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whenever the weather would permit； we should have a story two hours
after dinner （I always issued the allowance I have mentioned at one
o'clock； and called it by that name）； as well as our song at sunset。
The proposal was received with a cheerful satisfaction that warmed
my heart within me； and I do not say too much when I say that those
two periods in the four…and…twenty hours were expected with positive
pleasure； and were really enjoyed by all hands。 Spectres as we soon
were in our bodily wasting； our imaginations did not perish like the
gross flesh upon our bones。 Music and Adventure； two of the great
gifts of Providence to mankind； could charm us long after that was
lost。
The wind was almost always against us after the second day； and for
many days together we could not nearly hold our own。 We had all
varieties of bad weather。 We had rain； hail； snow； wind； mist；
thunder and lightning。 Still the boats lived through the heavy
seas； and still we perishing people rose and fell with the great
waves。
Sixteen nights and fifteen days； twenty nights and nineteen days；
twenty…four nights and twenty…three days。 So the time went on。
Disheartening as I knew that our progress； or want of progress； must
be； I never deceived them as to my calculations of it。 In the first
place； I felt that we were all too near eternity for deceit； in the
second place； I knew that if I failed； or died； the man who followed
me must have a knowledge of the true state of things to begin upon。
When I told them at noon； what I reckoned we had made or lost； they
generally received what I said in a tranquil and resigned manner；
and always gratefully towards me。 It was not unusual at any time of
the day for some one to burst out weeping loudly without any new
cause； and； when the burst was over； to calm down a little better
than before。 I had seen exactly the same thing in a house of
mourning。
During the whole of this time； old Mr。 Rarx had had his fits of
calling out to me to throw the gold （always the gold！） overboard；
and of heaping violent reproaches upon me for not having saved the
child； but now； the food being all gone； and I having nothing left
to serve out but a bit of coffee…berry now and then； he began to be
too weak to do this； and consequently fell silent。 Mrs。 Atherfield
and Miss Coleshaw generally lay； each with an arm across one of my
knees； and her head upon it。 They never complained at all。 Up to
the time of her child's death； Mrs。 Atherfield had bound up her own
beautiful hair every day； and I took particular notice that this was
always before she sang her song at night； when everyone looked at
her。 But she never did it after the loss of her darling； and it
would have been now all tangled with dirt and wet； but that Miss
Coleshaw was careful of it long after she was herself； and would
sometimes smooth it down with her weak thin hands。
We were past mustering a story now； but one day； at about this
period； I reverted to the superstition of old Mr。 Rarx； concerning
the Golden Lucy； and told them that nothing vanished from the eye of
God； though much might pass away from the eyes of men。 〃We were all
of us；〃 says I； 〃children once； and our baby feet have strolled in
green woods ashore； and our baby hands have gathered flowers in
gardens； where the birds were singing。 The children that we were；
are not lost to the great knowledge of our Creator。 Those innocent
creatures will appear with us before Him； and plead for us。 What we
were in the best time of our generous youth will arise and go with
us too。 The purest part of our lives will not desert us at the pass
to which all of us here present are gliding。 What we were then；
will be as much in existence before Him； as what we are now。〃 They
were no less comforted by this consideration； than I was myself； and
Miss Coleshaw； drawing my ear nearer to her lips； said； 〃Captain
Ravender； I was on my way to marry a disgraced and broken man； whom
I dearly loved when he was honourable and good。 Your words seem to
have come out of my own poor heart。〃 She pressed my hand upon it；
smiling。
Twenty…seven nights and twenty…six days。 We were in no want of
rain…water； but we had nothing else。 And yet； even now； I never
turned my eyes upon a waking face but it tried to brighten before
mine。 O； what a thing it is； in a time of danger and in the
presence of death； the shining of a face upon a face！ I have heard
it broached that orders should be given in great new ships by
electric telegraph。 I admire machinery as much is any man； and am
as thankful to it as any man can be for what it does for us。 But it
will never be a substitute for the face of a man； with his soul in
it； encouraging another man to be brave and true。 Never try it for
that。 It will break down like a straw。
I now began to remark certain changes in myself which I did not
like。 They caused me much disquiet。 I often saw the Golden Lucy in
the air above the boat。 I often saw her I have spoken of before；
sitting beside me。 I saw the Golden Mary go down； as she really had
gone down； twenty times in a day。 And yet the sea was mostly； to my
thinking； not sea neither； but moving country and extraordinary
mountainous regions； the like of which have never been beheld。 I
felt it time to leave my last words regarding John Steadiman； in
case any lips should last out to repeat them to any living ears。 I
said that John had told me （as he had on deck） that he had sung out
〃Breakers ahead！〃 the instant they were audible； and had tried to
wear ship； but she struck before it could be done。 （His cry； I dare
say； had made my dream。） I said that the circumstances were
altogether without warning； and out of any course that could have
been guarded against； that the same loss would have happened if I
had been in charge； and that John was not to blame； but from first
to last had done his duty nobly； like the man he was。 I tried to
write it down in my pocket…book； but could make no words； though I
knew what the words were that I wanted to make。 When it had come to
that； her handsthough she was dead so longlaid me down gently in
the bottom of the boat； and she and the Golden Lucy swung me to
sleep。
ALL THAT FOLLOWS； WAS WRITTEN BY JOHN STEADIMAN； CHIEF MATE；
On the twenty…sixth day after the foundering of the Golden Mary at
sea； I； John Steadiman； was sitting in my place in the stern…sheets
of the Surf…boat； with just sense enough left in me to steerthat
is to say； with my eyes strained； wide…awake； over the bows of the
boat； and my brains fast asleep and dreamingwhen I was roused upon
a sudden by our second mate； Mr。 William Rames。
〃Let me take a spell in your place；〃 says he。 〃And look you out for
the Long…boat astern。 The last time she rose on the crest of a
wave； I thought I made out a signal flying aboard her。〃
We shifted our places； clumsily and slowly enough； for we were b