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time to start； but I've got to find my cloak； I have only one。
BLEPYRUS
I am going to have a look too； when I have finished crapping；
but I really think there must be a wild pear obstructing my rectum。
MAN
Is it the one which Thrasybulus spoke about to the Lacedaemonians？
BLEPYRUS
Oh！ oh！ oh！ stopped up I am！ Whatever am I to do？ It's not
merely for the present that I am frightened； but when I have eaten；
where is my crap to find an outlet now？ This damned McPear fellow
has bolted the door。 Call a doctor； but who is the cleverest in this
branch of the science？ Amynon？ Perhaps he would not come。 Ah！
Antisthenes！ Let him be brought to me； cost what it will。 To judge
by his noisy sighs； that man knows what an arse wants； when it needs
to crap。 Oh！ venerated Ilithyia！ I shall burst unless the door gives
way。 Have pity！ pity！ Let me not become a thunder…mug for the comic
poets。
（Enter CHREMES； returning from the Assembly。）
CHREMES
Hi！ friend； what are you doing there？ You're not crapping； are
you？
BLEPYRUS （finding relief at last）
Oh！ there！ it is over and I can get up again。
CHREMES
What's this？ You have your wife's tunic on。
BLEPYRUS
It was the first thing that came to my hand in the darkness。 But
where are you coming from？
CHREMES
From the Assembly。
BLEPYRUS
Is it already over then？
CHREMES
Certainly。
BLEPYRUS
Why； it is scarcely daylight。
CHREMES
I did laugh； ye gods； at the vermilion rope…marks that were to
be seen all about the Assembly。
BLEPYRUS
Did you get the triobolus？
CHREMES
Would it had so pleased the gods！ but I arrived just too late； and
am quite ashamed of it； I bring back nothing but this empty wallet。
BLEPYRUS
But why is that？
CHREMES
There was a crowd； such as has never been seen at the Pnyx； and
the folk looked pale and wan； like so many shoemakers； so white were
they in hue； both I and many another had to go without the triobolus。
BLEPYRUS
Then if I went now； I should get nothing。
CHREMES
No； certainly not； nor even had you gone at the second cock…crow。
BLEPYRUS
Oh！ what a misfortune！ 〃Oh； Antilochus！ no triobolus！ Even death
would be better！ I am undone！〃 But what can have attracted such a
crowd at that early hour？
CHREMES
The Prytanes started the discussion of measures closely concerning
the safety of the state； immediately； that blear…eyed fellow； the
son of Neoclides； was the first to mount the platform。 Then the folk
shouted with their loudest voice； 〃What！ he dares to speak； and
that； too； when the safety of the state is concerned； and he a man who
has not known how to save even his own eyebrows！〃 He； however； shouted
louder than all of them； and looking at them asked； 〃Why； what ought I
to have done？〃
BLEPYRUS
Pound together garlic and laserpitium juice； add to this mixture
some Laconian spurge； and rub it well into the eyelids at night。
That's what I should have answered； had I been there。
CHREMES
After him that clever rascal Evaeon began to speak； he was
naked； so far as we all could see； but he declared he had a cloak；
he propounded the most popular； the most democratic； doctrines。 〃You
see；〃 he said； 〃I have the greatest need of sixteen drachmae； the cost
of a new cloak； my health demands it； nevertheless I wish first to
care for that of my fellow…citizens and of my country。 If the
fullers were to supply tunics to the indigent at the approach of
winter； none would be exposed to pleurisy。 Let him who has neither
beds nor coverlets go to sleep at the tanners' after taking a bath；
and if they shut the door in winter； let them be condemned to give him
three goat…skins。〃
BLEPYRUS
By Dionysus； a fine； a very fine notion！ Not a soul will vote
against his proposal； especially if he adds that the flour…sellers
must supply the poor with three measures of corn； or else suffer the
severest penalties of the law； this is the only way Nausicydes can
be of any use to us。
CHREMES
Then we saw a handsome young man rush into the tribune； be was all
pink and white like young Nicias； and he began to say that the
direction of matters should be entrusted to the women； this the
crowd of shoemakers began applauding with all their might； while the
country…folk assailed him with groans。
BLEPYRUS
And； indeed； they did well。
CHREMES
But they were outnumbered； and the orator shouted louder than
they； saying much good of the women and much ill of you。
BLEPYRUS （eagerly）
And what did he say？
CHREMES
First he said you were a rogue。。。
BLEPYRUS
And you？
CHREMES
Wait a minute！。。。and a thief。。。
BLEPYRUS
I alone？
CHREMES
And an informer。
BLEPYRUS
I alone？
CHREMES
Why； no； by the gods！ this whole crowd here。
（He points to the audience。）
BLEPYRUS
And who avers the contrary？
CHREMES
He maintained that women were both clever and thrifty； that they
never divulged the Mysteries of Demeter； while you and I go about
babbling incessantly about whatever happens at the Senate。
BLEPYRUS
By Hermes； he was not lying！
CHREMES
Then he added that the women lend each other clothes； trinkets
of gold and silver； drinking…cups； and not before witnesses too； but
all by themselves； and that they return everything with exactitude
without ever cheating each other； whereas； according to him； we are
ever ready to deny the loans we have effected。
BLEPYRUS
Yes； by Posidon； and in spite of witnesses。
CHREMES
Again； he said that women were not informers； nor did they bring
lawsuits； nor hatch conspiracies； in short； he praised the women in
every possible manner。
BLEPYRUS
And what was decided？
CHREMES
To confide the direction of affairs to them； it's the one and only
innovation that has not yet been tried at Athens。
BLEPYRUS
And it was voted？
CHREMES
Yes。
BLEPYRUS
And everything that used to be the men's concern has been given
over to the women？
CHREMES
You express it exactly。
BLEPYRUS
Thus it will be my wife who will go to the courts now in my stead？
CHREMES
And it will be she who will keep your children in your place。
BLEPYRUS
I shall no longer have to tire myself out with work from
daybreak onwards？
CHREMES
No； 'twill be the women's business； and you can stay at home and
amuse yourself with farting the whole day through。
BLEPYRUS
Well； what I fear for us fellows now is； that； holding the reins
of government； they will forcibly compel us。。。
CHREMES
To do what？
BLEPYRUS
。。。to lay them。
CHREMES
And if we are not able？
BLEPYRUS
They will give us no dinner。
CHREMES
Well t