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with evasive ambiguity on this one subject owing to an ill…balanced
conception of what constituted true dignity； but he was unwilling that his
countrymen should be thought by mine to be sunk into a deeper barbarism
than actually existed。
His warning was not inopportune。 Seated next to this person at a later
period was a maiden from whose agreeably…poised lips had hitherto
proceeded nothing but sincerity and fact。 Watching her closely I asked her；
as one who only had a languid interest either one way or the other；
whether her revered father or her talented and richly…apparelled brothers
ever spent their time flying kites about the city。 In spite of a most efficient
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self…control her colour changed at my words； and her features trembled for
a moment； but quickly reverting to herself she replied that she thought not；
thenas though to subdue my suspicions more completelythat she was
sure they did not； as the kites would certainly frighten the horses and the
appointed watchmen of the street would not allow it。 She confessed；
however； with unassumed candour； that the immediate descendants of her
sister were gracefully proficient in the art。
From this； great and enlightened one； you will readily perceive how
misleading an impression might be carried away by a person scrupulously…
intentioned but not continually looking both ways； when placed among a
people endowed with the uneasy suspicion of the barbarian and struggling
to assert a doubtful refinement。 Apart from this； there has to be taken into
consideration their involved process of reasoning； and the unexpectedly
different standards which they apply to every subject。
At the house of the Maidens Blank； when the evening was not spent in
listening to melodious voices and the harmony of stringed woods； it was
usual to take part in sit…round games of various kinds。 （And while it is on
his brush this person would say with commendable pride that a well…
trained musician among us can extort more sound from a hollow wooden
pig； costing only a few cash； than the most skilful here ever attain on their
largest instrumenta highly…lacquered coffin on legs； filled with bells and
hidden springs； and frequently sold for a thousand taels。）
Upon a certain evening； at the conclusion of one sit…round game which
involved abrupt music； a barrier of chairs； and the exhilarating possibility
of being sat upon by the young and vivacious in their zeal； a person of the
company turned suddenly to the one who is communicating with you and
said enticingly； 〃Why did Birdcage Walk？〃
Not judging from his expression that this was other than a polite
inquiry on a matter which disturbed his repose； I was replying that the
manifestation was undoubtedly the work of a vexatious demon which had
taken up its abode in the article referred to； when another； by my side；
cried aloud； 〃Because it envied Queen Anne's Gate〃； and without a pause
cast back the question； 〃Who carved The Poultry？〃
In spite of the apparent simplicity of the demand it was received by all
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in an attitude of complicated doubt； and this person was considering
whether he might not acquire distinction by replying that such an office
fell by custom to the lot of the more austere Maiden Blank； when the very
inadequate reply； 〃Mark Lane with St。 Mary's Axe；〃 was received with
applause and some observations in a half…tone regarding the identity of the
fowl。
By the laws of the sit…round games the one who had last spoken now
proclaimed himself； demanding to know； 〃Why did Battersea Rise？〃 but
the involvement was evidently superficial； for the maiden at whose
memory this one's organs still vibrate ignobly at once replied； 〃Because it
thought Clapham Common；〃 in turn inquiring； 〃What made the Marble
Arch？〃
Although I would have willingly sacrificed to an indefinite extent to be
furnished with the preconcerted watchword； so that I might have enlarged
myself in the eyes of this consecrated being's unapproachable esteem； I
had already decided that the competition was too intangible for one whose
thoughts lay in well…defined parallel lines； and it fell to another to reply；
〃To hear Salisbury Court。〃
This； O my broad…minded ancestor of the first degreean aimless
challenge coupled with the name of one recognisable spot； replied to by
the haphazard retort of another place； frequently in no way joined to it；
was regarded as an exceptionally fascinating sit…round game by a company
of elderly barbarians！
〃What couldn't Walbrook？〃 it might be； and 〃Such Cheapside；〃 would
be deemed a praiseworthy solution。 〃When did King's Bench Walk？〃
would be asked； and to reply； 〃When Gray's Inn Road；〃 covered the one
with overpowering acclamation。 〃Bevis Marks only an Inner Circle at The
Butts； why？〃 was a demand of such elaborate complexity that （although
this person was lured out of his self…imposed restraint by the silence of all
round； and submerging his intelligence to an acquired level； unobtrusively
suggested； 〃Because Aylesbury ducks； perchance〃） it fell to the one
propounding to announce； 〃Because St。 John's Wood Shoot…up Hill。〃
Admittedly it is written； 〃When the shutter is fastened the girdle is
loosened；〃 but it is as truly said； 〃Not in the head； nor yet in the feet； but in
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the organs of digestion does wisdom reside；〃 and even in jesting the
middle course of neither an excessive pride nor an absolute weak…
mindedness is to be observed。 With what concrete pangs of acute mental
distress would this person ever behold his immaculate progenitor taking
part in a similar sit…round game with an assembly of worthy mandarins；
the one asking questions of meaningless import； as 〃Why did they
Hangkow？〃 and another replying in an equal strain of no consecutiveness；
〃In order to T'in Tung！〃
At length a person who is spoken of as having formerly been the
captain of a band of warriors turned to