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〃The fellow's mad；〃 he thought firmly； but this opinion did not
mollify him towards Haldin。 It was a particularly impudent form
of lunacyand when it got loose in the sphere of public life of
a country； it was obviously the duty of every good citizen。 。 。
This train of thought broke off short there and was succeeded by
a paroxysm of silent hatred towards Haldin； so intense that
Razumov hastened to speak at random。
〃Yes。 Eternity； of course。 I； too； can't very well represent
it to myself。 。 。 。 I imagine it； however； as something quiet and dull。
There would be nothing unexpecteddon't you see？ The element of time
would be wanting。〃
He pulled out his watch and gazed at it。 Haldin turned over on
his side and looked on intently。
Razumov got frightened at this movement。 A slippery customer
this fellow with a phantom。 It was not midnight yet。 He
hastened on
〃And unfathomable mysteries！ Can you conceive secret places in
Eternity？ Impossible。 Whereas life is full of them。 There are
secrets of birth； for instance。 One carries them on to the
grave。 There is something comical。 。 。but never mind。 And there
are secret motives of conduct。 A man's most open actions have a
secret side to them。 That is interesting and so unfathomable！
For instance； a man goes out of a room for a walk。 Nothing more
trivial in appearance。 And yet it may be momentous。 He comes
backhe has seen perhaps a drunken brute； taken particular
notice of the snow on the groundand behold he is no longer the
same man。 The most unlikely things have a secret power over
one's thoughtsthe grey whiskers of a particular personthe
goggle eyes of another。〃
Razumov's forehead was moist。 He took a turn or two in the room；
his head low and smiling to himself viciously。
〃Have you ever reflected on the power of goggle eyes and grey
whiskers？ Excuse me。 You seem to think I must be crazy to talk
in this vein at such a time。 But I am not talking lightly。 I
have seen instances。 It has happened to me once to be talking to
a man whose fate was affected by physical facts of that kind。
And the man did not know it。 Of course； it was a case of
conscience； but the material facts such as these brought about
the solution。 。 。 。 And you tell me； Victor Victorovitch；
not to be anxious！ Why！ I am responsible for you；〃
Razumov almost shrieked。
He avoided with difficulty a burst of Mephistophelian laughter。
Haldin； very pale； raised himself on his elbow。
〃And the surprises of life；〃 went on Razumov； after glancing at
the other uneasily。 〃Just consider their astonishing nature。 A
mysterious impulse induces you to come here。 I don't say you
have done wrong。 Indeed； from a certain point of view you could
not have done better。 You might have gone to a man with
affections and family ties。 You have such ties yourself。 As to
me； you know I have been brought up in an educational institute
where they did not give us enough to eat。 To talk of affection
in such a connexionyou perceive yourself。 。 。 。 As to ties；
the only ties I have in the world are social。 I must get
acknowledged in some way before I can act at all。 I sit here
working。 。 。 。 And don't you think I am working for progress too？
I've got to find my own ideas of the true way。 。 。 。 Pardon me；〃
continued Razumov； after drawing breath and with a short； throaty
laugh； 〃but I haven't inherited a revolutionary inspiration
together with a resemblance from an uncle。〃
He looked again at his watch and noticed with sickening disgust
that there were yet a good many minutes to midnight。 He tore
watch and chain off his waistcoat and laid them on the table well
in the circle of bright lamplight。 Haldin； reclining on his
elbow； did not stir。 Razumov was made uneasy by this attitude。
〃What move is he meditating over so quietly？〃 he thought。 〃He
must be prevented。 I must keep on talking to him。〃
He raised his voice。
〃You are a son； a brother； a nephew； a cousinI don't know
whatto no end of people。 I am just a man。 Here I stand before
you。 A man with a mind。 Did it ever occur to you how a man who
had never heard a word of warm affection or praise in his
life would think on matters on which you would think first with
or against your class； your domestic traditionyour fireside
prejudices？。 。 。 Did you ever consider how a man like that would
feel？ I have no domestic tradition。 I have nothing to think
against。 My tradition is historical。 What have I to look back to
but that national past from which you gentlemen want to wrench
away your future？ Am I to let my intelligence； my aspirations
towards a better lot； be robbed of the only thing it has to go
upon at the will of violent enthusiasts？ You come from your
province； but all this land is mineor I have nothing。 No doubt
you shall be looked upon as a martyr some day a sort of heroa
political saint。 But I beg to be excused。 I
am content in fitting myself to be a worker。 And what can you
people do by scattering a few drops of blood on the snow？ On
this Immensity。 On this unhappy Immensity！ I tell you；〃 he
cried； in a vibrating； subdued voice； and advancing one step
nearer the bed； 〃that what it needs is not a lot of haunting
phantoms that I could walk throughbut a man！〃
Haldin threw his arms forward as if to keep him off in horror。
〃I understand it all now；〃 he exclaimed； with awestruck dismay。
〃I understandat last。〃
Razumov staggered back against the table。 His forehead broke out
in perspiration while a cold shudder ran down his spine。
〃What have I been saying？〃 he asked himself。 〃Have I let him slip
through my fingers after all？
〃He felt his lips go stiff like buckram； and instead of a
reassuring smile only achieved an uncertain grimace。
〃What will you have？〃 he began in a conciliating voice which got
steady after the first trembling word or two。 〃What will you have？
Considera man of studious； retired habitsand suddenly like this。 。 。 。
I am not practised in talking delicately。 But。 。 。
〃He felt anger； a wicked anger； get hold of him again。
〃What were we to do together till midnight？ Sit here opposite
each other and think of youryour…shambles？〃
Haldin had a subdued； heartbroken attitude。 He bowed his head；
his hands hung between his knees。 His voice was low and pained
but calm。
〃I see now how it is； Razumovbrother。 You are a magnanimous
soul； but my action is abhorrent to youalas。 。 。〃
Razumov stared。 From fright he had set his teeth so hard that his
whole face ached。 It was impossible for him to make a sound。
〃And even my person； too； is loathsome to you perhaps；〃 Haldin
added mournfully； after a short pause； looking up for a moment；
then fixing his gaze on the floor。 〃For indeed； unless one。 。 。〃
He broke off evidently waiting for a word。 Razumov remained
silent。 Haldin nodded his head dejectedly twice。