按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
outraged love had been translated into a form of strug…
gle with nature； understood very well that； for that man
whose whole life had been conditioned by action； there
could exist no other expression for all the emotions； that；
to voluntarily cease venturing； doing； enduring； for his
child's sake； would have been exactly like plucking his
warm love for her out of his living heart。 Something
too monstrous； too impossible； even to conceive。
Captain Whalley had not changed his attitude； that
seemed to express something of shame； sorrow； and
defiance。
〃I have even deceived you。 If it had not been for
that word 'esteem。' These are not the words for me。
I would have lied to you。 Haven't I lied to you？
Weren't you going to trust your property on board this
very trip？〃
〃I have a floating yearly policy；〃 Mr。 Van Wyk said
almost unwittingly； and was amazed at the sudden crop…
ping up of a commercial detail。
〃The ship is unseaworthy； I tell you。 The policy
would be invalid if it were known 。 。 。〃
〃We shall share the guilt； then。〃
〃Nothing could make mine less；〃 said Captain
Whalley。
He had not dared to consult a doctor； the man would
have perhaps asked who he was； what he was doing；
Massy might have heard something。 He had lived on
without any help； human or divine。 The very prayers
stuck in his throat。 What was there to pray for？ and
death seemed as far as ever。 Once he got into his cabin
he dared not come out again； when he sat down he dared
not get up； he dared not raise his eyes to anybody's
face； he felt reluctant to look upon the sea or up to
the sky。 The world was fading before his great fear
of giving himself away。 The old ship was his last
friend； he was not afraid of her； he knew every inch
of her deck； but at her too he hardly dared to look； for
fear of finding he could see less than the day before。
A great incertitude enveloped him。 The horizon was
gone； the sky mingled darkly with the sea。 Who was
this figure standing over yonder？ what was this thing
lying down there？ And a frightful doubt of the reality
of what he could see made even the remnant of sight
that remained to him an added torment； a pitfall always
open for his miserable pretense。 He was afraid to
stumble inexcusably over somethingto say a fatal Yes
or No to a question。 The hand of God was upon him；
but it could not tear him away from his child。 And；
as if in a nightmare of humiliation； every featureless
man seemed an enemy。
He let his hand fall heavily on the table。 Mr。 Van
Wyk； arms down； chin on breast； with a gleam of white
teeth pressing on the lower lip； meditated on Sterne's
〃The game's up。〃
〃The Serang of course does not know。〃
〃Nobody；〃 said Captain Whalley； with assurance。
〃Ah yes。 Nobody。 Very well。 Can you keep it up
to the end of the trip？ That is the last under the agree…
ment with Massy。〃
Captain Whalley got up and stood erect； very stately；
with the great white beard lying like a silver breastplate
over the awful secret of his heart。 Yes； that was the
only hope there was for him of ever seeing her again；
of securing the money； the last he could do for her；
before he crept away somewhereuseless； a burden； a
reproach to himself。 His voice faltered。
〃Think of it！ Never see her any more： the only
human being besides myself now on earth that can re…
member my wife。 She's just like her mother。 Lucky
the poor woman is where there are no tears shed over
those they loved on earth and that remain to pray not
to be led into temptationbecause； I suppose； the
blessed know the secret of grace in God's dealings with
His created children。〃
He swayed a little； said with austere dignity
〃I don't。 I know only the child He has given me。〃
And he began to walk。 Mr。 Van Wyk； jumping up；
saw the full meaning of the rigid head； the hesitating
feet； the vaguely extended hand。 His heart was beat…
ing fast； he moved a chair aside； and instinctively ad…
vanced as if to offer his arm。 But Captain Whalley
passed him by； making for the stairs quite straight。
〃He could not see me at all out of his line；〃 Van Wyk
thought； with a sort of awe。 Then going to the head
of the stairs； he asked a little tremulously
〃What is it likelike a mistlike 。 。 。〃
Captain Whalley； half…way down； stopped； and turned
round undismayed to answer。
〃It is as if the light were ebbing out of the world。
Have you ever watched the ebbing sea on an open
stretch of sands withdrawing farther and farther away
from you？ It is like thisonly there will be no flood
to follow。 Never。 It is as if the sun were growing
smaller； the stars going out one by one。 There can't be
many left that I can see by this。 But I haven't had the
courage to look of late 。 。 。〃 He must have been able
to make out Mr。 Van Wyk； because he checked him by
an authoritative gesture and a stoical
〃I can get about alone yet。〃
It was as if he had taken his line； and would accept no
help from men； after having been cast out； like a pre…
sumptuous Titan； from his heaven。 Mr。 Van Wyk； ar…
rested； seemed to count the footsteps right out of ear…
shot。 He walked between the tables； tapping smartly
with his heels； took up a paper…knife； dropped it after
a vague glance along the blade； then happening upon
the piano； struck a few chords again and again； vigor…
ously； standing up before the keyboard with an atten…
tive poise of the head like a piano…tuner； closing it； he
pivoted on his heels brusquely； avoided the little terrier
sleeping trustfully on crossed forepaws； came upon the
stairs next； and； as though he had lost his balance on
the top step； ran down headlong out of the house。 His
servants； beginning to clear the table； heard him mutter
to himself （evil words no doubt） down there； and then
after a pause go away with a strolling gait in the direc…
tion of the wharf。
The bulwarks of the Sofala lying alongside the bank
made a low； black wall on the undulating contour of the
shore。 Two masts and a funnel uprose from behind it
with a great rake； as if about to fall： a solid； square
elevation in the middle bore the ghostly shapes of white
boats； the curves of davits； lines of rail and stanchions；
all confused and mingling darkly everywhere； but low
down； amidships； a single lighted