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tried to borrow the money and couldn't。 Then when I found they were
letting a whole crowd of millionaires live in New York at a third of
the price they were charging me I was hurt； I was indignant； and
said； this is the last feather。 I am not going to run this town all
by myself。 In that momentin that memorable moment； I began to
crumble。 In fifteen minutes the disintegration was complete。 In
fifteen minutes I was become just a mere moral sand…pile； and I
lifted up my hand； along with those seasoned and experienced
deacons； and swore off every rag of personal property I've got in
the world。
I had never heard him address a miscellaneous audience。 It was marvelous
to see how he convulsed it； and silenced it； and controlled it at will。
He did not undertake any special pleading for the negro cause； he only
prepared the way with cheerfulness。
Clemens and Choate joined forces again； a few weeks later； at a great
public meeting assembled in aid of the adult blind。 Helen Keller was to
be present； but she had fallen ill through overwork。 She sent to Clemens
one of her beautiful letters； in which she said：
I should be happy if I could have spelled into my hand the words as
they fall from your lips； and receive； even as it is uttered； the
eloquence of our newest ambassador to the blind。
Clemens； dictating the following morning； told of his first meeting with
Helen Keller at a little gathering in Lawrence Hutton's home； when she
was about the age of fourteen。 It was an incident that invited no
elaboration； and probably received none。
Henry Rogers and I went together。 The company had all assembled and
had been waiting a while。 The wonderful child arrived now with her
about equally wonderful teacher； Miss Sullivan； and seemed quite
well to recognize the character of her surroundings。 She said； 〃Oh；
the books； the books； so many； many books。 How lovely！〃
The guests were brought one after another。 As she shook hands with
each she took her hand away and laid her fingers lightly against
Miss Sullivan's lips； who spoke against them the person's name。
Mr。 Howells seated himself by Helen on the sofa； and she put her
fingers against his lips and he told her a story of considerable
length； and you could see each detail of it pass into her mind and
strike fire there and throw the flash of it into her face。
After a couple of hours spent very pleasantly some one asked if
Helen would remember the feel of the hands of the company after this
considerable interval of time and be able to discriminate the hands
and name the possessors of them。 Miss Sullivan said； 〃Oh； she will
have no difficulty about that。〃 So the company filed past； shook
hands in turn； and with each hand…shake Helen greeted the owner of
the hand pleasantly and spoke the name that belonged to it without
hesitation。
By and by the assemblage proceeded to the dining…room and sat down
to the luncheon。 I had to go away before it was over； and as I
passed by Helen I patted her lightly on the head and passed on。
Miss Sullivan called to me and said； 〃Stop； Mr。 Clemens； Helen is
distressed because she did not recognize your hand。 Won't you come
back and do that again？〃 I went back and patted her lightly on the
head； and she said at once； 〃Oh； it's Mr。 Clemens。〃
Perhaps some one can explain this miracle； but I have never been
able to do it。 Could she feel the wrinkles in my hand through her
hair？ Some one else must answer this。
It was three years following this dictation that the mystery received a
very simple and rather amusing solution。 Helen had come to pay a visit
to Mark Twain's Connecticut home； Stormfield； then but just completed。
He had met her； meantime； but it had not occurred to him before to ask
her how she had recognized him that morning at Hutton's； in what had
seemed such a marvelous way。 She remembered； and with a smile said：
〃I smelled you。〃 Which； after all； did not make the incident seem much
less marvelous。
On one of the mornings after Miss Hobby had gone Clemens said：
〃A very curious thing has happeneda very large…sized…joke。〃 He was
shaving at the time； and this information came in brief and broken
relays； suited to a performance of that sort。 The reader may perhaps
imagine the effect without further indication of it。
〃I was going on a yachting trip once； with Henry Rogers； when a reporter
stopped me with the statement that Mrs。 Astor had said that there had
never been a gentleman in the White House； and he wanted me to give him
my definition of a gentleman。 I didn't give him my definition； but he
printed it； just the same； in the afternoon paper。 I was angry at first；
and wanted to bring a damage suit。 When I came to read the definition it
was a satisfactory one； and I let it go。 Now to…day comes a letter and a
telegram from a man who has made a will in Missouri； leaving ten thousand
dollars to provide tablets for various libraries in the State； on which
shall be inscribed Mark Twain's definition of a gentleman。 He hasn't got
the definitionhe has only heard of it； and he wants me to tell him in
which one of my books or speeches he can find it。 I couldn't think； when
I read that letter； what in the nation the man meant； but shaving somehow
has a tendency to release thought； and just now it all came to me。〃
It was a situation full of amusing possibilities； but he reached no
conclusion in the matter。 Another telegram was brought in just then；
which gave a sadder aspect to his thought； for it said that his old
coachman； Patrick McAleer； who had begun in the Clemens service with the
bride and groom of thirty…six years before； was very low； and could not
survive more than a few days。 This led him to speak of Patrick； his
noble and faithful nature； and how he always claimed to be in their
service； even during their long intervals of absence abroad。 Clemens
gave orders that everything possible should be done for Patrick's
comfort。 When the end came； a few days later； he traveled to Hartford to
lay flowers on Patrick's bier； and to serve； with Patrick's friends
neighbor coachmen and John O'Neill； the gardeneras pall…bearer； taking
his allotted place without distinction or favor。
It was the following Sunday； at the Majestic Theater； in New York； that
Mark Twain spoke to the Young Men's Christian Association。 For several
reasons it proved an unusual meeting。 A large number of free tickets had
been given out； far more than the place would hold； and； further； it had
been announced that when the ticket…holders had been seated the admission
would be free to the public。 The subject chosen for the talk was
〃Reminiscences。〃
When we arrived the streets were packed from side to side for a
considerable distance and a riot was in progress。 A great crowd had
swarmed about the place； and the officials； instead of throwing the doors
wide and letting the theater fill up； regardless of tickets； had locked
them。 As