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wretched that life had no farther attractions。
While I was leaning over the bulwark； musing on the complete hollowness
of all earthly things； the Captain of the vessel caught hold of me
roughly； and said：
〃Look here； you're just playin' the very devil a…commandin' these here
men。 Why in don't you stiffen up； and hump yourself around； and
make these men mind； or else belt them over the head with a capstan bar！
Now I want you to 'tend to your business。 D'you understand me？〃
I turned a pair of weary and hopeless eyes upon him； and started to say
that a man who would talk to one in my forlorn condition of 〃stiffening
up；〃 and 〃belting other fellows over the head with a capstan bar；〃 would
insult a woman dying with consumption； but I suddenly became too full for
utterance。
The milk punch； the onions； the bread； and meat and coffee tired of
fighting it out in the narrow quarters where I had stowed them； had
started upwards tumultuously。
I turned my head again to the sea； and looking down into its smaragdine
depths； let go of the victualistic store which I had been industriously
accumulating ever since I had come through the lines。
I vomited until I felt as empty and hollow as a stove pipe。 There was a
vacuum that extended clear to my toe…nails。 I feared that every retching
struggle would dent me in； all over； as one sees tin preserving cans
crushed in by outside pressure； and I apprehended that if I kept on much
longer my shoe…soles would come up after the rest。
I will mention； parenthetically； that； to this day I abhor milk punch；
and also onions。
Unutterably miserable as I was I could not refrain from a ghost of a
smile； when a poor country boy near me sang out in an interval between
vomiting spells：
〃O； Captain； for God's sake； stop the boat and lem'me go ashore； and I
swear I'll walk every step of the way home。〃
He was like old Gonzalo in the 'Tempest：'
Now world I give a thousand furlongs of sea for an acre of barren
ground； long heath； brown furze； anything。 The wills above be done！
but I would fain die a dry death。
After this misery had lasted about two days we got past Cape Hatteras；
and out of reach of its malign influence； and recovered as rapidly as we
had been prostrated。
We regained spirits and appetites with amazing swiftness； the sun came
out warm and cheerful； we cleaned up our quarters and ourselves as best
we could； and during the remainder of the voyage were as blithe and
cheerful as so many crickets。
The fun in the cabin was rollicking。 The officers had been as sick as
the men； but were wonderfully vivacious when the 'mal du mer' passed off。
In the party was a fine glee club； which had been organized at 〃Camp
Sorgum；〃 the officers' prison at Columbia。 Its leader was a Major of the
Fifth Iowa Cavalry； who possessed a marvelously sweet tenor voice； and
well developed musical powers。 While we were at Wilmington he sang 〃When
Sherman Marched Down to the Sea；〃 to an audience of soldiers that packed
the Opera House densely。
The enthusiasm he aroused was simply indescribable； men shouted； and the
tears ran down their faces。 He was recalled time and again； each time
with an increase in the furore。 The audience would have staid there all
night to listen to him sing that one song。 Poor fellow； he only went
home to die。 An attack of pneumonia carried him off within a fortnight
after we separated at Annapolis。
The Glee Club had several songs which they rendered in regular negro
minstrel style； and in a way that was irresistibly ludicrous。 One of
their favorites was 〃Billy Patterson。〃 All standing up in a ring； the
tenors would lead off：
〃I saw an old man go riding by；〃
and the baritones； flinging themselves around with the looseness of
Christy's Minstrels； in a 〃 break down；〃 would reply：
Don't tell me！ Don't tell me！〃
Then the tenors would resume：
〃Says I； Ole man； your horse'll die。'
Then the baritones； with an air of exaggerated interest；
〃A…ha…a…a； Billy Patterson！〃
Tenors：
〃For。 It he dies； I'll tan his skin；
An' if he lives I'll ride him agin；〃
All…together； with a furious 〃break down〃 at the close：
〃Then I'll lay five dollars down；
And count them one by one；
Then I'll lay five dollars down；
If anybody will show me the man
That struck Billy Patterson。〃
And so on。 It used to upset my gravity entirely to see a crowd of grave
and dignified Captains； Majors and Colonels going through this
nonsensical drollery with all the abandon of professional burnt…cork
artists。
As we were nearing the entrance to Chesapeake Bay we passed a great
monitor； who was exercising her crew at the guns。 She fired directly
across our course； the huge four hundred pound balls shipping along the
water； about a mile ahead of us； as we boys used to make the flat stones
skip in the play of 〃Ducks and Drakes。〃 One or two of the shots came so。
close that I feared she might be mistaking us for a Rebel ship intent on
some raid up the Bay； and I looked up anxiously to see that the flag
should float out so conspicuously that she could not help seeing it。
The next day our vessel ran alongside of the dock at the Naval Academy at
Annapolis； that institution now being used as a hospital for paroled
prisoners。 The musicians of the Post band came down with stretchers to
carry the sick to the Hospital； while those of us who were able to walk
were ordered to fall in and march up。 The distance was but a few hundred
yards。 On reaching the building we marched up on a little balcony； and
as we did so each one of us was seized by a hospital attendant； who； with
the quick dexterity attained by long practice； snatched every one of our
filthy； lousy rags off in the twinkling of an eye； and flung them over
the railing to the ground； where a man loaded them into a wagon with a
pitchfork。
With them went our faithful little black can； our hoop…iron spoon； and
our chessboard and men。
Thus entirely denuded； each boy was given a shove which sent him into a
little room； where a barber pressed him down upon a stool； and almost
before he understood what was being done； had his hair and beard cut off
as close as shears would do it。 Another tap on the back sent the shorn
lamb into a room furnished with great tubs of water and with about six
inches of soap suds on the zinc…covered floor。
In another minute two men with sponges had removed every trace of prison
grime from his body； and passed him on to two more men； who wiped him
dry； and moved him on to where a man handed him a new shirt； a pair of
drawers； pair of socks； pair of pantaloons； pair of slippers； and a
hospital gown； and motioned him to go on into the large room； and array
himself in his new garments。 Like everything else about the Hospital
this performance was reduced to a perfect system。 Not a word was spoken
by anybody； not a moment's time lost； and it seemed to me that it was not
ten minutes after I marched up on the balcony； covered with dirt； rags；
vermin； and a matted shock of hair； until I