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its own。 But the effort of too many of her priests goes to conceal
from the worshippers the fact that there is such a stair； with a
door to it out of the church。 It looks as if they feared their
people would desert them for heaven。 But I presume it arises
generally from the fact that they know of such an ascent themselves；
only by hearsay。 The knowledge of God is good； but the church is
better！'
'Could it be；' I ventured to suggest； 'that； in order to ascend；
they must put off the priests' garments？'
'Good； my boy！' he answered。 'All are priests up there； and must be
clothed in fine linen； clean and whitethe righteousness of
saintsnot the imputed righteousness of another；that is a lying
doctrinebut their own righteousness which God has wrought in them
by Christ。' I never knew a man in whom the inward was so constantly
clothed upon by the outward； whose ordinary habits were so symbolic
of his spiritual tastes； or whose enjoyment of the sight of his eyes
and the hearing of his ears was so much informed by his highest
feelings。 He regarded all human affairs from the heights of
religion； as from their church…spires he looked down on the red
roofs of Antwerp； on the black roofs of Cologne； on the gray roofs
of Strasburg； or on the brown roofs of Baseluplifted for the time
above them； not in dissociation from them。
On the base of the missing twin…spire at Strasburg； high over the
roof of the church； stands a little cottagehow strange its white
muslin window…curtains look up there！ To the day of his death he
cherished the fancy of writing a book in that cottage； with the
grand city to which London looks a modern mushroom； its thousand
roofs with row upon row of windows in themoften five garret
stories； one above the other； and its thickets of multiform
chimneys； the thrones and procreant cradles of the storks；
marvellous in history； habit； and dignityall below him。
He was taken ill at Valence and lay there for a fortnight； oppressed
with some kind of low fever。 One night he awoke from a refreshing
sleep； but could not sleep again。 It seemed to him afterwards as if
he had lain waiting for something。 Anyhow something came。 As it
were a faint musical rain had invaded his hearing； but the night was
clear； for the moon was shining on his window…blind。 The sound came
nearer； and revealed itself a delicate tinkling of bells。 It drew
nearer still and nearer； growing in sweet fulness as it came； till
at length a slow torrent of tinklings went past his window in the
street below。 It was the flow of a thousand little currents of
sound； a gliding of silvery threads； like the talking of
water…ripples against the side of a barge in a slow canalall as
soft as the moonlight； as exquisite as an odour； each sound tenderly
truncated and dull。 A great multitude of sheep was shifting its
quarters in the night； whence and whither and why he never knew。 To
his heart they were the messengers of the Most High。 For into that
heart； soothed and attuned by their thin harmony； not on the wind
that floated without breaking their lovely message； but on the
ripples of the wind that bloweth where it listeth； came the words；
unlooked for； their coming unheralded by any mental premonition； 'My
peace I give unto you。' The sounds died slowly away in the
distance； fainting out of the air； even as they had grown upon it；
but the words remained。
In a few moments he was fast asleep； comforted by pleasure into
repose； his dreams were of gentle self…consoling griefs； and when he
awoke in the morning'My peace I give unto you；' was the first
thought of which he was conscious。 It may be that the sound of the
sheep…bells made him think of the shepherds that watched their
flocks by night； and they of the multitude of the heavenly host； and
they of the song'On earth peace'： I do not know。 The important
point is not how the words came； but that the words
remainedremained until he understood them； and they became to him
spirit and life。
He soon recovered strength sufficiently to set out again upon his
travels； great part of which he performed on foot。 In this way he
reached Avignon。 Passing from one of its narrow streets into an
open place in the midst； all at once he beheld； towering above him；
on a height that overlooked the whole city and surrounding country；
a great crucifix。 The form of the Lord of Life still hung in the
face of heaven and earth。 He bowed his head involuntarily。 No
matter that when he drew nearer the power of it vanished。 The
memory of it remained with its first impression； and it had a share
in what followed。
He made his way eastward towards the Alps。 As he walked one day
about noon over a desolate heath…covered height； reminding him not a
little of the country of his childhood； the silence seized upon him。
In the midst of the silence arose the crucifix； and once more the
words which had often returned upon him sounded in the ears of the
inner hearing； 'My peace I give unto you。' They were words he had
known from the earliest memorial time。 He had heard them in
infancy； in childhood； in boyhood； in youth： now first in manhood it
flashed upon him that the Lord did really mean that the peace of his
soul should be the peace of their souls； that the peace wherewith
his own soul was quiet； the peace at the very heart of the universe；
was henceforth theirsopen to them； to all the world； to enter and
be still。 He fell upon his knees； bowed down in the birth of a
great hope； held up his hands towards heaven； and cried； 'Lord
Christ； give me thy peace。'
He said no more； but rose； caught up his stick； and strode forward；
thinking。
He had learned what the sentence meant； what that was of which it
spoke he had not yet learned。 The peace he had once sought； the
peace that lay in the smiles and tenderness of a woman； had
'overcome him like a summer cloud；' and had passed away。 There was
surely a deeper； a wider； a grander peace for him than that； if
indeed it was the same peace wherewith the king of men regarded his
approaching end； that he had left as a heritage to his brothers。
Suddenly he was aware that the earth had begun to live again。 The
hum of insects arose from the heath around him； the odour of its
flowers entered his dulled sense； the wind kissed him on the
forehead； the sky domed up over his head； and the clouds veiled the
distant mountain tops like the smoke of incense ascending from the
altars of the worshipping earth。 All Nature began to minister to
one who had begun to lift his head from the baptism of fire。 He had
thought that Nature could never more be anything to him； and she was
waiting on him like a mother。 The next moment he was offended with
himself for receiving ministrations the reaction of whose loveliness
might no longer gather around the form of Mary St。 John。 Every
wavelet of scent； every toss of a flower's head in the breeze； came
with a sting in its plea