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be tempted; for the sake of your own comfort; if not for the pride
of your own humanity; to believe that; like untimely blossoms; these
must fall from off the boughs of the tree of life; and come to
nothing at alla theory that may do for the preacher; but will not
do for the worker: him it would paralyze?or; still worse;
infinitely worse; that they were doomed; from their birth; to
endless ages of a damnation; filthy as that in which you now found
them; and must probably leave them? If you could come to this; you
had better withhold your hand; for no desire for the betterment of
the masses; as they are stupidly called; can make up for a lack of
faith in the individual。 If you cannot hope for them in your heart;
your hands cannot reach them to do them good。 They will only hurt
them。'
Lady Georgina was still silent。 Falconer's eloquence had perhaps
made her ashamed。
'I want you to sit down and count the cost; before you do any
mischief by beginning what you are unfit for。 Last week I was
compelled more than once to leave the house where my duty led me;
and to sit down upon a stone in the street; so ill that I was in
danger of being led away as intoxicated; only the policeman happened
to know me。 Twice I went back to the room I had left; crowded with
human animals; and one of them at least dying。 It was all I could
do; and I have tolerable nerve and tolerable experience。'
A mist was gathering over Lady Georgina's eyes。 She confessed it
afterwards to Miss St。 John。 And through the mist he looked larger
than human。
'And then the time you must spend before you can lay hold upon them
at all; that is with the personal relation which alone is of any
real influence! Our Saviour himself had to be thirty years in the
world before he had footing enough in it to justify him in beginning
to teach publicly: he had been laying the needful foundations all
the time。 Not under any circumstances could I consent to make use
of you before you had brought yourself into genuine relations with
some of them first。'
'Do you count societies; then; of no use whatever?' Lady Georgina
asked; more to break the awkwardness of her prolonged silence than
for any other reason。
'In as far as any of the persons they employ fulfil the conditions
of which I have spoken; they are usefulthat is; just in as far as
they come into genuine human relations with those whom they would
help。 In as far as their servants are incapable of this; the
societies are hurtful。 The chief good which societies might effect
would be the procuring of simple justice for the poor。 That is what
they need at the hands of the nation; and what they do not receive。
But though few can have the knowledge of the poor I have; many
could do something; if they would only set about it simply; and not
be too anxious to convert them; if they would only be their friends
after a common…sense fashion。 I know; say; a hundred wretched men
and women far better than a man in general knows him with whom he
claims an ordinary intimacy。 I know many more by sight whose names
in the natural course of events I shall probably know soon。 I know
many of their relations to each other; and they talk about each
other to me as if I were one of themselves; which I hope in God I
am。 I have been amongst them a good many years now; and shall
probably spend my life amongst them。 When I went first; I was
repeatedly robbed; now I should hardly fear to carry another man's
property。 Two years ago I had my purse taken; but next morning it
was returned; I do not know by whom: in fact it was put into my
pocket againevery coin; as far as I could judge; as it left me。 I
seldom pretend to teach themonly now and then drop a word of
advice。 But possibly; before I die; I may speak to them in public。
At present I avoid all attempt at organization of any sort; and as
far as I see; am likely of all things to avoid it。 What I want is
first to be their friend; and then to be at length recognized as
such。 It is only in rare cases that I seek the acquaintance of any
of them: I let it come naturally。 I bide my time。 Almost never do
I offer assistance。 I wait till they ask it; and then often refuse
the sort they want。 The worst thing you can do for them is to
attempt to save them from the natural consequences of wrong: you may
sometimes help them out of them。 But it is right to do many things
for them when you know them; which it would not be right to do for
them until you know them。 I am amongst them; they know me; their
children know me; and something is always occurring that makes this
or that one come to me。 Once I have a footing; I seldom lose it。
So you see; in this my labour I am content to do the thing that
lies next me。 I wait events。 You have had no training; no
blundering to fit you for such work。 There are many other modes of
being useful; but none in which I could undertake to direct you。 I
am not in the habit of talking so much about my waysbut that is of
no consequence。 I think I am right in doing so in this instance。'
'I cannot misunderstand you;' faltered Lady Georgina。
Falconer was silent。 Without looking up from the floor on which her
eyes had rested all the time he spoke; Lady Georgina said at last;
'Then what is my next duty? What is the thing that lies nearest to
me?'
'That; I repeat; belongs to your every…day history。 No one can
answer that question but yourself。 Your next duty is just to
determine what your next duty is。Is there nothing you neglect? Is
there nothing you know you ought not to do?You would know your
duty; if you thought in earnest about it; and were not ambitious of
great things。'
'Ah then;' responded Lady Georgina; with an abandoning sigh; 'I
suppose it is something very commonplace; which will make life more
dreary than ever。 That cannot help me。'
'It will; if it be as dreary as reading the newspapers to an old
deaf aunt。 It will soon lead you to something more。 Your duty will
begin to comfort you at once; but will at length open the unknown
fountain of life in your heart。'
Lady Georgina lifted up her head in despair; looked at Falconer
through eyes full of tears; and said vehemently;
'Mr。 Falconer; you can have no conception how wretched a life like
mine is。 And the futility of everything is embittered by the
consciousness that it is from no superiority to such things that I
do not care for them。'
'It is from superiority to such things that you do not care for
them。 You were not made for such things。 They cannot fill your
heart。 It has whole regions with which they have no relation。'
'The very thought of music makes me feel ill。 I used to be
passionately fond of it。'
'I presume you got so far in it that you asked; 〃Is there nothing
more?〃 Concluding there was nothing more; and yet needing more; you
turned from it with disappointment?'
'It is the same;' she went on