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ssue of wild clematis。 Through this fantastic maze the traveller wound his way； led by little other clue than by the instinct of descent。 For me； as a child； it meant the labour of a long； an endless morning； to descend to the snow…white pebbles； to sport at the edge of the cold； sharp sea； and then to climb up home again； slipping in the sticky red mud； clutching at the smooth boughs of the wild ash； toiling； toiling upwards into flat land out of that hollow world of rocks。
On the first occasion I recollect； our Cockney housemaid； enthusiastic young creature that she was； flung herself down upon her knees； and drank of the salt waters。 Miss Marks； more instructed in phenomena； refrained； but I； although I was perfectly aware what the taste would be； insisted on sipping a few drops from the palm of my hand。 This was a slight recurrence of what I have called my 'natural magic' practices； which had passed into the background of my mind； but had not quite disappeared。 I recollect that I thought I might secure some power of walking on the sea； if I drank of ita perfectly irrational movement of mind； like those of savages。
My great desire was to walk out over the sea as far as I could； and then lie flat on it； face downwards； and peer into the depths。 I was tormented with this ambition； and； like many grown… up people； was so fully occupied by these vain and ridiculous desires that I neglected the actual natural pleasures around me。 The idea was not quite so demented as it may seem； because we were in the habit of singing； as well as reading； of those enraptured beings who spend their days in 'flinging down their golden crowns upon the jasper sea'。 Why； I argued； should I not be able to fling down my straw hat upon the tides of Oddicombe？ And； without question； a majestic scene upon the Lake of Gennesaret had also inflamed my fancy。 Of all these things； of course； I was careful to speak to no one。
It was not with Miss Marks； however； but with my Father； that I became accustomed to make the laborious and exquisite journeys down to the sea and back again。 His work as a naturalist eventually took him； laden with implements； to the rock…pools on the shore； and I was in attendance as an acolyte。 But our earliest winter in South Devon was darkened for us both by disappointments； the cause of which lay； at the time； far out of my reach。 In the spirit of my Father were then running； with furious velocity； two hostile streams of influence。 I was standing； just now； thinking of these things； where the Cascine ends in the wooded point which is carved out sharply by the lion… coloured swirl of the Arno on the one side and by the pure flow of the Mugnone on the other。 The rivers meet； and run parallel； but there comes a moment when the one or the other must conquer； and it is the yellow vehemence that drowns the purer tide。
So； through my Father's brain； in that year of scientific crisis； 1857； there rushed two kinds of thought； each absorbing； each convincing； yet totally irreconcilable。 There is a peculiar agony in the paradox that truth has two forms； each of them indisputable； yet each antagonistic to the other。 It was this discovery； that there were two theories of physical life； each of which was true； but the truth of each incompatible with the truth of the other； which shook the spirit of my Father with perturbation。 It was not； really； a paradox； it was a fallacy； if he could only have known it； but he allowed the turbid volume of superstition to drown the delicate stream of reason。 He took one step in the service of truth； and then he drew back in an agony； and accepted the servitude of error。
This was the great moment in the history of thought when the theory of the mutability of species was preparing to throw a flood of light upon all departments of human speculation and action。 It was becoming necessary to stand emphatically in one army or the other。 Lyell was surrounding himself with disciples； who were making strides in the direction of discovery。 Darwin had long been collecting facts with regard to the variation of animals and plants。 Hooker and Wallace； Asa Gray and even Agassiz； each in his own sphere； were coming closer and closer to a perception of that secret which was first to reveal itself clearly to the patient and humble genius of Darwin。 In the year before； in 1856； Darwin； under pressure from Lyell； had begun that modest statement of the new revelation； that 'abstract of an essay'； which developed so mightily into 'The Origin of Species'。 Wollaston's 'Variation of Species' had just appeared； and had been a nine days' wonder in the wilderness。
On the other side； the reactionaries； although never dreaming of the fate which hung over them； had not been idle。 In 1857 the astounding question had for the first time been propounded with contumely； 'What； then； did we come from an orang…outang？' The famous 'Vestiges of Creation' had been supplying a sugar…and… water panacea for those who could not escape from the trend of evidence； and who yet clung to revelation。 Owen was encouraging reaction by resisting； with all the strength of his prestige； the theory of the mutability of species。
In this period of intellectual ferment； as when a great political revolution is being planned； many possible adherents were confidentially tested with hints and encouraged to reveal their bias in a whisper。 It was the notion of Lyell； himself a great mover of men； that； before the doctrine of natural selection was given to a world which would be sure to lift up at it a howl of execration； a certain bodyguard of sound and experienced naturalists； expert in the description of species； should be privately made aware of its tenor。 Among those who were thus initiated； or approached with a view towards possible illumination； was my Father。 He was spoken to by Hooker； and later on by Darwin； after meetings of the Royal Society in the summer of 1857。
My Father's attitude towards the theory of natural selection was critical in his career； and oddly enough； it exercised an immense influence on my own experience as a child。 Let it be admitted at once； mournful as the admission is； that every instinct in his intelligence went out at first to greet the new light。 It had hardly done so； when a recollection of the opening chapter of ' Genesis' checked it at the outset。 He consulted with Carpenter； a great investigator； but one who was fully as incapable as himself of remodelling his ideas with regard to the old； accepted hypotheses。 They both determined； on various grounds； to have nothing to do with the terrible theory； but to hold steadily to the law of the fixity of species。 It was exactly at this juncture that we left London； and the slight and occasional but always extremely salutary personal intercourse with men of scientific leading which my Father had enjoyed at the British Museum and at the Royal Society came to an end。 His next act was to burn his ships down to the last beam and log out of which a raft could have been made。 By a strange act of wilfulness； he closed the doors upon himself forever。
My Father had never admired Sir Charles Lyell。 I think that the famous 'Lord Chancellor manner' of the geologist intimidated him； an