按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
breath； she had not heard him。 He crept up close behind the trunk
till he stood in touch of her。 〃I mustn't startle her；〃 he thought。
〃Antonia！〃
There was a faint stir in the hammock； but no answer。 He stood over
her； but even then he could not see her face； he only； had a sense of
something breathing and alive within a yard of himof something warm
and soft。 He whispered again； 〃Antonia！〃 but again there came no
answer； and a sort of fear and frenzy seized on him。 He could no
longer hear her breathe； the creaking of the branch had ceased。 What
was passing in that silent； living creature there so close？ And then
he heard again the sound of breathing； quick and scared； like the
fluttering of a bird； in a moment he was staring in the dark at an
empty hammock。
He stayed beside the empty hammock till he could bear uncertainty no
longer。 But as he crossed the lawn the sky was rent from end to end
by jagged lightning； rain spattered him from head to foot； and with a
deafening crack the thunder broke。
He sought the smoking…room； but； recoiling at the door； went to his
own room； and threw himself down on the bed。 The thunder groaned and
sputtered in long volleys； the lightning showed him the shapes of
things within the room； with a weird distinctness that rent from them
all likeness to the purpose they were made for； bereaved them of
utility； of their matter…of…factness； presented them as skeletons；
abstractions； with indecency in their appearance； like the naked
nerves and sinews of a leg preserved in； spirit。 The sound of the
rain against the house stunned his power of thinking； he rose to shut
his windows； then； returning to his bed； threw himself down again。
He stayed there till the storm was over； in a kind of stupor； but
when the boom of the retreating thunder grew every minute less
distinct； he rose。 Then for the first time he saw something white
close by the door。
It was a note：
I have made a mistake。 Please forgive me； and go away。ANTONIA。
CHAPTER XXXII
WILDERNESS
When he had read this note； Shelton put it down beside his sleeve…
links on his dressing table； stared in the mirror at himself； and
laughed。 But his lips soon stopped him laughing； he threw himself
upon his bed and pressed his face into the pillows。 He lay there
half…dressed throughout the night； and when he rose； soon after dawn；
he had not made his mind up what to do。 The only thing he knew for
certain was that he must not meet Antonia。
At last he penned the following：
I have had a sleepless night with toothache； and think it best to run
up to the dentist at once。 If a tooth must come out； the sooner the
better。
He addressed it to Mrs。 Dennant； and left it on his table。 After
doing this he threw himself once more upon his bed； and this time
fell into a doze。
He woke with a start； dressed； and let himself quietly out。 The
likeness of his going to that of Ferrand struck him。 〃Both outcasts
now；〃 he thought。
He tramped on till noon without knowing or caring where he went；
then； entering a field； threw himself down under the hedge； and fell
asleep。
He was awakened by a whirr。 A covey of partridges； with wings
glistening in the sun； were straggling out across the adjoining field
of mustard。 They soon settled in the old…maidish way of partridges；
and began to call upon each other。
Some cattle had approached him in his sleep； and a beautiful bay cow；
with her head turned sideways； was snuffing at him gently； exhaling
her peculiar sweetness。 She was as fine in legs and coat as any
race…horse。 She dribbled at the corners of her black； moist lips；
her eye was soft and cynical。 Breathing the vague sweetness of the
mustard…field； rubbing dry grasp…stalks in his fingers； Shelton had a
moment's happinessthe happiness of sun and sky； of the eternal
quiet； and untold movements of the fields。 Why could not human
beings let their troubles be as this cow left the flies that clung
about her eyes？ He dozed again； and woke up with a laugh； for this
was what he dreamed：
He fancied he was in a room； at once the hall and drawing…room of
some country house。 In the centre of this room a lady stood； who was
looking in a hand…glass at her face。 Beyond a door or window could
be seen a garden with a row of statues； and through this door people
passed without apparent object。
Suddenly Shelton saw his mother advancing to the lady with the hand…
glass； whom now he recognised as Mrs。 Foliot。 But； as he looked； his
mother changed to Mrs。 Dennant； and began speaking in a voice that
was a sort of abstract of refinement。 〃Je fais de la philosophic；〃
it said； 〃I take the individual for what she's worth。 I do not
condemn； above all； one must have spirit！〃 The lady with the mirror
continued looking in the glass； and； though he could not see her
face； he could see its image…pale； with greenish eyes； and a smile
like scorn itself。 Then； by a swift transition； he was walking in
the garden talking to Mrs。 Dennant。
It was from this talk that he awoke with laughter。 〃But；〃 she had
been saying； 〃Dick； I've always been accustomed to believe what I was
told。 It was so unkind of her to scorn me just because I happen to
be second…hand。〃 And her voice awakened Shelton's pity； it was like
a frightened child's。 〃I don't know what I shall do if I have to
form opinions for myself。 I was n't brought up to it。 I 've always
had them nice and secondhand。 How am I to go to work？ One must
believe what other people do； not that I think much of other people；
but； you do know what it isone feels so much more comfortable；〃 and
her skirts rustled。 〃But； Dick； whatever happens〃her voice
entreated〃do let Antonia get her judgments secondhand。 Never mind
for meif I must form opinions for myself； I mustbut don't let
her； any old opinions so long as they are old。 It 's dreadful to
have to think out new ones for oneself。〃 And he awoke。 His dream
had had in it the element called Art； for； in its gross absurdity；
Mrs。 Dennant had said things that showed her soul more fully than
anything she would have said in life。
〃No；〃 said a voice quite close； behind the hedge； 〃not many
Frenchmen； thank the Lord！ A few coveys of Hungarians over from the
Duke's。 Sir James； some pie？〃
Shelton raised himself with drowsy curiositystill half asleepand
applied his face to a gap in the high； thick osiers of the hedge。
Four men were seated on camp…stools round a folding…table； on which
was a pie and other things to eat。 A game…cart； well…adorned with
birds and hares； stood at a short distance； the tails of some dogs
were seen moving humbly； and a valet opening bottles。 Shelton had
forgotten that it was 〃the first。〃 The host was a soldierly and
freckled man； an older man sat next him； square…jawed； with an
absent…looking eye and sharpened nose； next him； again； there was a
bearded person w