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english stories-london-第24章

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to know you; and I asked one of the students who you were。 He told me

you were a misanthrope。 Then I did not care so much about knowing you;

until one day you spoke to me about my painting; and that was the

beginning of our friendship。〃



〃Forty years ago;〃 he said; sadly; 〃the friend of my boyhood deceived

me。 I had not thought it possible that he could be false to me。 He

screened himself behind me; and became prosperous and respected at the

expense of my honour。 I vowed I would never again make a friend。 A few

years later; when I was beginning to hold up my head; the woman whom I

loved deceived me。 Then I put from me all affection and all love。

Greater natures than mine are better able to bear these troubles; but

my heart contracted and withered up。〃



He paused for a moment; many recollections overpowering him。 Then he

went on telling her the history of his life; unfolding to her the

story of his hopes and ambitions; describing to her the very home

where he was born; and the dark…eyed sister whom he had loved; and

with whom he had played over the daisied fields; and through the

carpeted woods; and all among the richly tinted bracken。 One day he

was told she was dead; and that he must never speak her name; but he

spoke it all the day and all the night;Beryl; nothing but Beryl;

and he looked for her in the fields and in the woods and among the

bracken。 It seemed as if he had unlocked the casket of his heart;

closed for so many years; and as if all the memories of the past and

all the secrets of his life were rushing out; glad to be free once

more; and grateful for the open air of sympathy。



〃Beryl was as swift as a deer!〃 he exclaimed。 〃You would have laughed

to see her on the moor。 Ah; it was hard to give up all the thoughts of

meeting her again。 They told me I should see her in heaven; but I did

not care about heaven。 I wanted Beryl on earth; as I knew her; a merry

laughing sister。 I think you are right: we don't forget; we become

resigned in a dead; dull kind of way。〃



Suddenly he said; 〃I don't know why I have told you all this。 And yet

it has been such a pleasure to me。 You are the only person to whom I

could have spoken about myself; for no one else but you would have

cared。〃



〃Don't you think;〃 she said gently; 〃that you made a mistake in

letting your experiences embitter you? Because you had been unlucky in

one or two instances it did not follow that all the world was against

you。 Perhaps you unconsciously put yourself against all the world; and

therefore saw every one in an unfavourable light。 It seems so easy to

do that。 Trouble comes to most people; doesn't it? And your philosophy

should have taught you to make the best of it。 At least; that is my

notion of the value of philosophy。〃



She spoke hesitatingly; as though she gave utterance to these words

against her will。



〃I am sure you are right; child;〃 he said; eagerly。



He put his hands to his eyes; but he could not keep back the tears。



〃I have been such a lonely old man;〃 he sobbed; 〃no one can tell what

a lonely; loveless life mine has been。 If I were not so old and so

tired I should like to begin all over again。〃



He sobbed for many minutes; and she did not know what to say to him of

comfort; but she took his hand within her own; and gently caressed it;

as one might do to a little child in pain。 He looked up and smiled

through his tears。



〃You have been very good to me;〃 he said; 〃and I dare say you have

thought me ungrateful。 You mended my coat for me one morning; and not

a day has passed but that I have looked at that darn and thought of

you。 I liked to remember that you had done it for me。 But you have

done far more than this for me: you have put some sweetness into my

life。 Whatever becomes of me hereafter; I shall never be able to think

of my life on earth as anything but beautiful; because you thought

kindly of me and acted kindly for me。 The other night; when this

terrible pain came over me; I wished you were near me; I wished to

hear your voice。 There is very beautiful music in your voice。〃



〃I would have come to you gladly;〃 she said; smiling quietly at him。

〃You must make a promise that when you feel ill again you will send

for me。 Then you will see what a splendid nurse I am; and how soon you

will become strong and well under my care; strong enough to paint many

more pictures; each one better than the last。 Now will you promise?〃



〃Yes;〃 he said; and he raised her hand reverently to his lips。



〃You are not angry with me for doing that?〃 he asked; suddenly。 〃I

should not like to vex you。〃



〃I am not vexed;〃 she answered; kindly。



〃Then perhaps I may kiss it once more?〃 he asked。



〃Yes;〃 she answered; and again he raised her hand to his lips。



〃Thank you;〃 he said quietly; 〃that was kind of you。 Do you see that

broken sun…ray yonder? Is it not golden? I find it very pleasant to

sit here; and I am quite happy; and almost free from pain。 Lately I

have been troubled with a dull thudding pain near my heart; but now I

feel so strong that I believe I shall finish that Andrea del Sarto

after all。〃



〃Of course you will;〃 she answered; cheerily; 〃and I shall have to

confess that yours is better than mine! I am quite willing to yield

the palm to you。〃



〃I must alter the expression of the mouth;〃 he replied。 〃That is the

part which has worried me。 I don't think I told you that I have had a

commission to copy Rembrandt's 'Old Jew。' I must set to work on that

next week。〃



〃But you have given me your palette and brushes!〃 she laughed。



〃You must be generous enough to lend them to me;〃 he said; smiling。

〃By the way; I intend to give you my books; all of them。 Some day I

must show them to you。 I especially value my philosophical books; they

have been my faithful companions through many years。 I believe you do

not read Greek。 That is a pity; because you would surely enjoy

Aristotle。 I think I must teach you Greek; it would be an agreeable

legacy to leave you when I pass away into the Great Silence。〃



〃I should like to learn;〃 she said; wondering to hear him speak so

unreservedly。 It seemed as if some vast barrier had been rolled aside;

and as if she were getting to know him better; having been allowed to

glance into his past life; to sympathise with his past mistakes; and

with the failure of his ambitions; and with the deadening of his

heart。



〃You must read AEschylus;〃 he continued; enthusiastically; 〃and; if I

mistake not; the Agamemnon will be an epoch in your life。 You will

find that all these studies will serve to ennoble your art; and you

will be able to put mind into your work; and not merely form and

colour。 Do you know; I feel so well that I believe I shall not only

live to finish Andrea del Sarto; but also to smoke another pipe?〃



〃You have been too rash to…day;〃 she laughed; 〃giving away your pipe

and pouch; your palette and brushes; in this reckless manner! I must
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