby pound her； that she was
stronger than she had pretended。
I remained longer than was necessary； because I had something to say
to William which I knew he would misunderstand； and so I put off
saying it。 But when he announced that it was time for him to return to
London；at which his wife suddenly paled； so that he had to sign to
her not to break down；I delivered the message。
〃William；〃 I said； 〃the head waiter asked me to say that you could
take a fortnight's holiday just now。 Your wages will be paid as
usual。〃
Confound them！ William had me by the hand； and his wife was in tears
before I could reach the door。
〃Is it your doing again； sir？〃 William cried。
〃William！〃 I said； fiercely。
〃We owe everything to you；〃 he insisted。 〃The port wine〃
〃Because I had no room for it in my cellar。〃
〃The money for the nurse in London〃
〃Because I objected to being waited on by a man who got no sleep。〃
〃These lodgings〃
〃Because I wanted to do something for my old nurse。〃
〃And now； sir； a fortnight's holiday！〃
〃Good…bye； William！〃 I said； in a fury。
But before I could get away Mrs。 Hicking signed to William to leave
the room； and then she kissed my hand。 She said something to me。 It
was about my wife。 Somehow I What business had William to tell her
about my wife？
They are all back in Drury Lane now； and William tells me that his
wife sings at her work just as she did eight years ago。 I have no
interest in this； and try to check his talk of it； but such people
have no sense of propriety； and he even speaks of the girl Jenny； who
sent me lately a gaudy pair of worsted gloves worked by her own hand。
The meanest advantage they took of my weakness； however； was in
calling their baby after me。 I have an uncomfortable suspicion； too；
that William has given the other waiters his version of the affair；
but I feel safe so long as it does not reach the committee。
THE BLACK POODLE
BY
F。 ANSTEY
I have set myself the task of relating in the course of this story；
without suppressing or altering a single detail； the most painful and
humiliating episode of my life。
I do this； not because it will give me the least pleasure； but simply
because it affords me an opportunity of extenuating myself； which has
hitherto been wholly denied to me。
As a general rule； I am quite aware that to publish a lengthy
explanation of one's conduct in any questionable transaction is not
the best means of recovering a lost reputation； but in my own case
there is one to whom I shall nevermore be permitted to justify by word
of moutheven if I found myself able to attempt it。 And as she could
not possibly think worse of me than she does at present； I write this；
knowing it can do me no harm； and faintly hoping that it may come to
her notice and suggest a doubt whether I am quite so unscrupulous a
villain； so consummate a hypocrite； as I have been forced to appear in
her eyes。
The bare chance of such a result makes me perfectly indifferent to all
else； I cheerfully expose to the derision of the whole reading world
the story of my weakness and my shame； since by doing so I may
possibly rehabilitate myself somewhat in the good opinion of one
person。
Having said so much； I will begin my confession without further delay。
My name is Algernon Weatherhead； and I may add that I am in one of the
government departments； that I am an only son； and live at home with
my mother。
We had had a house at Hammersmith until just before the period covered
by this history； when； our lease expiring； my mother decided that my
health required country air at the close of the day； and so we took a
〃desirable villa residence〃 on one of the many new building estates
which have lately sprung up in such profusion in the home counties。
We have called it 〃Wistaria Villa。〃 It is a pretty little place； the
last of a row of detached villas； each with its tiny rustic carriage…
gate and gravel sweep in front； and lawn enough for a tennis…court
behind； which lines the road leading over the hill to the railway…
station。
I could certainly have wished that our landlord； shortly after giving
us the agreement； could have found some other place to hang himself in
than one of our attics； for the consequence was that a housemaid left
us in violent hysterics about every two months； havin