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devoid of encouragement。 While none actually pointed out the vehicle I
sought； many passed on in a state of inward contemplation without
replying； and somechiefly the attendants of other chariots of a similar
kindreplied in what I deemed to be a spirit of elusive metaphor； as he
who asserted that such a conveyance must be sought for at a point known
intimately as the Aldgate Pump； whence it started daily at half…past the
thirteenth gong…stroke； and another； who maintained that I had no prospect
of reaching the desired spot until I secured the services of one of a class of
female attendants who wear flowing blue robes in order to indicate that
they are prepared to encounter and vanquish any emergency in life。 To
make no elaborate pretence in the matter this person may definitely admit
that he never did reach the place in question； norin spite of a diligent
search in which he has encountered much obloquyhas he yet found any
barber sufficiently well equipped to undertake the detail。
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THE MIRROR OF KONG HO
Even more recently I suffered the unmerited rebuke of the superficial
through performing an act of deferential politeness。 Learning that the
enlightened and magnanimous sovereign of this country was setting out on
a journey I stationed myself in the forefront of those who stood before his
palace； intending to watch such parts of the procession as might be fitly
witnessed by one of my condition。 When these had passed； and the chariot
of the greatest approached； I respectfully turned my back to the road with
a propitiatory gesture； as of one who did not deem himself worthy even to
look upon a being of such majestic rank and acknowledged excellence。
This delicate action； by some incredible process of mental obliquity； was
held by those around to be a deliberate insult； if not even a preconcerted
signal； of open treachery； and had not a heaven…sent breeze at that moment
carried the hat of a very dignified bystander into the upper branches of an
opportune tree； and successfully turned aside the attention of the assembly
into a most immoderate exhibition of utter loss of gravity； I should
undoubtedly have been publicly tortured； if not actually torn to pieces。
But the incident first alluded to was of an even more elaborately…
contrived density than these； and some of the details are still unrolled
before the keenest edge of this one's inner perception。 Nevertheless； all is
now set down in unbroken exactness for your impartial judgment。
At the time of this exploit I had only ventured out on a few occasions；
and then； save those recorded； to no considerable extent； for it had already
become obvious that the enterprises in which I persistently became
involved never contributed to my material prosperity； and the
disappointment of finding that even when I could remember nine words of
a sentence in their language none of the barbarians could understand even
so much as a tenth of my own； further cast down my enthusiasm。
On the day which has been the object of this person's narration from
the first； he set out to become more fully instructed in the subjects already
indicated； and proceeding in a direction of which he had no actual
knowledge； he soon found himself in a populous and degraded quarter of
the city。 Presently； to his reasonable astonishment； he saw before him at a
point where two ill…constructed thoroughfares met； a spacious and
important building； many…storied in height； ornamented with a profusion
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THE MIRROR OF KONG HO
of gold and crystal； marble and precious stones； and displaying from a tall
pole the three…hued emblem of undeniable authority。 A never…ending
stream of people passed in and out by the numerous doors； the strains of
expertly wielded instruments could be distinctly heard inside； and the
warm odour of a most prepossessing spiced incense permeated the
surroundings。 〃Assuredly；〃 thought the person who is now recording the
incident； 〃this is one of the Temples of barbarian worship〃； and to set all
further doubt at rest he saw in letters of gilt splendour a variety of
praiseworthy and appropriate inscriptions； among which he read and
understood； 〃Excellent；〃 〃Fine Old；〃 〃Well Matured；〃 〃Spirits only of the
choicest quality within；〃 together with many other invocations from which
he could not wrest the hidden significance； as 〃Old Vatted；〃 〃Barclay's
Entire；〃 〃An Ordinary at One；〃 and the like。
By this time an impressive gathering had drawn around； and from its
manner of behaving conveyed the suspicion that an entertainment or
manifestation of some kind was confidently awaited。 To disperse so
outrageous a misconception this person was on the point of withdrawing
himself when he chanced to see； over the principal door of the Temple； a
solid gold figure of colossal magnitude； represented as crowned with
leaves and tendrils； and holding in his outstretched hands a gigantic； and
doubtless symbolic； bunch of grapes。 〃This；〃 I said to myself； 〃is evidently
the tutelary deity of the place； so displayed to receive the worship of the
passer…by。〃 With the discovery a thought of the most irreproachable
benevolence possessed me。 〃Why should not this person；〃 I reflected；
〃gain the unstinted approbation of those barbarians〃 （who by this time
completely encircled me in） 〃by doing obeisance towards their deity； and
by the same act delicately and inoffensively rebuke them for their own
too…frequent intolerable attitude towards the susceptibilities of others？ As
an unprejudiced follower； in his own land； of the systems of Confucius；
Lao…tse； and Buddha； this person already recognises the claims of
seventeen thousand nine hundred and thirty…three deities of various grades；
so that the addition of one more to that number can be a heresy of very
trivial expiation。〃 Inspired by these honourable sentiments； therefore； I at
once prostrated myself on the ground； and； amid a silence of really