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impatience； begot a horror in thee。 'Tis an infirmity that punishes the
members by which thou hast most offended。 Thou art a conscientious
fellow；〃
〃Quae venit indigne poena； dolenda venit：〃
＇〃We are entitled to complain of a punishment that we have not
deserved。〃Ovid； Heroid。； v。 8。＇
〃consider this chastisement： 'tis very easy in comparison of others； and
inflicted with a paternal tenderness： do but observe how late it comes；
it only seizes on and incommodes that part of thy life which is； one way
and another； sterile and lost； having； as it were by composition； given
time for the licence and pleasures of thy youth。 The fear and the
compassion that the people have of this disease serve thee for matter of
glory； a quality whereof if thou bast thy judgment purified； and that thy
reason has somewhat cured it； thy friends notwithstanding； discern some
tincture in thy complexion。 'Tis a pleasure to hear it said of oneself
what strength of mind； what patience！ Thou art seen to sweat with pain；
to turn pale and red； to tremble； to vomit blood； to suffer strange
contractions and convulsions； at times to let great tears drop from thine
eyes； to urine thick； black； and dreadful water； or to have it suppressed
by some sharp and craggy stone； that cruelly pricks and tears the neck of
the bladder； whilst all the while thou entertainest the company with an
ordinary countenance； droning by fits with thy people； making one in a
continuous discourse； now and then making excuse for thy pain； and
representing thy suffering less than it is。 Dost thou call to mind the
men of past times； who so greedily sought diseases to keep their virtue
in breath and exercise？ Put the case that nature sets thee on and impels
thee to this glorious school； into which thou wouldst never have entered
of thy own free will。 If thou tellest me that it is a dangerous and
mortal disease； what others are not so？ for 'tis a physical cheat to
expect any that they say do not go direct to death： what matters if they
go thither by accident； or if they easily slide and slip into the path
that leads us to it？ But thou dost not die because thou art sick； thou
diest because thou art living： death kills thee without the help of
sickness： and sickness has deferred death in some； who have lived longer
by reason that they thought themselves always dying； to which may be
added； that as in wounds； so in diseases； some are medicinal and
wholesome。 The stone is often no less long…lived than you； we see men
with whom it has continued from their infancy even to their extreme old
age； and if they had not broken company； it would have been with them
longer still； you more often kill it than it kills you。 And though it
should present to you the image of approaching death； were it not a good
office to a man of such an age； to put him in mind of his end？ And；
which is worse； thou hast no longer anything that should make thee desire
to be cured。 Whether or no； common necessity will soon call thee away。
Do but consider how skilfully and gently she puts thee out of concern
with life； and weans thee from the world； not forcing thee with a
tyrannical subjection； like so many other infirmities which thou seest
old men afflicted withal； that hold them in continual torment； and keep
them in perpetual and unintermitted weakness and pains； but by warnings
and instructions at intervals； intermixing long pauses of repose； as it
were to give thee opportunity to meditate and ruminate upon thy lesson；
at thy own ease and leisure。 To give thee means to judge aright； and to
assume the resolution of a man of courage； it presents to thee the state
of thy entire condition； both in good and evil； and one while a very
cheerful and another an insupportable life； in one and the same day。 If
thou embracest not death； at least thou shakest hands with it once a
month； whence thou hast more cause to hope that it will one day surprise
thee without menace； and that being so often conducted to the water…side；
but still thinking thyself to be upon the accustomed terms； thou and thy
confidence will at one time or another be unexpectedly wafted over。 A
man cannot reasonably complain of diseases that fairly divide the time
with health。〃
I am obliged to Fortune for having so often assaulted me with the same
sort of weapons： she forms and fashions me by use； hardens and habituates
me； so that I can know within a little for how much I shall be quit。 For
want of natural memory； I make one of paper； and as any new symptom
happens in my disease； I set it down； whence it falls out that； having
now almost passed through all sorts of examples； if anything striking
threatens me； turning over these little loose notes； as the Sybilline
leaves； I never fail of finding matter of consolation from some
favourable prognostic in my past experience。 Custom also makes me hope
better for the time to come； for； the conduct of this clearing out having
so long continued； 'tis to be believed that nature will not alter her
course； and that no other worse accident will happen than what I already
feel。 And besides； the condition of this disease is not unsuitable to my
prompt and sudden complexion： when it assaults me gently； I am afraid；
for 'tis then for a great while； but it has； naturally； brisk and
vigorous excesses； it claws me to purpose for a day or two。 My kidneys
held out an age without alteration； and I have almost now lived another；
since they changed their state； evils have their periods； as well as
benefits： peradventure； the infirmity draws towards an end。 Age weakens
the heat of my stomach； and； its digestion being less perfect； sends this
crude matter to my kidneys； why； at a certain revolution； may not the
heat of my kidneys be also abated； so that they can no more petrify my
phlegm； and nature find out some other way of purgation。 Years have
evidently helped me to drain certain rheums； and why not these excrements
which furnish matter for gravel？ But is there anything delightful in
comparison of this sudden change； when from an excessive pain； I come； by
the voiding of a stone； to recover； as by a flash of lightning； the
beautiful light of health； so free and full； as it happens in our sudden
and sharpest colics？ Is there anything in the pain suffered； that one
can counterpoise to the pleasure of so sudden an amendment？ Oh； how much
does health seem the more pleasant to me； after a sickness so near and so
contiguous； that I can distinguish them in the presence of one another；
in their greatest show； when they appear in emulation； as if to make head
against and dispute it with one another！ As the Stoics say that vices
are profitably introduced to give value to and to set off virtue； we can；
with better reason and less temerity of conjecture； say that nature has
given us pain for the honour and service of pleasure and indolence。 When
Socrates； after his fetters were knocked off； felt the pleasure of that
itching which the weight of them had caused in his legs； he rejoiced to
consider the strict alliance betwixt pain and pleasure； how they are
linked together by a necessary connection；