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playing as if nothing had happened； only he was very gentle and sweet；
like the sun on the meadows after the storm has passed by。 After a
little he said：
〃This is a most amusing game。 When you play badly it amuses me； and when
I play badly and lose my temper it certainly must amuse you。〃
His enjoyment of his opponent's perplexities was very keen。 When he had
left the balls in some unfortunate position which made it almost
impossible for me to score he would laugh boisterously。 I used to affect
to be injured and disturbed by this ridicule。 Once； when he had made the
conditions unusually hard for me； and was enjoying the situation
accordingly； I was tempted to remark：
〃Whenever I see you laugh at a thing like that I always doubt your sense
of humor。〃 Which seemed to add to his amusement。
Sometimes； when the balls were badly placed for me； he would offer
ostensible advice； suggesting that I should shoot here and thereshots
that were possible； perhaps； but not promising。 Often I would follow his
advice； and then when I failed to score his amusement broke out afresh。
Other billiardists came from time to time： Colonel Harvey； Mr。 Duneka；
and Major Leigh； of the Harper Company； and Peter Finley Dunne （Mr。
Dooley）； but they were handicapped by their business affairs； and were
not dependable for daily and protracted sessions。 Any number of his
friends were willing； even eager； to come for his entertainment； but the
percentage of them who could and would devote a number of hours each day
to being beaten at billiards and enjoy the operation dwindled down to a
single individual。 Even I could not have done itcould not have
afforded it； however much I might have enjoyed the diversionhad it not
been contributory to my work。 To me the association was invaluable； it
drew from him a thousand long…forgotten incidents； it invited a stream of
picturesque comments and philosophies； it furnished the most intimate
insight into his character。
He was not always glad to see promiscuous callers； even some one that he
might have met pleasantly elsewhere。 One afternoon a young man whom he
had casually invited to 〃drop in some day in town〃 happened to call in
the midst of a very close series of afternoon games。 It would all have
been well enough if the visitor had been content to sit quietly on the
couch and 〃bet on the game；〃 as Clemens suggested； after the greetings
were over； but he was a very young man； and he felt the necessity of
being entertaining。 He insisted on walking about the room and getting in
the way； and on talking about the Mark Twain books he had read； and the
people he had met from time to time who had known Mark Twain on the
river； or on the Pacific coast； or elsewhere。 I knew how fatal it was
for him to talk to Clemens during his play； especially concerning matters
most of which had been laid away。 I trembled for our visitor。 If I
could have got his ear privately I should have said： 〃For heaven's sake
sit down and keep still or go away！ There's going to be a combination of
earthquake and cyclone and avalanche if you keep this thing up。〃
I did what I could。 I looked at my watch every other minute。 At last；
in desperation； I suggested that I retire from the game and let the
visitor have my cue。 I suppose I thought this would eliminate an element
of danger。 He declined on the ground that he seldom played； and
continued his deadly visit。 I have never been in an atmosphere so
fraught with danger。 I did not know how the game stood； and I played
mechanically and forgot to count the score。 Clemens's face was grim and
set and savage。 He no longer ventured even a word。 By and by I noticed
that he was getting white； and I said； privately； 〃Now； this young man's
hour has come。〃
It was certainly by the mercy of God just then that the visitor said：
〃I'm sorry； but I've got to go。 I'd like to stay longer； but I've got an
engagement for dinner。〃
I don't remember how he got out； but I know that tons lifted as the door
closed behind him。 Clemens made his shot； then very softly said：
〃If he had stayed another five minutes I should have offered him twenty…
five cents to go。〃
But a moment later he glared at me。
〃Why in nation did you offer him your cue？〃
〃Wasn't that the courteous thing to do？〃 I asked。
〃No！〃 he ripped out。 〃The courteous and proper thing would have been to
strike him dead。 Did you want to saddle that disaster upon us for life？〃
He was blowing off steam； and I knew it and encouraged it。 My impulse
was to lie down on the couch and shout with hysterical laughter； but I
suspected that would be indiscreet。 He made some further comment on the
propriety of offering a visitor a cue； and suddenly began to sing a
travesty of an old hymn：
〃How tedious are they
Who their sovereign obey；〃
and so loudly that I said：
〃Aren't you afraid he'll hear you and come back？〃 Whereupon he pretended
alarm and sang under his breath； and for the rest of the evening was in
boundless good…humor。
I have recalled this incident merely as a sample of things that were
likely to happen at any time in his company； and to show the difficulty
one might find in fitting himself to his varying moods。 He was not to be
learned in a day； or a week； or a month； some of those who knew him
longest did not learn him at all。
We celebrated his seventy…first birthday by playing billiards all day。
He invented a new game for the occasion； inventing rules for it with
almost every shot。
It happened that no member of the family was at home on this birthday。
Ill health had banished every one； even the secretary。 Flowers；
telegrams； and congratulations came； and there was a string of callers；
but he saw no one beyond some intimate friendsthe Gilderslate in the
afternoon。 When they had gone we went down to dinner。 We were entirely
alone； and I felt the great honor of being his only guest on such an
occasion。 Once between the courses； when he rose； as usual； to walk
about； he wandered into the drawing…room； and seating himself at the
orchestrelle began to play the beautiful flower…song from 〃Faust。〃 It
was a thing I had not seen him do before； and I never saw him do it
again。 When he came back to the table he said：
〃Speaking of companions of the long ago； after fifty years they become
only shadows and might as well be in the grave。 Only those whom one has
really loved mean anything at all。 Of my playmates I recall John Briggs；
John Garth； and Laura Hawkinsjust those three； the rest I buried long
ago； and memory cannot even find their graves。〃
He was in his loveliest humor all that day and evening； and that night；
when he stopped playing； he said：
〃I have never had a pleasanter day at this game。〃
I answered； 〃I hope ten years from to…night we shall still be playing
it。〃
〃Yes；〃 he said； 〃still playing the best game on earth。〃
CCL
PHILOSOPHY AND PESSIMISM
In a letter to MacAlister； written at this time； he said：
The doctors banished Jean to the country 5 weeks ago； they banished
my secretary to the country for a fortnight last Saturday； they
banish