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I have already dipped a revealing brush into the subject of names。
Were the practice of applying names in a wrong and illogical sequence
maintained throughout it might indeed raise a dignified smile； but it would
not appear contemptible； but what can be urged when upon an occasion
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one name appears first； upon another occasion last？ A dignity is conferred
in old age； and it is placed before the family designation borne by an
honoured father and a direct line of seventeen revered ancestors。 Another
title is bestowed； and eats up the former like a revengeful dragon。 New
distinctions follow； some at one end； others at another； until a very
successful person may be suitably compared to the ringed oleander snake；
which has the power of growing equally from either the head or the tail。
To express the matter by a definite allusion； how much more graceful and
orchideous； even in a condensed fashion； would appear the designation of
this selected one； if instead of the usual form of the country it was
habitually set forth in the following logical and thoroughly Chinese style：…
Chamberlain Joseph； Master； Mr。； Thrice Wearer of the Robes and Golden
Collar； One of the Just Peacemakers； Esquire； Member of the House of
Law…givers； Leader in the Council of Commerce； Presider over the Tables
of Provincial Government； Uprightly Honourable Secretary of the
Outlying Parts。
Among the notes which at various times I have inscribed in a book for
future guidance I find it written on an early page； 〃They do not hesitate to
express their fathers' names openly；〃 but to this assertion there stands a
warning sign which was added after the following incident。 〃Is it true； Mr。
Kong；〃 asked a lesser one； who is spoken of as vastly rich but discontented
with her previous lot； of this person upon an occasion； 〃is it really true that
your countrymen to not consider it right to speak of their fathers' names；
even in this enlightened age？〃 To this I replied that the matter was as she
had eloquently expressed it； and； encouraged by her amiable
condescension； I asked after the memory of her paternal grandsire； whose
name I had frequently heard whispered in connection with her own。 To my
inelegant confusion she regarded me for a period as though I had the
virtue of having become transparent； and then passed on in a most
overwhelming excess of disconcertingly…arranged silence。
〃You've done it now； Kong；〃 said one who stood by （or； as we would
express the same thought； 〃You have succeeded in accomplishing the
undesirable〃）； 〃don't you know that the old man was in the tripe and trotter
line？〃
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〃To no degree；〃 I replied truly。 〃Yet；〃 I continued； matching his idiom
with another equally facile； 〃wherein was this person's screw loose？ Are
they not openly referred tothose of the Line of Tripe and Trotterby their
descendants？〃
〃Not in most cases；〃 he said； with a concentration that indicated a
lurking sting among his words。 〃Generally speaking； they aren't mentioned
or taken into any account whatever。 While they are alive they are kept in
the background and invited to treat themselves to the Tower when nice
people are expected； when dead they are fastened up in the family back
cupboard by a score of ten…inch nails and three…trick Yale locks； so to
speak。 And in the meantime all the splash is being made on their muddy
oof。 See？〃
I nodded agreeably； though； had the opportunity been more favourable；
I would have made the feint to learn somewhat more of this secret practice
of burying in the enclosed space beneath the stairs。 Thus is it set forth why；
after the statement； 〃They do not hesitate to express their fathers' names
openly；〃 it is further written； 〃Walk slowly！ Engrave well upon your
discreet remembrance the unmentionable Line of Tripe and Trotter。〃
Another point of comparison which the superficial have failed to
record is to be found in the frequent encouragements to regard The Virtues
which are to be seen； like our own Confucian extracts； freely inscribed on
every wall and suitable place about the city。 These for the most part
counsel moderation in taking false oaths； in stepping heedlessly upon the
unknown ground； in following paths which lead to doubtful ends； and
other timely warnings。 〃Beware a smoke…breathing demon；〃 is frequently
cast across one's path upon a barrier； and this person has never failed to
accept the omen and to retrace his steps hastily without looking to the
right or the left。 Even our own national caution is not forgotten； although
to conform to barbarian indolence it is written； 〃Slowly； slowly； drive
slowly。〃 〃Keep to the Right〃 （or； 〃Abandon that which is evil；〃 as the
analogy holds；） is perhaps the most frequently displayed of all； and
doubtless many charitable persons obtain an ever…accruing merit by
hanging the sign bearing these words upon every available post。 Others are
of a stern and threatening nature； designed to make the most hardened ill…
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doer pause； asin their own tongue〃Rubbish may be shot here〃； which
we should render； 〃At any moment； and in such a place as this； a just
doom and extinction may overtake the worthless。〃 This inscription is
never to be seen except in waste expanses； where it points its significance
with a multiplied force。 There is another definite threat which is lavishly
set out； and so thoroughly that it may be encountered in the least
frequented and almost inaccessible spots。 This； as it may be translated；
reads； 〃Trespass not the forbidden。 The profligate may flourish like the
gourd for a season； but in the end assuredly they will be detected； and
justice meted out with the relentless fury of the written law。〃
In a converse position； the wide difference in the ceremonial