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side of the house again with a grating squeal。
〃I'm trying to keep〃—he huffed； shifting his weight as the treetop bounced him—〃my promise！〃
I blinked my wet blurry eyes； suddenly sure that I was dreaming。
〃When did you ever promise to kill yourself falling out of Charlie's tree？〃
He snorted； unamused； swinging his legs to improve his balance。 〃Get out of the way；〃 he ordered。
〃What？〃
He swung his legs again； backwards and forward； increasing his momentum。 I realized what he was ttying
to do。
〃No； Jake！〃
But I ducked to the side； aecause it was too late。 With a grunt； he launched himself toward my open
window。
Another scream built in my throat as I waited for him to fall to his death—or at least maim himself against
the wooden siding。 To my shock； he swung agilely into my room； landing on the balls of his feet with a
low thud。
We both looked to the door automatically； holding our breath； waiting to see if the noise had woken
Charlie。 A short moment of silence passed； and then we heard the muffled sound of Charlie's snore。
A wide grin spread slowly across Jacob's face； he seemed extremely pleased with himself。 It wasn't the
grin that I knew and loved—it was a new grin； one that was a bitter mockery of his old sincerity； on the
new face that belonged to Sam。
That was a bit much for me。
I'd cried myself to sleep over this boy。 His harsh rejection had punched a painful new hole in what was
left of my chest。 He'd left a new nightmare behind him； like an infection in a sore—the insult after the
injury。 And now he was here in my room； smirking at me as if none of that had passed。 Worse than that；
even though his arrival had been noisy and awkward； it reminded me of when Edward used to sneak in
through my window at night； and the reminder picked viciously at the unhealed wounds。
All of this； coupled with the fact that I was dog…tired； did not put me in a friendly mood。
〃Get out！〃 I hissed； putting as much venom into the whisper as I could。
He blinked； his face going blank with surprise。
〃No；〃 he protested。 〃I came to apologize。〃
〃I don't accept！〃
I tried to shove him back out the window—after all； if this was a dream； it wouldn't really hurt him。 It was
useless； though。 I didn't budge him an inch。 I dropped my hands quickly； and stepped away from him。
He wasn't wearing a shirt； though the air blowing in the window was cold enough to make me shiver； and
it made me uncomfortable to have my hands on his bare chest。 His skin was burning hot； like his head
had been the last time I'd touched him。 Like he was still sick with the fever。
He didn't look sick。 He looked huge。 He leaned over me； so big that he blacked out the window；
tongue…tied by my furious reaction。
Suddenly； it was just more than I could handle—it felt as if all of my sleepless nights were crashing down
on me en masse。 I was so brutally tired that I thought I might collapse right there on the floor。 I swayed
unsteadily； and struggled to keep my eyes open。
〃Bella？〃 Jacob whispered anxiously。 He caught my elbow as I swayed again； and steered me back to the
bed。 My legs gave out when I reached the edge； and I plopped into a limp heap on the mattress。
〃Hey； are you okay？〃 Jacob asked； worry creasing his forehead。
I looked up at him； the tears not yet dried on my cheeks。 〃Why in the world would I be okay； Jacob？〃
Anguish replaced some of the bitterness in his face。 〃Right；〃 he agreed； and took a deep breath。 〃Crap。
Well… I—I'm so sorry； Bella。〃 The apology was sincere； no doubt about it； though there was still an
angry twist to his features。
〃Why did you come here？ I don't want apologies from you； Jake。〃
〃I know；〃 he whispered。 〃But I couldn't leave things the way I did this afternoon。 Thar was horrible。 I'm
sorry。〃
I shook my head wearily。 〃I don't understand anything。〃
〃I know。 I want to explain—〃 He broke off suddenly； his mouth open； almost like something had cut off
his air。 Then he sucked in a deep breath。 〃But I can't explain；〃 he said； still angry。 〃I wish I could。〃
I let my head fall into my hands。 My question came out muffled by my arm。 〃Why？〃
He was quiet for a moment。 I twisted my head to the side—too tired to hold it up—to see his expression。
It surprised me。 His eyes were squinted； his teeth clenched； his forehead wrinkled in effort。
〃What's wrong？〃 I asked。
He exhaled heavily； and I realized he'd been holding his breath； too。 〃I can't do it；〃 he muttered；
frustrated。
〃Do what？〃
He ignored my question。 〃Look； Bella； haven't you ever had a secret that you couldn't tell anyone？〃
He looked at me with knowing eyes； and my thoughts jumped immediately to the Cullens。 I hoped my
expression didn't look guilty。
〃Something you felt like you had to keep from Charlie； from your mom… ？〃 he pressed。 〃Something you
won't even talk about with me？ Not even now？〃
I felt my eyes tighten。 I didn't answer his question； though I knew he would take that as a confirmation。
〃Can you understand that I might have the same kind of… situation？〃 He was struggling again； seeming to
fight for the right words。 〃Sometimes； loyalty gets in the way of what you want to do。 Sometimes； it's not
your secret to tell。〃
So； I couldn't argue with that。 He was exactly right—I had a secret that wasn't mine to tell； yet a secret I
felt bound to protect。 A secret that； suddenly； he seemed to know all about。
I still didn't see how it applied to him； or Sam； or Billy。 What was it to them； now that the Cullens were
gone？
〃I don't know why you came here； Jacob； if you were just going to give me riddles instead of answers。〃
〃I'm sorry；〃 he whispered。 〃This is so frustrating。〃
We looked at each other for a long moment in the dark room； both our faces hopeless。
〃The part that kills me；〃 he said abruptly； 〃is that you already know。 I already told yon everything！〃
〃What are you talking about？〃
He sucked in a startled breath； and then leaned toward me； his face shifting from hopelessness to blazing
intensity in a second。 He stared fiercely into my eyes； and his voice was fast and eager。 He spoke the
words right into my face； his breath was as hot as his skin。
〃I think I see a way to make this work out—because you know this； Bella！ I can't tell you； but if you
guessed it！ That would let me right off the hook！〃
〃You want me to guess？ Guess what？〃
〃My secret！ You can do it—you know the answer！〃
I blinked twice； trying to clear my head。 I was so tired。 Nothing he said made sense。
He took in my blank expression； and then his face tensed with effort again。 〃Hole on； let me see if I give
you some help；〃 he said。 Whatever he was trying to do； it was so hard he was panting。
〃Help？〃 I asked； trying to keep up。 My lids wanted to slip closed； but I forced them open。
〃Yeah；〃 he said； breathing hard。 〃Like clues。〃
He took my face in his enormous； too…warm hands and held it just a few inches from his。 He stared into
my eyes while he whispered； as if to communicate something besides the words he spoke。
〃Remember the first day we