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sure that she had taken his meaning； and seemed satisfied that she had。
〃I'm not sure that I'm fit for any sort of ministry； and I may find the
winter in England trying to find out。 I was at school in England； you
know。〃
Ellen confessed that she had not known that。
〃Yes； I suppose that's what made me seem 'so Englishy' the first day to
Miss Lottie； as she called it。 But I'm straight enough American as far
as parentage goes。 Do you think you will be in England…later？〃
〃I don't know。 If poppa gets too homesick we will go back in the fall。〃
〃Miss Kenton；〃 said the young man； abruptly； 〃will you let me tell you
how much I admire and revere your father？〃
Tears came into her eyes and her throat swelled。 〃But you don't know；〃
she begun； and then she stopped。
〃I have been wanting to submit something to his judgment； but I've been
afraid。 I might seem to be fishing for his favor。〃
〃Poppa wouldn't think anything that was unjust；〃 said Ellen； gravely。
〃Ah；〃 Breckon laughed； 〃I suspect that I should rather have him unjust。
I wish you'd tell me what he would think。〃
〃But I don't know what it is；〃 she protested； with a reflected smile。
〃I was in hopes Miss Rasmith might have told you。 Well； it is simply
this； and you will see that I'm not quite the universal favorite she's
been making you fancy me。 There is a rift in my lute； a schism in my
little society； which is so little that I could not have supposed there
was enough of it to break in two。 There are some who think their
lecturerfor that's what I amount toought to be an older； if not a
graver man。 They are in the minority； but they're in the right； I'm
afraid； and that's why I happen to be here telling you all this。 It's
a question of whether I ought to go back to New York or stay in London；
where there's been a faint call for me。〃 He saw the girl listening
devoutly； with that flattered look which a serious girl cannot keep out
of her face when a man confides a serious matter to her。 〃I might safely
promise to be older； but could I keep my word if I promised to be graver？
That's the point。 If I were a Calvinist I might hold fast by faith； and
fight it out with that； or if I were a Catholic I could cast myself upon
the strength of the Church； and triumph in spite of temperament。 Then it
wouldn't matter whether I was grave or gay； it might be even better if I
were gay。 But；〃 he went on； in terms which； doubtless； were not then for
the first time formulated in his mind； 〃being merely the leader of a sort
of forlorn hope in the Divine Goodness； perhaps I have no right to be so
cheerful。〃
The note of a sad irony in his words appealed to such indignation for him
in Ellen as she never felt for herself。 But she only said； 〃I don't
believe Poppa could take that in the wrong way if you told him。〃
Breckon stared。 〃Yes your father！ What would he say？〃
〃I can't tell you。 But I'm sure he would know what you meant。〃
〃And you；〃 he pursued； 〃what should YOU say？〃
〃I？ I never thought about such a thing。 You mustn't ask me； if you're
serious； and if you're not〃
〃But I am； I am deeply serious。 I would like； to know how the case
strikes you。 I shall be so grateful if you will tell me。〃
〃I'm sorry I can't； Mr。 Breckon。 Why don't you ask poppa？〃
〃No； I see now I sha'n't be able。 I feel too much； after telling you； as
if I had been posing。 The reality has gone out of it all。 And I'm
ashamed。〃
〃You mustn't be；〃 she said； quietly； and she added； 〃I suppose it would
be like a kind of defeat if you didn't go back？〃
〃I shouldn't care for the appearance of defeat；〃 he said； courageously。
〃The great question is； whether somebody else wouldn't be of more use in
my place。〃
〃Nobody could be；〃 said she； in a sort of impassioned absence； and then
coming to herself； 〃I mean； they wouldn't think so； I don't believe。〃
〃Then you advise〃
〃No； no！ I can't； I don't。 I'm not fit to have an opinion about such a
thing； it would be crazy。 But poppa〃
They were at the door of the gangway； and she slipped within and left
him。 His nerves tingled； and there was a glow in his breast。 It was
sweet to have surprised that praise from her； though he could not have
said why he should value the praise or a girl of her open ignorance and
inexperience in everything that would have qualified her to judge him。
But he found himself valuing it supremely； and wonderingly wishing to be
worthy of it。
XVII。
Ellen discovered her father with a book in a distant corner of the
dining…saloon； which he preferred to the deck or the library for his
reading； in such intervals as the stewards； laying and cleaning the
tables； left him unmolested in it。 She advanced precipitately upon him；
and stood before him in an excitement which； though he lifted his dazed
eyes to it from his page； he was not entirely aware of till afterwards。
Then he realized that her cheeks were full of color； and her eyes of
light； and that she panted as if she had been running when she spoke。
〃Poppa；〃 she said； 〃there is something that Mr。 Breckon wants to speak to
youto ask you about。 He has asked me； but I want you to see him； for I
think he had better tell you himself。〃
While he still stared at her she was as suddenly gone as she had come；
and he remained with his book； which the meaning had as suddenly left。
There was no meaning in her words； except as he put it into them； and
after he had got it in he struggled with it in a sort of perfunctory
incredulity。 It was not impossible； it chiefly seemed so because it
seemed too good to be true； and the more he pondered it the more
possible； if not probable； it became。 He could not be safe with it till
he had submitted it to his wife； and he went to her while he was sure of
repeating Ellen's words without varying from them a syllable。
To his astonishment； Mrs。 Kenton was instantly convinced。 〃Why； of
course；〃 she said； 〃it can't possibly mean anything else。 Why should it
be so very surprising？ The time hasn't been very long； but they've been
together almost every moment； and he was taken with her from the very
beginningI could see that。 Put on your other coat；〃 she said； as she
dusted the collar of the coat the judge was wearing。 〃He'll be looking
you up； at once。 I can't say that it's unexpected；〃 and she claimed a
prescience in the matter which all her words had hitherto denied。
Kenton did not notice her inconsistency。 〃If it were not so exactly what
I wished；〃 he said； 〃I don't know that I should be surprised at it
myself。 Sarah； if I had been trying to imagine any one for Ellen； I
couldn't have dreamed of a person better suited to her than this young
man。 He's everything that I could wish him to be。 I've seen the
pleasure and comfort she took in his way from the first moment。 He
seemed to make her forget Do you suppose she has forgotten that
miserable wretch Do you think〃
〃If she hadn't； could she be letting him come to speak to you？ I don't
believe she ever really cared for Bittridgeor not after he began
flirting with Mrs。 Uphill。〃 She had no shrinking from the names which
Kenton avoided with disgust。 〃The only