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enial play of life； all the exquisite pleasures and soft resignations of the body； all that enlarges and calms the soul are exchanged for what is harsh and void and negative。 It encourages a stern and ignorant spirit of condemnation； it throws altogether out of gear the healthy movement of the conscience； it invents virtues which are sterile and cruel； it invents sins which are no sins at all； but which darken the heaven of innocent joy with futile clouds of remorse。 There is something horrible； if we will bring ourselves to face it； in the fanaticism that can do nothing with this pathetic and fugitive existence of ours but treat it as if it were the uncomfortable ante…chamber to a palace which no one has explored and of the plan of which we know absolutely nothing。 My Father； it is true； believed that he was intimately acquainted with the form and furniture of this habitation； and he wished me to think of nothing else but of the advantages of an eternal residence in it。
Then came a moment when my self…sufficiency revolted against the police…inspection to which my 'views' were incessantly subjected。 There was a morning； in the hot…house at home； among the gorgeous waxen orchids which reminded my Father of the tropics in his youth； when my forbearance or my timidity gave way。 The enervated air； soaked with the intoxicating perfumes of all those voluptuous flowers； may have been partly responsible for my outburst。 My Father had once more put to me the customary interrogatory。 Was I 'walking closely with God'？ Was my sense of the efficacy of the Atonement clear and sound？ Had the Holy Scriptures still their full authority with me？ My replies on this occasion were violent and hysterical。 I have no clear recollection what it was that I said；I desire not to recall the whimpering sentences in which I begged to be let alone； in which I demanded the right to think for myself； in which I repudiated the idea that my Father was responsible to God for my secret thoughts and my most intimate convictions。
He made no answer； I broke from the odorous furnace of the conservatory； and buried my face in the cold grass upon the lawn。 My visit to Devonshire； already near its close； was hurried to an end。 I had scarcely arrived in London before the following letter； furiously despatched in the track of the fugitive； buried itself like an arrow in my heart：
When your sainted Mother died； she not only tenderly committed you to God； but left you also as a solemn charge to me； to bring you up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord。 That responsibility I have sought constantly to keep before me： I can truly aver that it has been ever before mein my choice of a housekeeper； in my choice of a school； in my ordering of your holidays； in my choice of a second wife； in my choice of an occupation for you； in my choice of a residence for you； and in multitudes of lesser thingsI have sought to act for you； not in the light of this present world； but with a view to Eternity。
Before your childhood was past； there seemed God's manifest blessing on our care； for you seemed truly converted to Him； you confessed； in solemn baptism； that you had died and had been raised with Christ； and you were received with joy into the bosom of the Church of God； as one alive from the dead。
All this filled my heart with thankfulness and joy； whenever I thought of you：how could it do otherwise？ And when I left you in London； on that dreary winter evening； my heart； full of sorrowing love； found its refuge and its resource in this thought；that you 'were one of the lambs of Christ's flock； sealed with the Holy Spirit as His； renewed in heart to holiness； in the image of God。
For a while； all appeared to go on fairly well： we yearned； indeed； to discover more of heart in your allusions to religious matters； but your expressions towards us were filial and affectionate； your conduct； so far as we could see； was moral and becoming； you mingled with the people of God； spoke of occasional delight and profit in His ordinances； and employed your talents in service to Him。
But of late； and specially during the past year； there has become manifest a rapid progress towards evil。 （I must beg you here to pause； and again to look to God for grace to weigh what I am about to say； or else wrath will rise。）
When you came to us in the summer； the heavy blow fell full upon me； and I discovered how very far you had departed from God。 It was not that you had yielded to the strong tide of youthful blood； and had fallen a victim to fleshly lusts； in that case； however sad； your enlightened conscience would have spoken loudly； and you would have found your way back to the blood which cleanseth us from all sin； to humble confession and self… abasement； to forgiveness and to recommunion with God。 It was not this； it was worse。 It was that horrid； insidious infidelity； which had already worked in your mind and heart with terrible energy。 Far worse； I say； because this was sapping the very foundations of faith； on which all true godliness； all real religion； must rest。
Nothing seemed left to which I could appeal。 We had； I found； no common ground。 The Holy Scriptures had no longer any authority： you had taught yourself to evade their inspiration。 Any particular Oracle of God which pressed you； you could easily explain away； even the very character of God you weighed in your balance of fallen reason； and fashioned it accordingly。 You were thus sailing down the rapid tide of time towards Eternity； without a single authoritative guide （having cast your chart overboard）； except what you might fashion and forge on your own anvil；except what you might guess； in fact。
Do not think I am speaking in passion； and using unwarrantable strength of words。 If the written Word is not absolutely authoritative； what do we know of God？ What more than we can infer； that is； guess；as the thoughtful heathens guessed； Plato； Socrates； Cicero；
from dim and mute surrounding phenomena？ What do we know of Eternity？ Of our relations to God？ Especially of the relations of a sinner to God？ What of reconciliation？ What of the capital questionHow can a God of perfect spotless rectitude deal with me； a corrupt sinner； who have trampled on those of His laws which were even written on my conscience？。。。
This dreadful conduct of yours I had intended； after much prayer； to pass by in entire silence； but your apparently sincere inquiries after the cause of my sorrow have led me to go to the root of the matter； and I could not stop short of the development contained in this letter。 It is with pain； not in anger； that I send it； hoping that you may be induced to review the whole course； of which this is only a stage； before God。 If this grace were granted to you； oh！ how joyfully should I bury all the past； and again have sweet and tender fellowship with my beloved Son； as of old。
The reader who has done me the favour to follow this record of the clash of two temperaments will not fail to perceive the crowning importance of the letter from which I have just made a long quotation。 It sums up； with the closest logic； the whole history of the situation； and I may leave it to form the epigraph of this little book。
Al