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period of time； if wrapped in mist they are equally sure to fall ill
soon after。 As for you； I not only see you brilliantly illuminated；
but I hear a voice which explains to me without words； by some mental
communication； what you ought to do。 Does any law forbid me to use
this wonderful gift for my children and for you？〃 she asked； falling
into a reverie。 Then； after a pause； she added； 〃Perhaps God wills to
take the place of their father。〃
〃Let me believe that my obedience is due to none but you；〃 I cried。
She gave me one of her exquisitely gracious smiles； which so exalted
my heart that I should not have felt a death…blow if given at that
moment。
〃As soon as the king returns to Paris； go there； leave Clochegourde；〃
she said。 〃It may be degrading to beg for places and favors； but it
would be ridiculous to be out of the way of receiving them。 Great
changes will soon take place。 The king needs capable and trustworthy
men； don't fail him。 It is well for you to enter young into the
affairs of the nation and learn your way； for statesmen； like actors；
have a routine business to acquire； which genius does not reveal； it
must be learnt。 My father heard the Duc de Choiseul say this。 Think of
me；〃 she said； after a pause； 〃let me enjoy the pleasures of
superiority in a soul that is all my own； for are you not my son？〃
〃Your son？〃 I said； sullenly。
〃Yes； my son！〃 she cried； mocking me； 〃is not that a good place in my
heart？〃
The bell rang for dinner； she took my arm and leaned contentedly upon
it。
〃You have grown；〃 she said； as we went up the steps。 When we reached
the portico she shook my arm a little； as if my looks were
importunate； for though her eyes were lowered she knew that I saw only
her。 Then she said； with a charming air of pretended impatience； full
of grace and coquetry； 〃Come； why don't you look at our dear valley？〃
She turned； held her white silk sun…shade over our heads and drew
Jacques closely to her side。 The motion of her head as she looked
towards the Indre； the punt； the meadows； showed me that in my absence
she had come to many an understanding with those misty horizons and
their vaporous outline。 Nature was a mantle which sheltered her
thoughts。 She now knew what the nightingale was sighing the livelong
night； what the songster of the sedges hymned with his plaintive note。
At eight o'clock that evening I was witness of a scene which touched
me deeply； and which I had never yet witnessed； for in my former
visits I had played backgammon with the count while his wife took the
children into the dining…room before their bedtime。 The bell rang
twice； and all the servants of the household entered the room。
〃You are now our guest and must submit to convent rule；〃 said the
countess； leading me by the hand with that air of innocent gaiety
which distinguishes women who are naturally pious。
The count followed。 Masters； children； and servants knelt down； all
taking their regular places。 It was Madeleine's turn to read the
prayers。 The dear child said them in her childish voice； the ingenuous
tones of which rose clear in the harmonious silence of the country；
and gave to the words the candor of holy innocence； the grace of
angels。 It was the most affecting prayer I ever heard。 Nature replied
to the child's voice with the myriad murmurs of the coming night； like
the low accompaniment of an organ lightly touched； Madeleine was on
the right of the countess； Jacques on her left。 The graceful curly
heads； between which rose the smooth braids of the mother； and above
all three the perfectly white hair and yellow cranium of the father；
made a picture which repeated； in some sort； the ideas aroused by the
melody of the prayer。 As if to fulfil all conditions of the unity
which marks the sublime； this calm and collected group were bathed in
the fading light of the setting sun； its red tints coloring the room；
impelling the soulbe it poetic or superstitiousto believe that the
fires of heaven were visiting these faithful servants of God as they
knelt there without distinction of rank； in the equality which heaven
demands。 Thinking back to the days of the patriarchs my mind still
further magnified this scene； so grand in its simplicity。
The children said good…night； the servants bowed； the countess went
away holding a child by each hand； and I returned to the salon with
the count。
〃We provide you with salvation there； and hell here；〃 he said；
pointing to the backgammon…board。
The countess returned in half an hour； and brought her frame near the
table。
〃This is for you；〃 she said； unrolling the canvas； 〃but for the last
three months it has languished。 Between that rose and this heartsease
my poor child was ill。〃
〃Come； come；〃 said Monsieur de Mortsauf； 〃don't talk of that any more。
Sixfive； emissary of the king！〃
When alone in my room I hushed my breathing that I might hear her
passing to and fro in hers。 She was calm and pure； but I was lashed
with maddening ideas。 〃Why should she not be mine？〃 I thought；
〃perhaps she is； like me； in this whirlwind of agitation。〃 At one
o'clock； I went down； walking noiselessly； and lay before her door。
With my ear pressed to a chink I could hear her equable； gentle
breathing； like that of a child。 When chilled to the bone I went back
to bed and slept tranquilly till morning。 I know not what prenatal
influence； what nature within me； causes the delight I take in going
to the brink of precipices； sounding the gulf of evil； seeking to know
its depths； feeling its icy chill； and retreating in deep emotion。
That hour of night passed on the threshold of her door where I wept
with rage；though she never knew that on the morrow her foot had trod
upon my tears and kisses； on her virtue first destroyed and then
respected； cursed and adored；that hour； foolish in the eyes of many；
was nevertheless an inspiration of the same mysterious impulse which
impels the soldier。 Many have told me they have played their lives
upon it； flinging themselves before a battery to know if they could
escape the shot； happy in thus galloping into the abyss of
probabilities； and smoking like Jean Bart upon the gunpowder。
The next day I went to gather flowers and made two bouquets。 The count
admired them； though generally nothing of the kind appealed to him。
The clever saying of Champcenetz； 〃He builds dungeons in Spain；〃
seemed to have been made for him。
I spent several days at Clochegourde； going but seldom to Frapesle；
where； however； I dined three times。 The French army now occupied
Tours。 Though my presence was health and strength to Madame de
Mortsauf； she implored me to make my way to Chateauroux； and so round
by Issoudun and Orleans to Paris with what haste I could。 I tried to
resist； but she commanded me； saying that my guardian angel spoke。 I
obeyed。 Our farewell was； this time； dim with tears； she feared the
allurements of the life I was about to live。 Is it not a serious thing
to enter the maelstrom of interests； passions； and pleasures which
make Paris a dangerous ocean for chaste love and purity of conscience？
I promised to write to her every night； relating the events and
thoughts